Tag Archives: booty call

Can Your Booty Call Turn Into A Relationship?

17 May bootycall

Short answer? No. Long answer? It’s Complicated. How do you know? Well, you don’t. Sometimes it happens, but, more often than not, it doesn’t. Let’s be honest here, someone engaging in a booty call isn’t thinking relationship, they are thinking SEX … hot, passionate, rip your clothes off sex. They aren’t your friend (that’s a friends with benefits), they are someone who calls you up randomly to have sex, then, they leave. A while back I wrote a post called Booty Call-iquette When You’re Single and Dating and in it I gave the good, the bad and the ugly of booty calls in addition to some rules for booty calls should you have them. Some of these rules include engaging in the sexual act but none of the relationship stuff. For example, no cuddling and no sleeping over. Booty calls are all sex, nothing else. Unemotional sex. It’s physical pleasure. They should only randomly take place once in a while, not daily, not several times a week and not weekly. Is this a good or bad thing? Depends who you ask.

It’s All Fun And Games Until Someone Wants More

I get countless questions about booty calls. Additionally, many of the searches people do to come to my blog are related to this topic. Here are some of the main questions:

  • How do I turn my booty call into a relationship?
  • How do I know if I’m just a booty call?
  • How to keep my booty call from leaving me?
  • Is my booty call a relationship?
  • Does my booty call love me?
  • My booty call is jealous.
  • How do I make my booty call want more than just sex?
  • I think about my booty call all the time.

bootycallYikes! See a theme here? You guessed it … someone has developed feelings for their booty call and it has become emotional for them. These questions are not from one or two people, these are from A LOT of people. This is daily. This isn’t good and it concerns me. Booty calls should be unemotional, all about the fun, but, not everyone can have unemotional sex. Therefore, not everyone should engage in booty call behavior. I’ve said this before. If you know you’re in a vulnerable place then this activity isn’t for you. If you’re a “feeler” and not a “doer” then this isn’t for you. Be honest with yourself and protect yourself. Only YOU can protect you from being hurt. You know yourself and be true to you, especially when it comes to this. Otherwise, you will be left sad and lonely, and, worst of all, empty. Some people can engage in this behavior with absolutely no problems and are able to walk away without missing a beat. Most can’t. Let’s be honest.

Can Your Booty Call Turn Into A Relationship?

Well, like I said, anything is within the realm of possibility, but the odds are against you. Let me tell you why. If this person wanted a relationship with you they would have a relationship with you. They would want to see you outside of the bedroom. They would want to hang out and make things exclusive. They aren’t? Well, then chances are it’s because they are interested in only sex. If you really feel that there is something more there and you want to see where it goes, then, you initiate something. Ask them out to something different, something you both would enjoy that doesn’t start or end in sex. If they say yes and actually follow through with it, then you might be on to something. The key is balancing sexual and non-sexual activities, including social ones. Can you function as a “couple” without sex? Yes? Then a relationship might be developing. No? Then you will want to end this arrangement ASAP because you’re only going to get hurt because you want more and they obviously don’t.

Don’t invest your time and energy into someone who only wants you for sex and nothing more. I always say “if someone wants to be with you they will be”. Plain. Simple. Go out and find someone worthy of you and who will appreciate you for all the wonderful things you can bring into their lives. Find someone who fulfills you mind, body and soul. If you need to scratch an itch every once in a while then make sure there are no strings attached with your hook up and you don’t make it a habit and keep it short term. Let’s be honest, isn’t sex oh so much better when two people actually love each other and are committed? When there is an emotional connection that goes both ways? I think so, no, I KNOW so!

What do you think? Do you agree or disagree? Can booty calls turn into a relationship? Would love to hear your thoughts in the comments!

Your Sister in Dating Bliss,

Single Dating Diva

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Booty Call-iquette When You’re Single and Dating

2 Jun Booty Call

Booty CallBooty Call-iquette?  What’s that?  Well, first let’s define the infamous “Booty Call” … not everyone knows what it is.  A “Booty Call” is a gratuitous sexual encounter with someone who you don’t want a real relationship with.  Typically, these occur late at night and originate in a middle of the night call or text from an ex or a lover looking to get a piece of your booty for some casual sex  Most people have encountered this, whether they take the bait or not is not important, but when you’re single and dating these events occur quite often.  When you’re not in a relationship, and have needs, it works for a while, but there are some essential things to keep in mind when engaging in Booty Call behavior … yes, there is a Booty Call-iquette.

The Good

Booty Calls work great for short-term gratification.  Everybody has needs that need to be met without the complications that are associated with relationships.  A lot of very busy, successful people engage in Booty Call activities because they don’t have the time or the energy for anything else.  Some of them only have late night-time available because their days are so full.  So it works for those people.  It also has its benefits when you’re “in between” relationships.  Someone on the side fills the gap until you meet that special someone that you really want to invest in.

The Bad

Those who engage in Booty Call behavior know that it’s not all fun and games.  It’s risky casual sex behavior.  You need to make sure that you are safe.  Because there is no commitment between you, it’s even more important that you practice safe sex.  Another possible negative is that you will use these casual relationships as a crutch, you get too comfortable and don’t make a real effort to find a real relationship.

The Ugly

Feelings.  Plain and Simple.  It gets ugly when someone develops feelings and wants more.  I can’t stress enough how important it is to detach feelings from the sexual act in a Booty Call.  Women start making this problem when the men they are sleeping with start getting emotionally needy one night and they misunderstand that for wanting more.  Nope, they are needy, we all get needy, you just happen to be the easiest person at that moment in time to share with.  Cold, hard truth? Yes it is, live with it.  If someone WANTS to be in a relationship with you they WILL be in a relationship with you.  Plain.  Simple.  Don’t delude yourself.  Another important point is don’t get pregnant just to keep them around hoping they will want to stay with you, some women do this, all it will do is make them RESENT you.  One more ugly thing – jealousy.  You have no right to be jealous of your Booty Call’s other conquests, just like they have no right to be jealous of your conquests.

Some Tips

  • keep it dirty and all about the sex, this is a good place to try those risqué things (and people) you always wanted to
  • set the ground rules at the beginning
  • no cuddling or sleepover … it’s about the act, that’s it, that’s all
  • no need to engage in relationship maintenance like calling and hanging out (unless you’re Friends with Benefits)
  • these things should be random and not planned
  • practice safe sex always … STD’s aside, do you REALLY want to procreate with your Booty Call???
  • meeting for a quickie is completely acceptable, meeting for a coffee or dinner is not
  • I’ve read that keeping the eye contact to a minimum is essential because eye contact creates bonding
  • be discreet, don’t share the details of your arrangement with anyone
  • always respect each other and don’t treat them like a toy (in the bad sense of the term)
  • remember that it’s only a temporary short-term arrangement

I am a big promoter of doing whatever you like and having fun as long as no one gets hurt, physically AND emotionally.  Booty Calls aren’t for the faint of heart.  If you are the type to get emotionally attached quickly then don’t do it, you will only get hurt.   Ooh wait I have to go, I’m getting a text …

Your Sister in Dating Bliss,

Single Dating Diva

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