“Hitting it and Quitting it” seems to be the “in” thing lately. It’s like people celebrate the fact that they have “no consequence” sex. It seems that if you do that then you’re given a pat on the back by your friends, especially if you’re a man. But, casual sex DOES have consequences, sometimes these are physical (like Sexually Transmitted Infections/Disease or Pregnancy) and most times emotional and mental. This led me to wonder, can casual sex be bad for you?
According to a recent study “it’s not so much whether you have casual sex that impacts your mental health, it’s why you do it.” When I read that it made me think. How harmful IS casual sex for your mental health? I know I have written a lot about how some people who are less emotional can handle casual sex, while others, who can’t separate emotion from sex, have a harder time with it. It’s a tough call. I mean sex is a choice, right? Well it should be obviously. Sex should be between two consenting responsible adults who know full well what they are doing. So taking this into consideration, why are so many people having such a hard time with distinguishing their feelings from the actual act?
Do You Hit It and Quit It? Why Casual Sex Might Be Bad For You.
I’ve read recently that “when we do things for the “right” reasons, our well-being flourishes. When we do those exact same things for the “wrong” reasons, our well-being suffers.” That makes sense. When we’re confident about the choices we make then we are happy with the outcomes. The author goes on to give examples of what right and wrong reasons for having casual sex are, they are:
Right Reasons for Casual Sex
- to have fun
- to experiment and learn something new
- believing that it’s an important experience
Wrong Reasons for Casual Sex
- to feel better about yourself
- to please someone else or to fit in
- to get something material or emotional revenge
- in hopes of turning casual sex into a relationship
- coerced or tricked into it
Your motivations to “hook up” and have casual sex mean a lot. That’s obvious. I think the reasons outlined above pretty much sum up what I’ve seen and experienced. In my article “Can Your Booty Call Turn Into a Relationship?” I talk about these issues too. So many people have casual sex for the WRONG reasons and that leads to them become emotionally distressed. It’s really become a bigger problem than you might think. People think that having casual sex makes you virile and manly for men and powerful and independent for women but that’s just not true. It’s an illusion. An illusion that’s doing more harm than good.
Casual Sex is a Choice – Make the Right One
You need to ask yourself WHY you’re having sex with this person and if you’re OK if they just “hit it and quit it”. If you can say yes and you’re just really truly in it for the fun and physical reasons then go for it (maybe even read my Booty Call-iquette for some tips!). If you’re hoping that this sexual act will give you a confidence boost or that it will make the other person want you more then FORGET IT, don’t do it. Save yourself the mental anguish and regret. You know I’m right. We’ve all been in those situations. The hurt and disappointment isn’t worth it. Date smart and always have safe sex regardless of what you do.
What do you think? Do you think casual sex can be bad for you or should the experience be encouraged?
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
Copyright Single Dating Diva