Falling in love & dating online has become commonplace. Potentially leading to long distance relationships. Skype is a good way to keep the love fires burning!
Read more in my latest on Singles Warehouse:
http://www.singleswarehouse.co.uk/2012/05/falling-in-love-on-skype/
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
Has this happened to you? You’re checking your FaceBook profile and all of a sudden you feel a poke … not from someone you know but some random guy or gal from the land of far far away. You think, WTF? Someone is trying to get your attention. What is the point of the poke? Well, straight from the mouth of the creator (no, not God, Mark Zukerberg) “when we created the poke, we thought it would be cool to have a feature without any specific purpose. People interpret the poke in many different ways, and we encourage you to come up with your own meanings.” How do you interpret the poke? Well, some people just see it as a “hello”, some see it as more … some even give it sexual innuendos. What is the point, you ask, and how does it relate to being single and dating?
Often times, pokes are intended as flirtation. Then there are the other times when it’s just weird, creepy, and annoying. But, annoying as it seems and it is, poking has led to many encounters between people. It’s one thing when a friend does it, but when it’s a complete stranger who pokes you it’s another story altogether. So do you poke back or do you just ignore it? What is poking protocol? Do you poke back to be polite or just ignore it?
I know personally I don’t poke back. I find it rude and obnoxious. I take it like a real life poke, I don’t want anyone poking me, well, ahem, you know what I mean. Imagine people going around poking other people! There would certainly be a whole lot of recipricol slapping!! What is my conclusion? Well, if you really want to get someone’s attention on FaceBook, send them a message, and if you can’t, then try to add them as a friend. If they are interested then they will reciprocate, if not, then you tried. But please no poking!!! No one likes FaceBook creepers … not sexy and not attractive!
Have you met someone via “poke”, FaceBook that is! Share what you think and leave a comment (anonymously if you like)!!
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
They say truly letting go is an art. That most people never really truly release another person, that they will always have a part of them in you. Is it possible to really let go of someone else or does their memory have to haunt you forever? I personally think that you can never really let someone go, especially those who have had a profound impact on you, good or bad. So what do you do then? Just hide it in the back of your mind and move forward? Well, it’s not really that simple is it? Emotions ALWAYS get in the way.
This past weekend I was at one of my best friend’s bachelorette parties. It was lots of fun and I had a nice time with some good friends celebrating. One of our activities was going out to a night club, which generally is quite enjoyable, however, a few of my ex liaisons from the past couple years happened to be there too that night. Oh what fun! So, what is a girl to do? Just when you think you wipe out someone from your mind, there they are creeping back in. Not the feelings mind you, just the memories, good and bad. Let’s just say, good thing I had been drinking since the afternoon!
We said our hellos, I try to always be civil, try, and I stuck with my friends. The funny thing is that most of these guys came in one after the other … I swear it was like a nightmare come true. Picture it, one comes in, says hi, how are you, then moves on, then another one walks in … and another … and another. First I thought it was the alcohol, perhaps I’m imagining, but nope, there they all were. So I ask again is it truly possible to ever REALLY let go? I say yes. Is it possible to forget? Well, no.
Although I really didn’t want to see them and although seeing them brought back memories, it didn’t spark feelings. THAT was a bonus. One of them looked quite sexy actually which usually would make me hot under the collar … but I didn’t cave. I was very proud of myself. I realized each person you meet becomes a part of who you are, and if you date them they leave a lasting impression that you will never forget because you learn from it. Well, at least I did.
Lesson learned. It’s ok not to completely let go, but take all that negative energy and turn it into something good. You never have to go back there again, but you can use that experience to make yourself a better person and a better dater. So instead of running away from your past, embrace it and be proud of it. It has made you and transformed you into the butterfly that you are!
Stirring the Dating Sauce,
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
Originally Published on The Dating Sauce
There are countless ways of meeting new people, but to meet singles doing the things you love ensures you at least have some things that you share.
Check out my guest post for Singles Warehouse on Dazed Reflections of a Diva
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
When I heard about the book 50 Shades of Grey, I was curious but not interested right away. Then as interest and hype increased, it piqued my interest a little more, but I’m a fan of Historical Fiction as well as Paolo Coelho and Khalil Gibran, so I don’t jump right on the bandwagon with other books. Then the book got banned from some libraries and other places … OK NOW I’m interested!! You know me, if something is causing a little controversy I’m right on it! So I ordered the trilogy online and started reading. Nothing like a little erotica and BDSM to get you going!
