Short answer? No. Long answer? It’s Complicated. How do you know? Well, you don’t. Sometimes it happens, but, more often than not, it doesn’t. Let’s be honest here, someone engaging in a booty call isn’t thinking relationship, they are thinking SEX … hot, passionate, rip your clothes off sex. They aren’t your friend (that’s a friends with benefits), they are someone who calls you up randomly to have sex, then, they leave. A while back I wrote a post called Booty Call-iquette When You’re Single and Dating and in it I gave the good, the bad and the ugly of booty calls in addition to some rules for booty calls should you have them. Some of these rules include engaging in the sexual act but none of the relationship stuff. For example, no cuddling and no sleeping over. Booty calls are all sex, nothing else. Unemotional sex. It’s physical pleasure. They should only randomly take place once in a while, not daily, not several times a week and not weekly. Is this a good or bad thing? Depends who you ask.
It’s All Fun And Games Until Someone Wants More
I get countless questions about booty calls. Additionally, many of the searches people do to come to my blog are related to this topic. Here are some of the main questions:
- How do I turn my booty call into a relationship?
- How do I know if I’m just a booty call?
- How to keep my booty call from leaving me?
- Is my booty call a relationship?
- Does my booty call love me?
- My booty call is jealous.
- How do I make my booty call want more than just sex?
- I think about my booty call all the time.
Yikes! See a theme here? You guessed it … someone has developed feelings for their booty call and it has become emotional for them. These questions are not from one or two people, these are from A LOT of people. This is daily. This isn’t good and it concerns me. Booty calls should be unemotional, all about the fun, but, not everyone can have unemotional sex. Therefore, not everyone should engage in booty call behavior. I’ve said this before. If you know you’re in a vulnerable place then this activity isn’t for you. If you’re a “feeler” and not a “doer” then this isn’t for you. Be honest with yourself and protect yourself. Only YOU can protect you from being hurt. You know yourself and be true to you, especially when it comes to this. Otherwise, you will be left sad and lonely, and, worst of all, empty. Some people can engage in this behavior with absolutely no problems and are able to walk away without missing a beat. Most can’t. Let’s be honest.
Can Your Booty Call Turn Into A Relationship?
Well, like I said, anything is within the realm of possibility, but the odds are against you. Let me tell you why. If this person wanted a relationship with you they would have a relationship with you. They would want to see you outside of the bedroom. They would want to hang out and make things exclusive. They aren’t? Well, then chances are it’s because they are interested in only sex. If you really feel that there is something more there and you want to see where it goes, then, you initiate something. Ask them out to something different, something you both would enjoy that doesn’t start or end in sex. If they say yes and actually follow through with it, then you might be on to something. The key is balancing sexual and non-sexual activities, including social ones. Can you function as a “couple” without sex? Yes? Then a relationship might be developing. No? Then you will want to end this arrangement ASAP because you’re only going to get hurt because you want more and they obviously don’t.
Don’t invest your time and energy into someone who only wants you for sex and nothing more. I always say “if someone wants to be with you they will be”. Plain. Simple. Go out and find someone worthy of you and who will appreciate you for all the wonderful things you can bring into their lives. Find someone who fulfills you mind, body and soul. If you need to scratch an itch every once in a while then make sure there are no strings attached with your hook up and you don’t make it a habit and keep it short term. Let’s be honest, isn’t sex oh so much better when two people actually love each other and are committed? When there is an emotional connection that goes both ways? I think so, no, I KNOW so!
What do you think? Do you agree or disagree? Can booty calls turn into a relationship? Would love to hear your thoughts in the comments!
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva