Haven’t we all wondered at some point if someone likes us “that” way, or, if they are just being friendly. If someone really does like you shouldn’t they tell you? How much stake should you put in someone’s “shyness”? One of my readers was having this very dilemma recently, here’s what I advised.
Does He Like Me or Is He Just Being Friendly?
Dear Single Dating Diva,
One of my male acquaintances has been showing me a little more interest than usual. He flirts with me all the time, he pays me more attention than anyone else when we are at parties, he sits next to me when he can, he gets me drinks when we’re out, he loves to talk to me and texts me often just to say hi, he talks good about me to everyone, he’s always so considerate of my needs and he even got me a gift on my birthday. All these things, but, he hasn’t made any effort to take things further. Sometimes I even notice him glancing at me and smiling. I’m so confused, does he like me or is he just being friendly? How do I know?
Sincerely,
Cordially Confused
Dear Cordially Confused,
Thank you for your question. I can see why you’re confused, you feel like you are getting mixed messages from this guy. I assume that you like him too (that’s why you’re asking). Well, I think that he definitely holds you in high regard, enjoys your company and, yes, he seems to like you as well. How much he likes you and if he has intentions towards you is still up for debate. Sometimes people really are just being friendly and we read too much into it. We see what we want to see and not what’s really there. Wishful thinking? Perhaps.
All the things that you have listed are good signs, but they can also be that he just thinks you are a great person and that he likes you as a friend. There’s only one way to find out if he likes you or if he’s just being friendly. Yes, you guessed it, just ask him. I know your heart just dropped to your ankles. It’s not an easy thing to do, I know, I’ve been there. So, I will give you an easier way than to outright ask him.
You need to show him your interest. You can do this by encouraging him. Return his glances and smiles (try the 5 second flirt). Text him to see how he is and wish him a good day. Be gracious and show that you accept and appreciate all the things he does for you and things he says positively in your regard. That should give him the encouragement, if he is interested, to do something about it.
If that doesn’t work, then, suggest a date that you think you both might enjoy. Just say (for example) “did you know so and so is playing at so and so bar and I know you like them, let’s go see them together?” or “you were mentioning that you like so and so food, there’s this new place that opened up in so and so I wanted to try it and it would be great if you joined me” or even “it’s such a beautiful night, would you like to join me for a walk?”. However you say it, do it in the way that is most comfortable for you.
This is the only way to find out. You might get the answer you want or perhaps you will be disappointed, either way you’ll know and will stop wondering. That is what matters most.
Hope this helps!
What do you think? What advice would you give? Do you think he likes her or just being friendly? What about you? Have you been in that situation? I would love to hear about it in the comments below!
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
Copyright Single Dating Diva
Coach Suzie 
He likes her. Guys don’t want to be friends with girls initially. That is so rarely their first intention. He probably thinks she is not into him or is scared of rejection. Perhaps if she reciprocated he would take the hint? But more than likely she is going to have to say something. Seems like this one is going to need slap in the face of “HELLO… YES I am interested”.
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Thanks! You’re right, she just has to put it out there and see what he says.
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Hello Lady.. For sure, speak up and suggest doing something together. He is probably looking for a clue that you really like him enough to say “YES…. lets get together”. I don’t know how many times I have thought a lady would like to spent some time together, and I ask, and then was shot down… OR WORSE… they just ignored my request. I’m amazed at times how people use that “ignore method” to not man up, or woman up, and say yes or no. So after a while, us guys just tire of trying to read body language or be a mind reader 🙂 Luckily, recent a lady that I had shared a few walking Meetups with, and had talked with several times, said to me…. “wow.. we sure do a lot of the same stuff, we should get together some time and do it together” You can imagine what I said, Yes, I agree!
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Thanks Dan! Certainly it’s tough to gauge someone’s interest on friendliness alone, so it’s always nice to get those queues!
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Yes Suzie, and it’s always great to get those verbal queues that are open ended – you can move on with the relationship journey, or just enjoy the time you are spending together at that moment.
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Great post Suzie! Loved reading this one.
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Thanks 😉 It was a great question!
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I have a question like the one above. I have been hanging out with a crush of mine at least once a week. This last time when he came over, we played video games and chatted, play fought and such. Well, the thing is, he caught me off guard when he kissed my cheek. I had asked him what he meant when he did that and all he told me is that the kiss was that he had fun and said that I was sweet. I don’t know how to react usually to most things, so with this one, I simply hid just below his shoulder. What do you think he means by that? Is he interested?
Sincerely,
Confused by Simplicity.
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Hi there, thanks for your question. I think the kiss was just in the heat of the moment … I wouldn’t read too much into it. He even told you that, so believe him. This kiss didn’t mean that he’s interested. Sorry.
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Hi… I have this friend we both had a great time together, but suddenly he just broke with me saying we can’t be friends anymore . An year after he again came back saying I want to your friend . But He was like caring but he doesn’t want me to know that, he is so caring towards me. It’s really confusing. What he actually want from me? Is he interested in me?
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I ran into a guy just like this and posted a comment on SDD’s other article, “signs he’s interested”, about the outcome. Same situation – hyperflirtatious guy, girl thinks he likes her, girl innocently reciprocates, guy yanks the rug out from under her “I’m just flirting, sorry you misread me haha”.
I responded ok, then platonic friends we shall be, jerkdouche.
Now he appears to have “fallen in love” with me. I won’t be tricked and I won’t be moved. I treat him like dirt now because I figure you should know if you like someone. If that person likes you and takes the risk to ask you out first, and you go SIKE!!! and announce you were only flirting Cos Fun, that’s mean and you should pay the consequences. He’s pining and sad but will never get me. You get one chance with me and I figure until a man announces in bold type HELLO I WANT TO DATE YOU, he’s playing you and you should keep your guard up. Why risk it?
Basically, dump the risk back on them. You want me? Put that in writing. Until then, feck off.
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