Casual sex is quite the hot topic these days. It seems that everyone is doing it and it’s “all good”. The impression out there is that it’s an ideal option for singles while they’re waiting for the one, or, if they don’t want to be in relationships. I mean what’s not to like? Right? You get all the pleasure without all the responsibility. You get to have SEX with someone you find attractive … I mean who doesn’t like to have sex? Seriously, hands up, who doesn’t like sex? Yup, that’s what I thought. Sex is fun, sex is pleasurable, sex is, well, sex. Now, what about those pesky feelings? What if one day your casual sex encounters don’t feel so casual after all? What then? Well, then in that case all the fun and games becomes not so much fun anymore. That’s why I say, casual sex is all fun and games until someone gets hurt.
Casual Sex: All Fun and Games Until Someone Gets a Broken Heart
I still hear more and more from people who are getting emotionally attached to their casual sex partners. I’m starting to feel like a broken record. What am I seeing most? Well, people who are confused about blurred relationship lines with ambiguous “relationships” and casual sex encounters. What’s a girl to do? Well, I’ve written a lot about how someone who can’t handle it shouldn’t have casual sex. What does it mean “not handling it”? It means that if you can’t have sex unemotionally, have it be about the physical act and the act alone, then you shouldn’t be having no strings attached casual sex.
Can your booty call turn into a relationship? Not usually, no. I’m not saying don’t do it, but if you do it then know what you’re getting into. Like with everything else you do in life, you have to weigh the pros and cons of what you’re doing to assess whether it’s the right course of action for you. Casual sex should be no exception to this. So what are the pros and cons of having casual sex? Well, I recently read an article about this very subject. So are there more pros or cons? Well, first you need to know what some of the main motivators for having casual sex are.
Some motivators for having casual sex:
- There are no strings attached – This can be a pro or con, depending how you look at it. Although you say it’s “no strings” there certainly are invisible strings for some people. You have to be careful and clear about intentions and expectations. Emotional attachments DO form and you need to be aware of where you’re at. Know your compass.
- Reduced stress and responsibility that comes with relationships – Not every relationship is a good one, nor are they fulfilling. In a casual sex situation one doesn’t have to think about all the relationship obligations. So I guess this could be pro.
- Exploring sexual fantasies – If you have always wanted to try something (or someone) new, casual sex situations provide you with an opportunity to experiment. This would be a pro.
- No depth necessary – This would be a con if you are someone who needs to develop a connection with someone to have good, fulfilling, sexual encounters. Sometimes once the lust is taken care of, you feel an emptiness inside which brings feelings of regret, sometimes even feelings of being used and loneliness.
- Ego boost – Pro? Con? Let’s face it, it feels good to be desired by others, but that’s not a good reason to have sex with someone. Think of it, some people will say or do anything to get in your pants. Find your ego boost somewhere else and if the casual sex encounter gives you the overflow, then great, but it shouldn’t be the only thing dictating your self confidence or worth.
Well, it really can be a great experience if done right and entered into safely. Whatever you decide to do, just remember that safe sex is being safe physically, mentally and emotionally. Don’t do something you’ll later regret. This should be a given, but when you are having sex with a lot of different people simultaneously you are putting yourself at risk of contracting a disease. Make sure to practice safe sex at all times. I know it’s hard in the heat of the moment, but if you’re sleeping with multiple partners, and, if they are sleeping with multiple partners, then you need to choose health and safety above all else.
So are there more pros or cons to casual sex? Well, that’s really up to you. Knowing what you’re getting into is important. If you do decide that your casual sex encounter is more pro than con, then be prepared to accept the full responsibility of it. Ask yourself, if you never hear from them again are you OK with that? I mean really, honestly OK with that? If you’re not, then don’t do it. Casual sex really is all fun and games until someone gets a broken heart – and, more often than not, sorry to say, someone does get a broken heart. Don’t be that someone.
Readers, what are your thoughts about casual sex? Are there more pros or cons? What should participants in casual sex have to consider before doing it? Are there other motivators for having casual sex? I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments!
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
Copyright Single Dating Diva