Did someone leave you high and dry and you’re distraught? I know the feeling. It sucks. Especially when they peace out when you need them most in your life. I had that happen to me recently. But people are like that and you know what I say? Let them walk away. Don’t sit there feeling sorry for yourself. Don’t hold a grudge. Don’t let their selfishness or whatever it is that made them leave place an unnecessary burden on you. Obviously they aren’t worth it and you know that. Not everyone is a good person and you deserve good people in your life. But you knew that already!
Let Them Walk Away
If someone doesn’t want to be in your life why on earth would you still want them there. We have this nasty habit of remembering the good times and conveniently forgetting the bad. Why is that? We miss all the good things, of course – you know when they made us feel good and gave us what we needed emotionally and physically. However, you also need to keep in mind all the times they made you feel less than loved and inadequate. For example, when they completely did nothing for your birthday except send you a text. WTF? How about being hot and cold with you? What about using you to show off to their loser friends? Well, you know the deal. Keeping a balanced head will help you do what needs to be done. Anger, resentment and anxiety will only hurt you and make you sick so why go there? It’s NOT worth it!! They’re NOT worth it!!
One of the hardest things in the world to do is to watch someone walk away. It’s not only an emotional blow, it’s a blow to the ego. No one wants to be rejected. Whatever the reason for the split you have to believe it was for the best. It really always is. Remember, you won’t see it right away but hindsight is 20/20 right? Just trust that everything happens for the right reason and you are always where you need to be when you need to be there, even if you don’t understand it right away. Just let them walk away, you’ll really be glad you did.
YOU Have to Peace Out
You need to be strong. Repeat after me “I will not define myself by the acceptance or rejection of someone else”. You need to be selfish here and take care of you. No one can do that better than you. Every relationship has a natural end, sometimes it’s right away and sometimes it’s over the long term, just trust that it was for the best. Don’t turn crazy or stalker. They’re not worth it. Just pick up the pieces and move on. You don’t have to meet other people right away, but at least be open to it.
Distance yourself from the situation. Let yourself grieve, there’s nothing wrong with it, but then you have pick up the pieces and get back to your normal life. No one is worth your grief or worth getting sick over. I say screw them! You’re much better than that, aren’t you? YOU have to peace out my friends … the best revenge is you living a happy, fulfilling life WITHOUT them. Yes, you heard me right. Let them regret walking away.
NO Second Chances
I am an avid believer of NO second chances. You left once then keep walking. I might continue a friendship with an ex if necessary for whatever reason, but NO second chances. I will never take anyone back. Why? Well, the reason they left will call them back one day. Things may change for a short while, but really they never do change. Those ugly little things you’ve hidden in the closet come creeping back one way or another, so why bother entering into a vicious cycle? Just move on without them and you’ll be better for it (and NO SEX!!). They see that you’re this great person without them and want you back? GOOD! That’s the sweetest revenge!! You know what you do?? Accept what happened, move on and …
WALK AWAY and PEACE OUT! Plain. Simple.
Have you had a recent breakup? Does it take you a while to get over it? Do you ever take back an ex? I would love to hear about it in the comments!
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
Copyright Single Dating Diva
Coach Suzie 
Amen, sister. Break up and move on.
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That’s RIGHT!
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Reblogged this on 58 Day Dreams.
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So much of what you have written resonates with me. My ex boyfriend left me for another woman who all the while was being a two faced liar and trying to show me how much of a dear friend she is to me.
This guy broke up with me last year and then begged me to take him back and I took him back because I was so much in love with him. Then again this year after coming back from a trip where we both had a great time, he just suddenly broke all contacts with me. His phone was switched off, he was away from all social media. I just waited and waited for him to come back and talk because I was too worried that something had happened to him and I had no way to find out (long distance relationship). He never gave me any reason and then suddenly a common friend told me that he is now with someone else.
I am still dealing with all the betrayal and lying and trying to come to terms with it. I cannot believe that it ended this way. 😦
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Thanks for your comment and for sharing your story. I’m sorry you had such a bad experience. The only thing you can do is learn from it. Love is rarely enough to keep a relationship going, especially a long distance one. I hope you heal soon and find someone who truly deserves you.
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I agree if someone doesn’t want you you shouldn’t try and hang on to them, but I’m not sure I would say I’d never give anyone a second chance. It’d depend on circumstance, never say never!
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Thanks for the comment. Giving someone a second chance is a personal choice, but you have to keep in mind that the reason you left will always be there and whatever happened is bound to happen again. Successful second chances are quite rare, so why beat a dead horse?
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Not all reasons are indicative there was something wrong with the relationship though. Sometimes it was people were wrong and foolish. Sometimes it was a wrong match. Sometimes it was distance. You can’t generalize all of them by saying there was a reason. Sometimes there was absolutely nothing wrong with the people involved but the circumstances weren’t right for it. And if the circumstances weren’t right, don’t make the mistake I did by becoming mad. I lost a decent friend because of it. So yes, be kind, forgive, and move on but don’t burn bridges unless you have to.
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I agree completely! In fact, I think that if more women stopped giving guys 2nd chances, then guys would stop ruining their 1st chance! Most guys operate with the belief that they will get at least one chance to mess up. I’m serious. With that mindset, it makes it difficult for women to get a guy to conform when he knows he can spend time in the dog house until she gets over it. Let people know upfront that you will bounce if they disrespect you and mean it!
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It was a long distance relationship ..i was to go home early next yr..but since December all i have known is pain amd tears.i found out a lot..he was flirting,with women.he even invited someone he didn’t know into his house to go stay with him as she had found a job and needed a place to stick for a month..i still forgave him..i apologized even when i didn’t do him any wrong..he called me stupi more than once..he knew that i loved him 120%..(he told someone )..then one Monday evening he just decides to switch off his phone…and when he opened..he couldn’t pick my calls nor even check them..aam still hurting bbut i know i gave it 100%..i loved him.but i.hope he remembers me one day..am moving on..am not going to follow my hearr but i will follow what my mind tells me which is moving on.. ..
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IM GOING THROUGH THIS RIGHT NOW, AND YES IT HURTS BECAUSE THIS GUY WAS SURE HE WANTED TO BE WITH ME. I JUST HAD THIS GUT FEELING ABOUT EVERYTHING BECAUSE IT WAS TO GOOD TO BE TRUE! IM SO GLAD THAT I KEPT MY GUARDS UP BUT AT THE SAME TIME MY HOPES WERE UP TOO! I KNEW THIS WAS GOING TO HAPPEN BUT I JUST DIDNT KNOW WHEN! NOW HE’S WITH SOMEONE AS IF HE NEVER KNEW ME! TO ME IT SEEMS AS THOUGH HE HAD OR HAS ISSUES WITH NOT WANTING TO BE ALONE, BUT I FEEL SORRY FOR THE WOMAN WHO’S ENTERTAINING HIM NOW!!
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Hello there, I am going through this this very second. Me googling this is the evidence, lol. we were in a live in situation and i had called him up from work, and he was all like mwah mwah, love you. i come back home all his shit was gone and he had left me with a note. he has blocked my number his parents wont tell me where he is, even though i know he moved in with them. he hasn’t met anyone else, but i really feel like shit. he hasn’t given me any reasons as to why has he walked away. the letter said it wasn’t working out. if he was that upset why didn’t he show it? it will be 4 weeks tommorrow. and i am a wreck. i am pretending to be strong and i kow few months down the line ill b fine, but right now i am in pain, anger and tears are all i have. i live in a foreign country and i have no friends or family, but he is a native and he has moved in with his family, his friend told me that. i have not felt this crushed in my life. i feel this emptiness and this feeling of being unfulfilled and this break up not being mutual, it was his decision. this is not fair. i need help.
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Sorry you’re in pain Salome. It’s difficult when we don’t get closure and all we have is questions. The only solution is to let yourself grieve for a little then stand up, dust yourself off and keep walking. You are more than what that relationship was. Just look forward and you will see that you were much better off. For now surround yourself with loved ones and do things that make you happy. It will get better but it’s up to you. Take care.
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oh Salome,soooo sorry to hear what you are going through…there is nothing tougher than being hit off guard by something like this.
something similar happened to me 7 months ago…i really thought we were fine…our relationship wasn’t perfect,but it felt real..atleast to ME!!apperantly!!
we went from candle lid dinner ,with strawberries and cream one day to NOTHING the next day!
oh that feeling is horrible..I just don’t know how men can do that..How can they sleep knowing that they are messing with someone else’s mind…I got an excuse…but it sounded made up..but they..i couldn’t ask someone to stay who early didn’t wanna be there…
I still miss him so much…its really tough..!every now and then i still cry..but I hope by the grace of God my heart can be mended…and I can just forget about this ..
The sad part is,while I’m home crying,he’s probably out there making another woman smile…
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It’s not just guys that walk away….I was totally head over heels with my girlfriend of two years…one week before we are headed to Hawaii she says she wants out….by taking her to Hawaii she would feel obligated to stay in the relationship….said she didn’t have time for me any longer….no warning nothing….I haven’t heard from her in two months….one day best friends and lovers and the next day…”proof” gone! I was devastated and am just now getting my senses again….I don’t understand but it’s the worst feeling ever…like what did I do or didn’t…your so right she doesn’t deserve me!
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HI Frank.whatsoever reason it was that she left you i dont think she is worth feeling bad about.Just think a girl who didnt bother to give you a reason before leaving how sensitive she is to other s feelings.Else she is just too confused in her life that she eventually is confusing you too.This girl isnt worth wasting time on and i feel she just doesnt take any guy seriously and people with this atittude are never happy in the long run so just try diverting your mind and i hope you soon get over her 🙂
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I’m going through the same situation also. My situation is that I was in a long-distance relationship (4 years duration) and he started complaining of an inability to focus or concentrate. I was worried about his health and he withdrew more and more. And then….nothing. He stopped talking to me, no texts, no emails. It’s taken me three months to accept that it’s over. My whole vision for my future has been upended (I was supposed to move to live with him when I retired). I think it’s so gutless of him to NOT at least tell me he wants to end the relationship, and why. Guys, if you are going to walk away, don’t be a coward about it. If you want to leave a woman, tell her WHY. Don’t be afraid that you will “make her feel bad.” I’m feeling worse because I’m miserable and I don’t know WHY. At least if he had manned up and told me, I would know WHY it happened. As it is I blame myself but I don’t know what to change to avoid repeating my mistake.
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Hi, I am having a difficult time trying to get past the devastation of him pulling away. We haven’t had a very long relationship, just a few months but we have an amazing connection. We have the same values we shared our parenting skills the same way. We shared so many laughs together. And when we finally became physical it was truly an easel amazing. He is the first person I’ve dated in three years since my divorce.We met through a dating website. We texted for a while and then we met. We texted back-and-forth daily. Our last time spent together was a weekend at my house. It was his idea to spend the entire weekend together. Halfway through them again I noticed he seemed a little distant. I asked him if there was anything wrong and he said no. Once he left ,the next day I asked him if I had done or said something to offend him. He again said no. He said he was feeling a little bit overwhelmed and that we are moving very quickly. I really can leave it since I followed his lead with everything. After a few days I texted him just saying hello and he didn’t answer. And that really upset me. So I lashed out and most hurtful. My feelings were just so hurt that he wouldn’t discuss with me what he was feeling. After a few days he texted me again and said that he didn’t want to end things he just needed space and that he wasn’t expecting them at the reaction that I gave him. I apologized many times just explaining that I was hurt and he wouldn’t talk to me. The last time I heardfrom him was about a week ago. I have no intention of texting him or calling him again. Since this is happened I’ve done so much reading and I wish that I had just given him his space. I hope that I didn’t ruin things by trying to discuss them with him. I find it so hard to believe that everything that he said to me isn’t true. He told me that he loved me, thinks I’m smart, thinks I’m beautiful. Has never had the same connection with anyone other than me. I have relayed to the rig and over and over and over again trying to figure out what I could’ve done or said to cause this. And why text me to say that you didn’t really want to end things and then disappear again? And if he does contact me how should I handle it? I really don’t want to ruin any chances we have to have a successful relationship.
