Are men and women really that different? Are they looking for the same things or are they on totally different pages when it comes to an ideal partner? In my discussions with people I have realized that men and women really aren’t that different when it comes to what they really want and what they are really looking for in a partner. How so? Well, we all have certain needs that require fulfillment and that’s why we seek companionship. How those needs manifest and how they are fulfilled perhaps are different for each and every person, however, the needs are inherently the same. We all need to be loved, accepted, desired, respected, trusted and admired by our significant other. Although it isn’t always what we get because we settle for less or we “bend” on certain needs, our needs are the same regardless.
What Men and Women are REALLY Looking For in a Partner
I came across an article recently that cited a worldwide study about what people wanted in a potential partner. People were asked to pick the top 3 traits that were most important to them from a long list. The results were quite fascinating. Why? Well, it turns out men and women, as I mentioned earlier, really value similar things on the most part. They might not rank them the same way, but, generally, the same things appear on the list. In order to meet their needs, and to be satisfied and happy, they require certain qualities in their partner. What are these qualities?
Here is the list that I pulled from the article:
What I find most fascinating is that intelligence ranks quite high in addition to humor as well as honesty. Those are the traits and qualities that were similarly chosen for both men and women regardless of their sexual orientation. Not surprising, however, is that men rank looks much higher than women do, but still it’s not ranked the highest. Interestingly enough, money and social status do not rank in the top 10 for either. I totally thought it would for women. Traditionally, we think that men are looking for physical traits and women are a bunch of gold diggers … right? Wrong. Obviously, if we take this study as an example, that isn’t the case.
Men did rank age in the top 10 whereas women didn’t but it really didn’t rank that high comparatively. I would understand why that is, because in my own experience dating and keeping my ear to the ground, women seem to be more flexible with a man’s age whereas men like a woman who is younger and, in general, of “fertile” age. But, of course, it’s all relative and depends on what type of relationship people are seeking. Ranking on the women’s list and not on the men’s in ambition. Again, I totally get that. A man who is ambitious is a HUGE turn on. At least it is for me. I am very much attracted to a man who knows what he wants and goes for it. Even if he doesn’t succeed he keeps trying for something new. I get excited when I see someone excited about what they are doing. I would imagine most people feel the same as me. Keeping in mind, of course that all studies cannot be applied to each and every person, but it does give you an idea of what men and women are really looking for in a partner.
Intelligence, Humor and Honesty
What women and men are really looking for in a partner is someone they can have an intelligent conversation with (whatever that means for them), someone who is honest and someone who has a healthy sense of humor. Sounds pretty reasonable to me. I’ve spoken about these traits before several times. Any well rounded person has all these qualities. The important thing is that you find someone who is the right fit for you and not to settle for less than you deserve. Simple enough, isn’t it? Perhaps.
Do you agree with the list? Would rank things differently? I would love to hear about it in the comments!
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva