Does wallet size really matter when you’re dating?  My answer? Yes, it does.  Well it does to me.  Let me explain.  I’m at a point in my life when I’m established – good job, own my own home, own my own car, financially stable – and  I expect the same from the men I date.  That’s why I only date men with the same or more than me … not because I want their money, I have my own, I don’t need theirs, but because it’s important to me that a man be a man and if he’s 30+ years old and is still “discovering himself”, works a minimum wage job and lives in his parents’ basement then sorry, not interested.

When I was in my early 20’s and just starting out then it was completely different.  Those things didn’t really matter, but now, I’m in a different place. Money isn’t the only deciding factor whether or not to date someone for me, I’ve been turning down “mr. good on paper but no personality” for the past little while (he just won’t give up! he actually just sent me another message while I was typing this post asking me out to dinner anytime and anywhere I wanted to go … I said “thank you but no thanks” … again … sigh).  There has to be friendship, trust, respect, honesty, love, chemistry … so much more to a relationship.  But, whether or not a man is established is one of the early on deciding factors for me for whether or not I will even take the first step with him.

It really does matter.  Think about it, no one wants to date the guy who always “forgets” his wallet or a guy who needs to be supported.  No man wants a woman who bleeds him dry.  Each person has to be self-sufficient and standing on equal ground.  There is less conflict that way.  I’ve dated men from all over the financial spectrum (I’m an equal opportunity dater).  I have dated the uber rich guy with a private jet and I’ve dated the minimum wage cook.  I have realized that douchebaggery has no financial bounds.  I also learned something interesting, the richer the guy, the more frugal he was, especially after he’s done trying to impress you.  Just an observation! But really, men are men regardless of how full their wallet is.  A hard lesson I learned in my marriage was that when I started making more money than my ex-husband is when our problems started.  It made him feel less of a man.  I don’t want to be in a situation like that ever again.  I am a very ambitious and hard working person and I expect the same from my man.  I also expect him to make as much money as me or more.  It’s also an ethnic thing for me, being Middle Eastern.  I grew up with the outlook that men need to be men, the head of household, and they need to be good providers for their families or else they aren’t real men.  This outlook for me will never change, especially since I am primarily interested in Middle Eastern men.

The Virtues of the Prenuptial Agreement

My divorce taught me the virtues of the prenuptial agreement.  Yes, I want to be with someone who is established and has some cash to his name, but no, I don’t want his money.  If, or when, I ever enter another marriage, I will ask for a prenuptial agreement.  Even if we’re on equal footing.  We’ve both worked hard for what we have and I don’t want that to get in the way of a happy relationship or the reason for resentment or conflict.  Money is a tricky thing.  Don’t get me wrong, I am not planning for the demise of the relationship, but just being realistic that it just might not work out.  Maybe I’m jaded, but I was the last person who ever imagined I would ever in a million years get divorced and I did.  Shit happens.  You never know what life throws your way so you always have to protect yourself.  Plain. Simple. So what’s my conclusion?

I’m not saying I’m a gold digger … but I’m not messing with no broke!!

Your Sister in Dating Bliss,

Single Dating Diva

Copyright Single Dating Diva

Originally published on Singles Warehouse