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Ugh I need this article so much right now. I have been in a ldr for a while, talking to this guy for more than 2 years we got closer and closer. We were discussing me moving there and he was very open always told me when he was upset of mad at me so I knew what was going on instead of guessing and I liked it. I did the same and we got even closer. A few months ago he had to move so no internet connection. He could get wifi at some places on his phone (no plan) and he did almost every day so we talked even if it was just for a few minutes, just saying love you and miss you and wish I could be online more, stuff like that.
At some point I tried to change the relationship status on facebook at that point because we were getting serious and he didn’t mind when I asked so why not, but he couldn’t accept for some reason,
He said it wasn’t working on his phone and I got this feeling but pushed it away because why would he lie?
I was just afraid he was like everyone else, and he wasn’t.. right?
Then he didn’t come online for a couple of weeks and I got worried and missed him so much. I tried to just wait and logged into this game we played together.. he was online. It was like he put a knife through my heart. When I told him and asked him why he didn’t contact me since I miss him and like to know what’s going on in his life he said sorry and he left his phone at home, was online on someone else’s computer and didn’t want to login to facebook or anywhere else because of that. I get that, but go get your phone, or don’t forget it, if you miss someone and love someone you want to at least let that person know right?
We got into a fight the day after when he was online again, he said me asking these questions pushed him away he then went offline. The next day he was online again and I said sorry. He said he accepted my apology but didn’t want to talk to anyone because he was in a bad mood. I got that and told him that and didn’t talk to him anymore the rest of the day like he wanted.
The day after he was online again and when I said hey he went offline. He hasn’t talked to me since and yesterday all of a sudden he blocked me on facebook.
It hurts so much. I just told me parents about him, I bought a phone to stay in touch with him when he was way (a smartphone I didn’t have yet) so that whenever he was online I could talk to him even if it was the middle of the night. I told him I was about to move and tried to figure out what to do but he told me that moving there wasn’t an option right now (a lot going on). Maybe it’s him realizing it is hard to make it work and it probably never will and he just wanted to be alone, maybe he got sick of me, maybe it’s something else I just wish he would tell me. I would understand and I deserve to know instead of thinking it’s something I did and even if it is, I deserve to know!
I’ve been through similar things before and the guys that never told me and just disappeared are still in my head, wondering why they did what they did and making me insecure, thinking it was me. I only have one ex who was honest with me about the reason he wanted to break up, ofcourse it was hard but I could move on and it was a lot easier and faster in the end.
Why do guys do this? They even get mad when you tell them you are afraid they will because ‘they are not like anyone else they would never hurt me’. They do the exact same thing when they stop caring. Why is it so hard to treat someone with respect, it’s not like I cheated or did anything horrible to deserve this. They make it hard to trust anyone else in the future because all I can think is ‘they all say the same thing so how do I know who I can trust?’
I don’t think me asking all the questions I did pushed him away, I mean, he already didn’t bother to contact me then and last time we spoke before that he was very ‘polite’, so guess that’s just an excuse to do what he is doing right now. I wish I could just switch off my feelings and didn’t tell my parents because it hurts that they care more than he does right now and didn’t buy that stupid phone I don’t use for anything else. It seems that everytime I think everything is ok and I am telling people in my life, I jinx it. It happens every time, probaby just a coincidence but it’s true.
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So… you sound very young. Don’t get me wrong, that doesn’t invalidate your feelings. I just got done feeling that way, too and I”m almost 60! LOL – on ME!! Here’s the deal: The guy just wasn’t into you like you were into him. Or guys as the case may be. You think you’re jinxed, but I’m fairly sure you’re not. You just keep falling for the same type of guy – emotionally un-available. While they tell you they’re in “love” and want you to move there, they really aren’t ready for a serious relationship. As the time gets closer, they pull further away, making excuses. And yes, excuses are what they are. Forgot their cell phone? Please! Young people have them glued to their hands!! Did you ever actually meet this person? Face to face? Or was all this relationship in the virtual mode? If you met them, and were intimate with them, then I’d say they got what they wanted and moved on. Some guys are into the thrill of the chase. Once caught, they’re done with you. Shallow, callous, you bet. But all too true. If you didn’t meet and the relationship was ” virtual” I’d say they were too immature to make a commitment. The thought of a ‘real’ relationship frightened them so much that they had to end it before it began. Either way, you are way better off. Start looking for only REAL relationships. NOT virtual. Stop having TEXT conversations. If you’re going to date, insist that you meet (in a public place where it’s safe) for a REAL date. If you start to feel a phony vibe, LISTEN to your gut. If he sounds too good to be true, he probably is. And quit being so accommodating. Sit down and take the time to outline what YOU want. What YOUR goals are. How are you going to let someone know if YOU don’t know? You have to ask for what you want. The men don’t seem to have any problem, now do they? And don’t compromise your core beliefs. If someone wants more than you’re willing to give, say NO. Someone once said, “If you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything”. Figure out what you stand for. Stick to it.
There are NICE guys out there who are sincere. Finding them takes time and patience. You might want to re-think where you’re looking. Start by telling friends you’re interested. See if they know anyone to introduce you to. Try Meet Up’s where you have a common interest. If you attend, go to church and join a single’s group. You’ll find someone. Be patient. You’re worth it. Good luck to you.
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Hey Catharina! I personally had an experience with almost same type of guy as you did and I strongly believe that a few men just do this for fun .They are selfish,rude and they dont even consider how others feel .If it makes you feel any better just trust me when i say that they will never be happy .I can strongly tell that you are a nice girl and you must have faith in yourself and trust me you are better off without the guy.He didnt deserve you in any way and if you have had a string of boyfriends who fell in the same category then i would say you need to take a break from dating and analyse why you always fall for such guys and the next time see to it that you dont get really close to any guy without a few background checks.I did the same and trust me Im way happier now, so just relax sit back and do some analysis about the type of guys you always fall for and try making some changes in your approach.
I hope this helps 🙂
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I loved reading this! Recently It became clear that my boyfriend of two years wanted out of the relationship. He wanted a break for a bit, came back a few days later saying he made the biggest mistake of his life. Fast forward to two months later, he was “confused, didn’t know, can’t decide” about if he wanted to be with me again. At that point it seemed clear he needed to be alone to “figure himself out” so I broke up with him (I didn’t want to). He has not tried to talk to me in the last 6 weeks and it completely breaks my heart. I thought we would be married in the next couple of years and that he was the one.
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This helped a lot!! Made me smile. I was MARRIED for 17 years and my good for nothing husband started getting comfortable with my neighbor. This neighbor is my sons girlfriend mother/my grand daughter other grand mother!! I checked the cell bill found he was calling her late nights and talking for long periods of time. I put him out and the same weekend he left, his friends let them move into his rundown home with them! So now the four of them live together as one big happy family. He tells me he is at peace, but he still cares for my well being and I’m still his wife. At one point I would have melted and tried to make it work AGAIN!!!, but like the article said why would I let him back to start the vicious cycle all over again. Good Ridden!! He needs someone to fulfill his happiness and at some point so will I, but for now I’m finding my own happiness within me.
