Did you ever feel like your life has many ups and downs? Well, yes, of course everyone’s life has ups and downs. But, did you ever feel like you were on a constant roller coaster ride? With really high highs, very low lows, some spins thrown in for the extra thrill and perhaps a vertical drop just to make it exciting? Well that fits my love life to a “T” and I’m tired of it! I’m seriously emotionally exhausted. I know, and you know, that I like it interesting and don’t like things to be too normal, but seriously, is some stability too much to ask for? Really? Even when I think I’ve hit stability the roller coaster starts rolling on its own, like it’s on auto-pilot and can’t stop.
Well, I’ve been thinking, do we create our own roller coaster or is it life in general that “happens”? Is it beyond our control or are we guilty of inadvertently pushing the “go” button on said roller coaster? Hmm … well I think it’s a bit of both. Some situations really are out of our control and there’s nothing we can do about it. I totally believe that. However, we sometimes put ourselves in situations where we set ourselves up for failure. Example? Well, if you date someone you know has a bad reputation for using and abusing but you go out with them anyway thinking they won’t do that to you, or that it might be interesting to try. They use and abuse you and then you wallow in self-pity and wonder why you have such bad luck with dating. But, why did you put yourself in that situation to begin with knowing full well that the chances of you getting hurt are higher?
So how do we stop the roller coaster and drive on level ground? Well, there are many ways. Like I said, we can’t do anything about situations beyond our control like illness, bad weather, bad luck or unforeseen commitments for work/life. What we CAN do is to stop pushing the “go” button on the roller coaster by:
- not going out with people who have a bad track record
- watching out for people who are “all talk and no action”
- not “entertaining” the idea of dating someone who is taken but in the midst of breaking up (or so they say)
- not dating someone who doesn’t have all their life ducks in a row
- being true to yourself
- not being so desperate for a boyfriend/girlfriend that you lower your standards
- end something as soon as you see warning flags
- listen to your gut instinct
- keep booty calls and casual relationships where they are and don’t get attached
- don’t be a fool!!
Another thing to keep in mind for those of you who like to put people on roller coaster rides, just because someone doesn’t call you out on your inconsistencies, it doesn’t mean they’re not on to you. I, personally, have given people enough rope to hang themselves with … and hang they did!!! So don’t be “that” person … be aware of your actions and how people are affected by them!
These are but a few of my suggestions … I am going to start taking my own advice because I am tired of the emotional roller coaster ride I always seem to be on. Now … how can I permanently deactivate that “go” button? By being TITANIUM!!!!
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
Copyright Single Dating Diva
Coach Suzie 
Nice Blog….
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thanks! glad you like it 🙂
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Of course, the worst part of the (metaphorical) rollercoaster ride is the downs. And by removing the downs, you also deny yourself the ups. Sure, avoid the excessive highs and lows – but don’t get so scared of the ride that you end up on a flat monorail for the rest of your life!
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So very true … between us, I kind of like the roller coaster … I just don’t like the excessive highs and lows!
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I can relate. Sometimes though, although you know better – so much better – you just can’t help yourself from making bad decisions. I guess the key is to know why. And to be okay with your actions. No matter what the consequences.
Stupid roller coasters.
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You are very right … sometimes we know full well what we’re getting into but we do it anyway. Question is, as you said, why? Thanks for your comment!
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Girl, I am right there with you. I have been (and sometimes still feel I am) on that same rollercoaster. These are solid tips that any works for both males and females!
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Thanks so much! It is exhausting isn’t it?
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Hey, I guess I’m curious: would you fit your own criteria? I mean they make sense, but “life’s ducks in a row” is subjective, as is “someone who has a bad track record”. Don’t we all, in some ways, not have our ducks in a row and have a bad track record?
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Good point, but if someone is lazy and unemployed, they don’t have their ducks in a row … my expectation of someone 30+ is that they at least have a decent job. As for a bad track record, well, if you intentionally hurt other people then you don’t deserve to be with someone, if you just have bad luck in love that’s another story … so yes, subjective, but pretty clear to me. Everyone has skeletons in their closet, but some are scarier than others!
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Well, I think wanting someone employeed, with goals, and who isn’t a serial killer is probably fair 😉
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thank you … I think so too 🙂
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Yes, well said. I do think it’s a balance. Your fate is what you make, but it’s also about how you think and respond when the unexpected happens. I do think we all have the power to make better choices in our love lives. The trouble is, not enough people want to take the time to think about the decisions they make and then learn from their failures or wrong choices.
Neely
neelysteinberg.com
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Thanks Neely. You’re right … you really need to assess the choices you make and the consequences they bring.
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First of all…love the post! The roller coaster can be exhausting but without the lows the highs are meaningless. Even extreme lows can have a positive affect; they can force you to take action or make a positive change that you would have never been motivated to do if in a constant state of contentment. As much as the roller coaster can suck…without it, we would all be ignorant, bored tools cruising down life’s lazy river.
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You’re so right! We need the roller coasters to really experience life, it just gets exhausting when it’s constant.
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Awesome, thanks!
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Great post!
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definitely love those roller coasters!!! but seriously. people create drama when they mistake it for excitement or thrill, or they just get BORED. 🙂 great post!
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I agree there is a fine like between drama and excitement … Need to realize when we’re in a bad place and fix it! Thanks!
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I totally hear you about the roller coaster, but I kind of agree with Dirty in Public – sometimes the lows can be the catalyst for amazing, necessary changes. But when you hit one two many lows in a short period of time, it’s time to step off the ride.
Btw, I love the list you made! But I wonder about “not going out with people who have a bad track record”….I might add to that just “people who have a bad track record and no explanation or an explanation so implausible as to bring their sanity into question.” Sometimes good people have bad luck…
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Thanks Sassy! Yes, you’re right … some good people do have bad luck, but by bad track record I mean people who are know to “love em and leave em” or have a bad reputation in relationships.
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