It made me think … why is it such a hit? I recently wrote about how women are so independent that they don’t think they need men anymore and it’s scaring men off and that’s why, I argue, chivalry is dead. This book is about a smart, educated, independent women who is completely overtaken by a strong, assertive, dominating man. Could that be what women REALLY want? That this whole women’s movement is all a bunch of BS? I’m not sure, but it has made me think so. Perhaps it’s the erotic nature of the book, but seriously, it wasn’t THAT out of the ordinary (actually, ahem, quite tame compared to … wait, I digress), OK, maybe there’s a bunch of sexually frustrated women out there who needed a boost. Well, then this book was a good thing. Regardless, this book had a different impact on me.
So I started reading and the more I read on, the more I didn’t want to read. Not because it was disturbing but I didn’t want to read because I had lived something quite similar and I didn’t want to go back there. I had my very own Christian Grey. The only difference was that he wasn’t as generous and it wasn’t a public “relationship”. It’s uncanny really. It really really is. I kept reading and putting it down. Reading and putting it down. I hated it, but I had to finish the book.
So what was it about Christian Grey that reminded me of my relationship (if that’s what you want to call it) with, well let’s call him “The Boss”? First and foremost he is the quintessential “Alpha Male”, no doubt about who he is and his influence. He’s controlling, needs to be the one who makes the all the decisions, especially always taking the lead about when we see each other, what we’re doing and where we’re doing it. He wanted to be the only one I talked to and was with without making any sort of commitment to me. He also had a mesmerizing effect on me, and this is where the book really got to me.
From the moment The Boss and I met it was an incredible connection. Heart palpitations, stomach butterflies, dry mouth, fumbling, shaking … you name it. It was like a big ball of energy hit me in the head. Instantly we were drawn to each other and became somewhat obsessed with each other. If someone had told me about feeling that way I would have called them crazy. But it was very real. Just as it was in the book between Ana and Christian, it was between The Boss and me. I hated it and him at the same time as loving him and the whole thing. It was pure insanity. No matter how hard we both tried to stop, we couldn’t.
There was an inexplicable force between us … drawing us together. Touching each other was like a surge of energy. Insanity. Soul mates I thought … that must be it. That or pure evil. Whatever it was I didn’t want it to go away, I gave in. Big mistake. The more I gave in the more he took over my body and soul … and took advantage of the fact that I would do anything for him. No matter what anyone told me I didn’t believe it, I knew I needed him like I needed water and air. Insanity? Or maybe Obsession.
What was crazy about the book and what freaked me out were the messages between Ana and Christian and how they spoke with each other … even the WORDS used. I could seriously go back into my messages and read some of the SAME WORDS. That made me think, wait a minute, do men like The Boss and Christian Grey create these feelings in women? Is there some sort of handbook? Do they create the energy that is generated? Is it all planned? No, it can’t be, but can it? It’s so identical that it’s uncanny! I knew after a long while I needed out of that liaison. It wasn’t going anywhere. I needed something in return, a real relationship, something he wasn’t giving me.
Anyway, with that behind me, reading the book just brought up some unhappy and uncomfortable feelings, but it also made me grateful for having that kind of intense, mind-blowing and euphoric love affair. Now I just need to settle down with someone who loves me and I love them. I want to give my all to someone who gives their all to me. But just a word of caution to all you ladies out there who want your very own Mr. Grey … it may be exciting at first, but it’s really not all it’s cracked up to be!
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
Women historically have been given the role of temptress or seducer. I would like to protest! They do exist but men do the same thing. Here’s how to spot them!
Read more in my latest on Singles Warehouse:
http://www.singleswarehouse.co.uk/?p=6919
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
That term “lady” gets thrown around a lot doesn’t it? What does it mean to be a lady? Well, it certainly doesn’t mean the same thing it used to … or does it? The whole feminist movement has changed the way women and men interact and how women want to be treated. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not all bad, but I think it’s gone too far. OK, stop throwing all your bras at me … wait a minute! Hear me out!
Feminism has paved the road for some great things for women as well as lifting the level of respect and equality to a new level. There’s nothing wrong with a woman being able to take care of herself and do what she wanted without a man. These days woman can totally function without a man. They work, they own homes, they own cars and can even have children without men. The problem is that they then complain about not having a man to take care of them. Think about it, what kind of energy are you giving off when you are bragging about not needing a man? Why in the world WOULDN’T you want a man to hold the door open for you? Men don’t do these things anymore because women give them dirty looks when they do. So, then, if chivalry is dead, whose fault is it really?
Let me tell you a little secret … shh come close … men need to be needed just as much as you need to be! Even if in reality you don’t need them they don’t need to know that. I am not ashamed to say that even though I can take out the garbage and do things around the house myself, I would much prefer a man do them for me. I am happy cooking him an amazing meal in exchange and giving him a massage after a long day at work and satisfying his every need.
