Second chances … I am notorious for just saying NO!! I don’t give second chances … Taylor Swift said it best when she said in her new song “We Are Never Ever Ever Getting Back Together”!!!
Why don’t I give second chances? Am I heartless? Do I not forgive? Actually, just the opposite. I am a very forgiving person (sometimes too much) and am willing to let someone’s transgressions go, if they are truly sorry, but I won’t, under any circumstances, take them back, friends maybe, but not relationship. I just know that people never change. It’s a simple fact. People are who they are and even if they try to change, 99.9% of the time they revert back to their original habits. According to psychotherapist Dr. Joseph Burgo, “most people don’t change; they just become more the way they already are.” He goes on to say that in order for change to occur, “it requires a lot of hard work and the results are never the sort of ideal transformation we’re looking for.” I completely agree with this.
Just like we are who we are and shouldn’t change that for anyone, we shouldn’t expect that of anyone either. People change for short periods of time to accommodate others but almost ALWAYS revert back to their original selves. People are who they are, they developed their habits and personality in early childhood and the way they are is a direct result of their life experiences. Something MAJOR has to occur in order to change that.
I gave second chances to people before and they always proved my theory, they were great in the beginning and then the old problems started creeping back. Even my ex husband “changed” how he was when we first were together, but then reverted to his anti-social low confidence self after we got married. The reason you broke up to begin with is still there. It happened, it’s real. We go back to people because we only remember the “good times” and seem to forget all the pain and heartache they caused us. But, going back quickly reminds us of why we left. It’s happened to me. Even now some ex’s still message me and even though they are charming and a part of me wants them back they always, inevitably, say or do something that reminds me why I don’t want them in my life.
Everyone is different, so is every experience, but personally, I know that, no matter what a man says or does, I may forgive and (sort of) forget BUT “We Are Never Ever Ever Getting Back Together” … Plain. Simple.
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva