Did you ever have dating deja vu? You know, putting someone on dating repeat. We go back for more every time … same person or same type of person over and over. Like our favorite song that we keep repeating, we do the same in dating. We all have a type … c’mon admit it. We all do. For me, I can’t help it, I like a strong alpha male who is assertive, successful and hard to get. What can I say, I like the challenge. Of course, it usually means a very frustrating and difficult road but in the end it’s oh so satisfying.
Feel Good Factor
We always gravitate to things we like, things that make us feel good. There are certain things about others, as well as objects, that trigger our affection towards them. The problem is that these triggers make us wear our rose colored glasses and we don’t see (or choose to ignore) the faults of these people or objects. For example, if we love ice cream (I love ice cream), we see it and we want it, we crave it, we can taste it in our mouths, we have to have it. At that moment in time, we forget how much fat is in it or how many calories it has. We just see the ice cream for the positive feelings it gives us. We do the same for things we don’t like, we will find any excuse not to go near it. For me, if the nicest, good on paper guy in the world wanted to go out with me and I just didn’t “feel it” then I would make an excuse. I know I do, like, oh he has a funny looking nose, or he doesn’t like ice cream. If it was a guy I really liked and wanted, then those things wouldn’t matter. So we naturally gravitate to things that make us feel good and give us a natural “high”.
Putting You On Dating Repeat – But WHY?
But, here is a question I have, if we naturally gravitate to the feel good people and foods, then, why do we keep putting people that hurt us and end up making us miserable on dating repeat? Is it that initial natural high? Is it the challenge? Is it because we feel we don’t deserve better? I’m not sure to be completely honest. Perhaps it can be equated to addictive behavior. We keep going back for that high even though we know it’s not good for us. The decision making process is altered and we only see the good and forget all the bad. I can speak for myself. There are certain people and things I keep gravitating towards, even though I know they are bad for me. I just love that momentary high I get from them. Is it worth the pain and suffering I get after, well, not sure about that, but it sure feels good at the time!!
Well, you know what? I like what I like … for better or for worse … what can I say … soooo let me put you on repeat …
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva