Testers versus Keepers in Dating

I recently had a conversation with someone about my dating woes, he had read my blogs and had surmised that my troubles stemmed from the fact that I was deemed a “tester” rather than a “keeper”. Initially, I was offended, but then, I thought, perhaps he was right. The thought had crossed my mind before. Perhaps he was right. I thought I always was a keeper … what changed?

Well, my serial dating for one. I had been going out with a lot of people … if you read my blog you know that I had gone through all the letters of the alphabet, plus others I didn’t mention. That’s at least 30 in less than a year. Mind you, some were “one date wonders” and others were longer term, but that is a big number. But is there a “right” number? And what makes someone a “keeper” and not a “tester”? Where do you fit in? Here are some ideas …

Testers versus Keepers in Dating

Tester

Easy to get, easy to keep, you don’t have to try very hard with them
Gives you everything you want right away
You can read them
Appears to just want to have fun
Not a person you bring home to mom
Not a person you introduce to your friends
See them when you feel like it
Not worth the effort
Booty Call, Not Relationship, Worthy

Keeper

Plays hard to get
Keeps you wondering
You can’t mess around
The type of person you are proud to introduce to your family and friends
You can’t wait until the next time you speak and see them
Making them happy makes you happy
Meets your needs

Upon reflection, yes, I’ve been a tester. So is there anything wrong with being a “tester”, not at all, if that’s where you want to be … after all isn’t dating a test? I was testing too, to find out what, and who, I really wanted, especially after my divorce. Aren’t you trying people on for size too? Sure you are … I am, I admit it. Some guys I dated were testers for me.

Sometimes, you don’t see each other the same, like a tester thinking of the other as a keeper. That’s happened to me. But really, I want to be a keeper with a guy who is a keeper as well and thinks I am a keeper … so, I will keep testing, but now that I know what I want, I won’t just go out there for the fun of it … or will I?

READERS: Do you think there are testers versus keepers in dating? What’s the difference?

Stirring the Dating Sauce,

Your Sister in Dating Bliss,

Single Dating Diva