I’ve always maintained that you need to close one door before opening another. What does that mean? It means make sure that you tie up all loose ends before moving on to your next project. That’s true in life and that’s especially true when you’re dating. We don’t always end up in the best situations or the best relationships. Some end positively, but many don’t. That is why closure is so important. When there isn’t closure you end up with major baggage, you end up with bitterness, you end up with regret and you end up with an inability to move forward in a positive direction. Why is that? It’s because closure is essential in order to move on, especially when something significant happened to end the relationship.
The worst feeling in the world is having a relationship end and you’re blindsided by the whole thing. You didn’t see it coming, or, you sort of knew things were rocky, but the whole thing came as a surprise and you were never given an answer. You will always wonder why, what happened. As a result, you are filled with resentment, bitterness, baggage and sadness. More often than not, you did nothing wrong. It really was about them. If it was about you then you would know. They are just cowards who don’t want to face an uncomfortable conversation or situation. Do you really want to be with someone like that? I don’t.
So how do you move forward without getting the closure you want and deserve. You have to find a way. You need to realize it’s not about you. Letting go of the hurt and pain is the first step to making peace with what happened. In most cases if you haven’t gotten an answer then you’re not going to get one. It’s too much to expect integrity and honesty from everyone. You can only be responsible for your own self and your own actions. You need to shed that baggage and you need to trust again. It’s hard, trust me I know how hard it is. I am still struggling with letting go of a few situations myself. I find it hard, but, through forgiveness and knowing my self worth, I am moving forward. You need to do the same. Is closure important, I think if you can get it then a big yes! But, no closure? No problem. You can do it yourself.
I found this great article about how to find closure on your own. What they said is that “finding closure allows you to move into your future, unencumbered and optimistic.” How to do it? Well, they say to try these things:
- Take full responsibility for yourself.
- Grieve the loss.
- Gather your strengths.
- Make a plan for the immediate future.
- Create a ritual.
I’m going to give these a shot with the things I’m holding on to. They seem pretty reasonable, no? I want to move forward and trust again and maybe, just maybe, regain that hope in happily ever after that I’ve lost along the way.
How do you find closure when you haven’t gotten it from your ex? Do you feel closure is important? I would love your insights in the comments!
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva