Someone said to me recently that people are only as faithful as their options. It made think, could that be true? At what point does cheating become “out of your hands”? Don’t we have free will? Don’t we have choices? Could temptation be that, well, tempting, that it’s beyond your control? I’ve always maintained that cheating is a choice. I’ve said it before in a previous post “The Changing Face of Infidelity, Cheating and Adultery” where I write that “it’s easier to cheat than to take responsibility for your relationship. The majority of people who cheat are regular people like you and me that are faced with a choice.” So whatever reason people cheat it’s a choice, so why make that choice and, more importantly, why put yourself in situations where you are faced with constant irresistible temptation?
Cheating: Only as Faithful as Your Options?
So let’s say that you have a job that pretty much guarantees you are faced with temptation more often than not. What do you do?
For example, you might travel a lot for work. This travel ensures that you end up at the hotel bar a couple times a week where others like you hang out. Let’s say you’re lonely and you’ve been fighting with your significant other lately. How about you’re just really horny and you know that you won’t see your partner for another week? What if you’re a guy who works in a nightclub? You’re surrounded by drunk girls dressed in next to nothing and you’ve been drinking too? What if they’re hitting on you and it makes you feel good and wanted and attractive? Perhaps you’ve bought them some drinks. Then what? All those hot drunk women want YOU … it won’t hurt to take one home would it? I mean why not. It’s not like your partner is going to find out. What if you worked as a photographer or the fashion industry and you’re surrounded by attractive people everyday. What do you do then? Can you make the case that the temptation was too strong and “the devil made you do it”? I mean it was just meaningless sex, wasn’t it? Well … not meaningless if you brought home a disease of some sort or guaranteed yourself a stalker or stage 5 clinger!!
So is it true that you’re only as faithful as your options? The key word here is OPTIONS. Options means that there is a choice. You are choosing to act or not to act. But can temptations be too much to resist sometimes? I think yes they can be. Does it make you innocent if you choose to cheat? No it doesn’t. If you are surrounded by temptations and you don’t have the will power to resist then instead of cheating you should remove yourself from the temptation. That is, if your relationship means anything to you. If you’re tempted because you are lacking something in your relationship then fix it or leave the relationship. Don’t cheat.
Cheating: The Illusion of Choice
A lot of the options that you’re surrounded with are not actually options. It’s just like online dating. You have the illusion of being popular and attractive and virile … but … in reality, you’re not. Most people online are just wasting time or bored or even in relationships. Social media also makes us think we’re more popular than we really are but when it comes down to it, do we really have that much choice in partners? Are there REALLY that many fish in the sea? If you are surrounded by lots of choice at a nightclub for example, does it really mean you have a choice? What if you’re just the creepy old guy to these young attractive women? Is that person at the hotel bar really into you or is it just the alcohol and loneliness speaking? That person who’s flirting with you isn’t necessarily interested in you … some people just like to flirt for attention. Our ego plays tricks on our mind sometimes giving us the illusion of choice when really there isn’t a viable option other than the one that you’ve got. I’m just being honest and realistic, not mean. If you’ve got something good at home, don’t ruin it for a moment’s pleasure. The grass ISN’T greener on the other side, it’s greener where you water it!
Some people just can’t be in relationships and that’s completely OK. They like being surrounded by attractive people and like going home with someone different every night. That’s fine as long as they don’t have a partner. People like that should always remain single. People like that shouldn’t be in relationships, but it’s precisely those types of people who do enter into relationships and hurt others deeply. I’ve seen and heard so much that I couldn’t fit the stories into one book. If you meet someone you really like but you know they either have a reputation for cheating, or, they are in a profession that puts them in the “high cheating risk” category then think twice about entering into the relationship. Just be aware and date smart because you don’t want to end up with whatever they picked up during one of their trysts. It’s a harsh reality but reality nonetheless.
There is never a good excuse for cheating, even if you’re constantly surrounded by temptation. If you can’t be faithful then don’t be in a relationship and don’t hurt others by your actions (whether it’s intentional or not). Plain. Simple.
Readers, do you think it’s true that you’re only as faithful as your options? I would love your input in the comments below!
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
Copyright Single Dating Diva