Make a man feel like a real man
and he’ll act like one.
Act like a real woman and your man
will treat you like one!
Personally, I want to be treated like a real lady and I want a man to be a perfect gentleman with me! Heck, I want men in general to be gentlemen … I want a man to open the door for me, I want a man to give me his seat on the bus, I want a man to pull out my chair, I want a man to pay for dates, I want a man to protect me, I want a man to bring me flowers, I want a man to play Sinatra while dancing with me and telling me how much he loves and adores me. I know what it means. It means I have to also act like a real woman … to take care of my man.
I would like nothing more than to make my man feel like the king of his castle, keep him happy and satisfied. Tell me … what is wrong with that? NOTHING!! Yes, you heard right!! I’m not ashamed to say it and it doesn’t make me less of an independent woman. It’s just my choice … everyone can choose their path, this is the one that I want. I have a good job, my own house and a nice car and do I NEED a man to support me? No way! But I do need a man to take care of me, not financially, but physically and emotionally and love me unconditionally and I will do the same for him. That’s what I’m looking for.
Is he out there? My true gentleman? My knight in shining armor? If you’re out there … your woman is waiting for you! Prove to me that chivalry is not dead! Just don’t hit me over the head with a club while you grunt … I promise to keep the home fires burning (among other things)! MEOW!
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
“Love does not consist of gazing at each other,
but in looking outward together in the same direction.”
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
The further along in my dating adventure that I get, the more I see the importance of being on the same page as your significant other. What does that really mean? Well, it means that in all the important things you are in agreement. This doesn’t mean you have everything in common, nor does it mean you will never disagree, but what it does mean is that because you want your relationship to work, you will make it work. That is one of the main reasons for my divorce, we weren’t looking forward in the same direction … we were on totally different pages and, frankly, my ex husband didn’t even make an effort.
We get so caught up in the “finding things in common” aspect of dating that we forget the really important things like family, friendship, love, trust and respect. All these things form the foundation of a relationship, without them you really are just wasting time. I am not minimizing the importance of fun and mutual interests, but really, you can live with those kinds of differences and compromise. However, if someone doesn’t prove that they want to be with you then what’s the point really? If they don’t love you enough and treat you with respect you’ve got nothing.
Looking forward in the same direction also means the way you interact with family and friends. Are you a family oriented person? Then you need someone who is also family oriented. Do you enjoy spending time with friends? Then you need someone who supports that and increases your network of friends. It’s simple really, but we complicate things by thinking people will change (I’ve also made that mistake). What you see is what you get. No one is perfect, but some things should be given more importance then others. Consider what you are willing to compromise on and what things are deal breakers.
Personally, that’s what I am really looking for, someone to walk on my journey with me. I know there will be bumps and craters in the road, but when I fall they will help me up and dust me off, and I will do the same for them. When we come to a fork in the road, we will decide together which way to go, as a team. This is my ideal … this will be my reality … I just have to believe.
Stirring the Dating Sauce,
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
Originally Published on The Dating Sauce
Ever wish you could just forget?
We go through so many dating adventures, some good, some not so good. Sometimes I really do wish I could just wipe my memory of the whole experience! Especially those times that I didn’t make the right choices. But, then I saw this quote one day and thought that perhaps I needed an attitude readjustment. Perhaps I didn’t need to forget, but I just needed to deal with my emotions and move forward.
Life is all about taking chances and learning from our mistakes. I always say my divorce was the best thing to ever happen to me because it forced me to be who I am today … a confident, happy person who is being true to herself. Over time, I have let go of a lot of my baggage and moved forward. But still, I wish I could erase the memory of some people and experience from my life. I guess we all do.
Here’s a little reflection (and a little fun) about what some of us would do with a memory erasing device …
http://www.singleswarehouse.co.uk/2012/05/women-in-pink-wip-helping-single-people-everywhere-forget/
Do you wish you could forget something or someone?
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
Single Dating Diva is an award winning blog dedicated to single people everywhere!
It showcases the many adventures we have and how challenging, but also exciting dating really is!
I share my dating stories as well as those of others.
With experience comes wisdom and I also share some lessons learned along the way.
WINNER of Best Overall Dating Blog!
Named one of the 10 BEST Women's Dating Experts!
Hello Lovelies!! Single Dating Diva has been nominated for Great Dating Blogs 2013 in the Best Dating Blogs category!! Please help me make the finals by voting for me right here: Great Dating Blogs Nominations Your vote means so much to me!! Vote as much as you can and tell all your friends Thank you […]
