Oh those pesky things called manners and etiquette.  How important are they really?  I say moderately and depending on the situation.  For example at a big crazy family dinner, all manners are thrown out the window in favour of a relaxed atmosphere. On a date, particularly a first date, manners are essential.  I try my best to be polite, use the proper utensils, use my napkin accordingly, no elbows on the table, back straight, pleases and thank you’s, not use my telephone … those sorts of things.  This is a good guide to first date etiquette that I think is helpful First Date Etiquette: Do’s and Don’ts for Your First Date. So what has been my experience with men and manners?  Well here are a couple of stories for your amusement!

Mr. V was someone I met through a friend, no actually we met online, then found out we have many mutual friends.  So he owns a couple of businesses and is an extremely busy person.  We finally caught up with each other over a coffee.  At first glance, he seemed nice, ok looking, but really outgoing.  We had our coffee.  I quickly realized this guy had no class, no manners and no sense of etiquette.  It wasn’t horrible, but little things that mean a lot.  Let me explain.  He would burp under his breath every few moments, not under his hand, and wouldn’t even say excuse me.  He didn’t even throw out his garbage, just left it there.  When he spoke of his life he really showed himself, although a kind person, to have no clue how to act in public, no sense of class.  He seemed like the type of person who was never taught manners.  I would think it was because he moved out of his parents’ house quite young and focused on working hard rather than etiquette.  I applaud how far he’s gotten, but some people you just can’t teach how to act in public … it’s not worth it.

Mr. W was one of my most recent encounters.  We spoke for a bit before meeting up in person.  He had a good job, good income and enough money in the bank to buy a house and nice car in cash.  Good on paper, right?  Well when we met up, he reeked of cigarette smoke.  Barf.  Big turn off.  So we sat down and had a drink.  He picked the table and sat down, didn’t pull out my chair or wait for me to sit first.  He ordered for me … um, I didn’t say what I wanted! Well he did order me something I like, but still.  Then we proceeded to have our drinks and chat.  He ordered wings on our first date.  I found that lacking in judgement.  Who eats wings on their first date?  Messy.  Showed his lack of judgement.  He went on the whole time about how he helps his friends all the time.  His friend even called him during our date to ask for money.  He supposedly lends money out like it’s water.  Hmm admirable but not something I think is a good trait, especially if you want to build a life with someone.  He kept shifting in his chair, picking at his teeth, licking his fingers … the wings! the wings! who eats wings on a first date? who? tell me?  To top it all off he was condescending to the waitress.  He left her a big tip, but still.  When we went to say our goodbyes, he had the audacity to grab me and hug me and wanted a kiss.  WTF? And you are? Gross … No manners or etiquette present whatsoever!

So are manners important? OF COURSE!! Especially on a first date.  You are trying to make a good impression, no?  Then why behave badly?  I am very grateful that they showed me these traits at the beginning because both these gentlemen were good catches, or so they seemed.  So there, don’t judge someone until you’ve actually met them in person and gone on a one on one date.  Not that I’m judging, but … NEXT!!!!

Your Sister in Dating Bliss,

Single Dating Diva

Copyright Single Dating Diva