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I am going through something similar. I meet the love of my life 20 years ago, i was 17 he was 20, We were in love and wanted to get married, we had everything till my dad told me that my boyfriend didn’t want to get married, i was crushed. We argue after that and he decided he need it to go away, I never told him I knew he didn’t wanted to marry him. So he left and I was broken. 20 years passed and i found him again, ww both have our lives, he lives in italy i live in Texas, i message him on whatsup and we talked for ours, i found out that my father was the one who said no to us getting married not him,. Well making this story short, i decide to brake up with my partner and he was going to brake his relationship as well since i was the love of his life. Saturday my life took a turn for the worse, my, mother was sick, took her to the hospital and they told me she may have cancer, i was upset., angry, sad, confused, him and i spoke and he said he would call me sunday. Sunday came and he say he couldn’t call me because his gf was home, i got so mad, i became someone i am not, i told him to stay with her and never call me again, he ignore me message so i send him a few other ones more angry and upset. Later that evening he blocked my from everthing, face, whatsup, phone, skype. I was devastated. I change my number and message him one last time asking for forgiveness and to take me back, he never replay and he block me this morning. I have begged him to take me back , to forgive me since sunday with no luck. Today i spoke to a friend and they told me the same thing, no matter how bad you acted and how many bad things ypu said and did, he should have put himself in your shoes, i wasn’t thinking cleary i was depressed about my mom and not having him with me. I think he should have a least told me to stop calling, that it was over but he didn’t. Everyone said that he will call back eventually but i dont tnink i want him too, he broke my heart and i don’t even know if i want him back, now i know he never loved me. Why would you do that to someone you love?? I am sad and confused and angry but i know i will get out of this.
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This is the perfect article for me. My ex bf of a year was pushing and pulling me running hot and cold. He was nice to me when he needed something and when things went wrong in his life, I got the cold shoulder. He used to say the nice things of he missed me and loved me and then out of no where he said I used to miss u and love you. I made the mistake of begging and pleading and regret that now. He had a rough childhood and has been divorced. Now he says i pushed him away as a friend and avoids me at all costs besides work since we work together. It’s hard to just let him walk away when I do love him and thought he was my person. I’m very sad now
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You have no idea how strong i felt after reading this. I am going through the same kinda situation. My boyfriend wanted to go back to his EX coz he didn’t get that happiness or peace with me anymore LOL its kinda funny though coz i never let anything hurt him or did anything to make him unhappy. For me he was and his happiness was the first priority. I did everything to make him happy and he didn’t leave a single moment to not make my life hell. He was the perfect guy for me in every way, i never loved anyone the way i loved him, he was the guy i have always dreamed about and thats why maybe it hurts so much to be left out. He didn’t leave me yet but he’s been constantly pushing me away saying that its for my own good. I dont know what to do, i am sacred to face the sadness, scared to be alone. But i hope and pray i can move on from him and i also know 2 years down the line when i look back, i’ll tell my self, i have done the right thing leaving him. But at the end we are humans and we have heart and feelings, i’m just searching for the strength to accept the bitter truth and forget him. it’s hard, actually VERY VERY hard to just let him walk away when I loved him and admire him in every way and thought he was the one for me. But i will try.
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My boyfriend broke up with me today and I made him walk home. Is that mean?
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I am sorry to hear of your breakup. I am on week 5 of mine and it is so devastating. Not at all mean to let him walk home, he chose to break up the relationship so he knew the consequences. I hope your healing goes well as being the dumpee and being rejected is one of the most awful things to happen and for us human beings to feel.
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My most recent ex would never compliment me. On anything ever…he would say the reason he was happy we were together was because I was his. When we were breaking up I said all I ever wanted was for you to tell me I was pretty sometimes…he said well now maybe you can go find that somewhere else…
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