There’s nothing I hate worse than the silent treatment. Me being a very vocal person who tells it like it is, I have a very very hard time with the silent treatment. I hate silence. For me not to talk to someone it has to be BIG. I usually will always communicate my annoyance at them. People always know where they stand with me. But is cutting someone off the same as the silent treatment? No. How about asking for some space? No it isn’t. So what is the silent treatment and why do people do it?
The silent treatment is when someone doesn’t like what you said or doesn’t want to respond and they don’t. Your endless efforts to get a response go ignored and it leaves you feeling helpless and frustrated. I personally find the silent treatment infuriating. It drives me crazy. You try to guess what they are thinking and why they are doing what they’re doing. You end up imagining every good and bad scenario in your head. It makes me just want to pull my hair out. It’s passive aggressive at its worst! It definitely coaxes the crazy person out of your otherwise sane existence.
So why do they do it? Just because they can. It’s all about controlling the situation and you. The person somehow felt that they needed to show their dominance and that they don’t want to deal with the conflict. It’s not worth it for them. This isn’t about someone asking for space to sort their thoughts out and comes back to discuss. This is a person who just shuts down and pretends you don’t exist anymore. In my opinion it’s selfish, controlling and abusive. Yes, you heard me right. It’s meant to punish you. It’s like a child kicking and screaming until they get their way. Well you need to say TOO BAD!
So how do you deal with the silent treatment? You need to get the person in talk mode again. Even if you send them a message saying that when they are ready to talk you would like to discuss the situation. If it’s related to something you said or did then your message should have an apology and ask what you can do to make it better. Ensure you tell them you value the relationship and would like to work things out. Then, hope for the best. If they value the relationship too they will come back, if they stop talking to you altogether, then, you know where you stand … don’t waste your time.
Nothing good can be gained by giving someone the silent treatment. If this is something you tend to do then you need to get out of that habit. In every relationship there is potential for conflict, but there is also potential for a lot of great things to emerge out of that conflict … you can grow as a couple and learn more about each other … but ONLY if you communicate and respect each other enough to open up. If you need some space ask for it, but don’t just stop talking to someone because you don’t like what they said. It’s simple really, be an adult, is that REALLY so hard?
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
Copyright Single Dating Diva