I’ve had some discussions with friends and some of my followers about partners who make promises that they don’t keep. I mean, it certainly happens to me, which is why I wrote my post called “The Road To Hell Is Paved With Good Intentions” where I spoke about people who make promises, and perhaps mean them at the time, but never follow through. That inspired some great discussions about when a lot of these promises happen … in the bedroom, post sex … essentially, they are post orgasmic promises.
Why does this happen? I believe it has to do with all those “feel good hormones” that are released after sex, more specifically after orgasm. There are so many of these hormones and each plays a role in post orgasmic promises. In that state of euphoria a person just feels so satisfied and feels so strongly about the other person, even if they’re not in a relationship, that they just want to give them the world. You can read more about what they are and how they affect you in this article called Chemicals That Fuel Your Sex Life.
Women have used this to their advantage for thousands of years, the courtesans were experts at this. Essentially, these women would provide complete satisfaction, make these men of substance feel like kings and these men would give them anything they wanted. Is there anything wrong with this? No, not at all, it’s a business transaction of sorts. You make me feel good and I will give you the world. Well, assuming they keep their promises.
Unfortunately, on the most part, these men (or women) make promises they don’t keep. At that moment the “happy” person wants to give back and loves their partner and is in a state of ecstasy. They will promise them anything that would make them happy, and, they most likely mean it at that moment in time, however, when their high diminishes, they reconsider, and many times don’t follow through.
So should you ever trust a post orgasmic promise? I say no, never, take it with a grain of salt. Accept it for what it is, feel good hormones at play. Go back and revisit the promise after the fact. It will also show you a person’s integrity.
What to do? Have fun, do what feels good … but don’t make promises you can’t keep!
Have you ever been on either end of the post orgasmic promises spectrum?? I would love to hear about it
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva