The thing about online dating is that, well, it’s online. That means that people write whatever they want and you have to believe what they tell you. Sounds easy, right? Not so much. Problem is that people by nature aren’t honest. Regardless of their intentions, good or bad, they want to paint themselves in the most desirable light possible which is why they lie on their online dating profiles. We’ve all fallen for someone’s scheming at one point or another, usually because we want to believe them, but some people are just THAT GOOD at lying. What are the most common online dating profile lies? Read on!
Top 5 Online Dating Profile Lies
When you’re online dating, you need to take everything you read and hear with a “grain of salt”. Don’t be overly suspicious, but don’t believe everything you hear either. Just because they say something in their profile doesn’t mean it’s true. Let them demonstrate rather than tell you.
1. Looking for a Relationship
A lot of people will SAY they are looking for a relationship when in fact they really aren’t. They say that so that they won’t be weeded out. A lot of men will do this and end up being a relationship tease instead. I asked many men why they say they are looking for a relationship when they’re not and they said that that’s the only way they can get to date the quality women. Well, being deceptive ISN’T the answer and people end up getting hurt! Be honest and upfront about your intentions ALWAYS.
2. Outdated Picture
Many people put pictures of themselves in their online dating profile of when they were younger or thinner or more attractive. People change, they age, they gain weight, they modify their look, whatever, and that’s what they should be showing – their true self. Be honest about how you look online! The thing is, you will have to MEET the person you’re talking to and chances are you won’t win them over with your winning personality! Did you think they wouldn’t notice? The biggest pet peeve people have with online dating is that people don’t look like their pictures. It’s such an issue that men will actually make a point to tell me they’re surprised and relieved I look like my pic. That’s how bad it is. C’mon people! Take some good pics and post your REAL self because that’s the one you have to show to your prospective date!!
3. Relationship Status
There are those online dating who SAY they’re single but really aren’t. They are attached in one way or another. Often they will tell you once you start chatting, but many aren’t so upfront about it. Married? In a relationship? Living with your partner? Then you SHOULDN’T be online dating! Even if you’re bored and looking for something to pass the time, DON’T waste other people’s time. If you are really looking to get out of your relationship then clean up your mess before getting someone else involved. For those of you that fall for an attached man or woman, don’t get sucked into their drama, regardless of how great they are (or seem to be). Most often times you’re just a passing distraction and they will go back to their life or find a new person to conquer.
4. Body Type
Almost everyone lies about their body type. Whether it’s their height or weight or physique, they lie. Too skinny? Too fat? Not thin enough? Got a little extra where you shouldn’t? Not athletic enough? Well, you want to show your best self right? The thing is, you need to show your TRUE self! That’s why I discourage putting professional pictures up and pictures that don’t show who you are. In my top do’s and don’ts of online dating profiles, I mention that your picture is your logo and you need to have a good one. I suggest three pictures – one head shot, one body shot (that shows your true body type) and one picture demonstrating you doing something you love. Good and honest pictures go a long way to getting you the partner who will want you for you! If you’ve got a little extra or not enough, it’s OK, be honest about it so that the person wanting to meet you knows what they’re getting and wants you anyway!
5. Financial & Employment Status
People are typically looking for someone with some stability. Lying about what you do and what you have is misrepresenting yourself. Like those who are “in between jobs” or unemployed or perhaps a not so sexy job title. Another problem is the person who brags about what they have. All they talk about is how much money is in their bank account and what they’ve accomplished. No one needs to hear that, I mean what are you trying to prove exactly? Again, you need to represent yourself in an honest way – even if you’re living in your parents’ basement! People who lie about these things get nowhere fast.
Your takeaway is BE HONEST! Don’t lie in your online dating profile and don’t believe everything you read!
READERS: What are some of the online dating lies that you’ve encountered? Share your stories in the comments below!
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
Copyright Single Dating Diva
Coach Suzie 
I still don’t get why people lie on their dating profiles. In the end when and if you meet them and date them are you going to continue the lie…and for how long. One question is what is not lying – like if you don’t reveal everything until you are face to face.
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Thanks Jason! Big things that would make them not choose you, such as relationship status, employment status, having kids, illness or disability, in my opinion, should be disclosed upfront. Otherwise the rest is about getting to know the person.
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Exactly….Here is what you should know but there is a lot more for you to find out.
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To me some things don’t bother me but others do. I don’t care if a guy is slightly heavier or shorter (it’s never taller and thinner)or a few things like that. It’s what I call the lifestyle lies, like age (had so many lie by 10 years or so), having kids etc. Basically if someone is lying because otherwise they would be out of my range then it’s a problem. I don’t care if he’s short or chubby (not obese) or his hair is a different cut than his photo. To give an example, I had listed on my profile average weight but had gained weight. I wasn’t obese but heavier than my photo. A guy wanted to meet me so I sent him photos I had taken and told him that I was losing the weight but didn’t put that because I assumed I wasn’t going to meet anyone until I lost the weight. He thanked me for being honest and we still met. He told me that my weight gain wasn’t even noticeable. When we met he thanked me for being honest about everything because most women he met weren’t. It never went beyond that (we both agreed there was nothing there) but being honest was important.
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I’ve always come across these but also age and parenthood status. Several men claimed to be in my age range (I am 44 so 10 years either way is fine)but most ended up much older than that, like in their 60’s and 70’s. They admitted they thought he would be so wonderful I’d overlook it. Same thing with kids, my profile clearly stated I was not interested in dating dads, even grown children yet they responded. They would then get mad I rejected on this and of course how dare I reject them. Many had excuses too, like their ex was a witch so they “deserved” a childless woman, or they never saw the kids (and many admitted they didn’t even support the kids)so they were an exception. Actually, no that made them worse.
When I met several men they thanked me for being honest. They came across many lies but the biggest one they dealt with was weight.I dealt with that one too, but usually caught it before I met them. Same thing with the married men, but even then a few fooled me.
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Thanks Dawn! Transparency is quite important, especially when it’s something as important as age and children. I agree. I try and avoid men with kids as well and you’re right they do get offended when they find out why I won’t date them. Great points!
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What really makes me mad about the dads is when they don’t tell me until later on. While I avoid dads on dating sites, men who are honest about this are in a different league. I’ve had them lie after chatting awhile and even a few told me after we met. Same thing with liars on age. At least I found out early, I know someone who dated someone a few months only to find out he was older and had kids. I guess why I am leery of online dating.
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The #1 lie is that people write out their profiles to explain who they WANT to be, not who they really are.
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Thanks “30’s Dater”! Very well put! Often times, they think they are this amazing catch when in reality they aren’t. Best to be honest with ourselves AND others.
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The men that usually have on their profiles that they are looking for a serious relationship, always are the ones just wanting casual sex. Have to agree about the photo and body shape. Too many times I have seen “fit/average/athletic” as the body type and the photo shows a man with 4 chins and a pot belly. Not only is the photo not a current one, sometimes it’s not even them! Married men tend to use a fake photo so they don’t get found out. Alot lie about their age, make themselves younger. And all too often, they don’t actually read what is written on your profile. Then there are the profiles that complain they don’t want “gold diggers” but in the same sentence, state how much wealth they have.
But I have been lucky that all the men that I have met, did look like their photos. I have a current one on mine.
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Oh yes the whole average when they aren’t. My loser con artist ex (Didn’t meet him online)is obese at 300+ pounds at 5’8 yet lists himself as average. His reason is he is delusional. Many people are. Another ex (didn’t meet him online either) lists no golddiggers on his profile yet he attracts them. Why? Could be the fact that he is chubby, doesn’t make much, ugly, and lives with his mother yet thinks at 47 he can attract younger (his profile states 18-30). So some younger woman thinks she can use him then dump him. Don’t feel sorry for him, he dumped me to pursue younger so he gets what he deserves.
Honestly online dating has made me cynical. Most men claim they want a serious relationship but my experience online tells me otherwise. It seems like most want sex and those who want relationships are delusional (like want younger). Or they are weird freaks. Normal guys don’t seem to be in abundance online. This of course hurts decent men online because of losers.
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So very true!
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Thanks Datingflops! Sad isn’t it that these things happen. People need to be more authentic and online dating certainly lacks authenticity.
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“C’mon people! Take some good pics and post your REAL self because that’s the one you have to show to your prospective date!!”
I don’t disagree with you on this point. Like you, I think transparency is critical, but if we’re going to take positions of authority on this matter I believe we should lead by example. Nowhere on your site do you mention your age, your last name, or post recent photos of yourself. These things inform our experiences and insights. I understand why you might wish to keep your site out of Google searches and what not, as it can impact our personal and professional relationships, but by doing so you’re actually doing the same thing you accuse dishonest daters of doing. There’s an inconsistency in your words and actions.
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Thank you for your comment. Yes, you’re absolutely right. Transparency when dating and forming relationships is very important. However, this site is a venue for discussing the current dating climate, not for me to meet my match. Take Care, Suzie.
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I’ve seen lists of lies so many times and not once has anyone listed #1!
Thank you!!!!
By far, the dating intent has been one of the biggest lies and sadly, I became a victim to it last year.
I met a guy whose status said he was looking for a relationship, wanted to settle down, was tired of the rat race blah blah blah…he ended up being full of shit. In fact, most other things were lies as well, especially the part about him being emotionally stable and available.
But guess what the trend is I’m finding now- profiles that weren’t even created by these men, but a friend. Guys are giving me the “my buddy just told me about the site and set me up”. Which means most if not all of what we’re reading is basically guess work by someone else.
Ugh.
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I’ve seen that too. If a guy is serious enough he should write his profile.
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Thanks for your comment! It is getting increasingly harder to weed out authenticity because online people feel they can say what they want how they want without realizing there’s actually another person on the other end potentially getting hurt.
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OMG I experienced each and every one of these. WOAH. I’m waiting to see what kind of product disruption begins to happen… because Match, EHarmony, OKCupid and so many others have become saturated with liars. Crazy. I’m sure someone will come up with something. Wouldn’t a lie detector app be good? I remember showing up to a date and the guy was OLD. Like 20 years older than his photo and older than what he said was his age….
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I think the problem is online is used by everyone so the liars seem to overtake it. I did online when it was new (I didn’t even have a computer, I was approached to put on up for free) and a few times and my last time was the worst.
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Thanks Lisa Jey! What do these people think? That you won’t find out their age? Seriously? Haha imagine a lie detector app?
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These are some common lies in the online dating world. But there are more and you should keep a look out on some signs. Some are just too good to be true. Predators are good in luring you into thinking that they are real when in fact they are really the opposite.
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Thanks Jay. I agree … there are many who are “too good to be true” and tell you what you want to hear to get something out of you. You feel so lucky that THEY are talking to you and end up in trouble one way or another. A lot of catfish function this way.
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Great list!! You nailed it! I’ve actually had all of these happen to me. The worst ones are when they don’t look like their picture and lie about relationship status. I had one guy who posted pictures that had to be about 20 yrs old! Another guy said he was getting divorced but it wasn’t final…come to find out he was still living with his wife and 2 teenage children (h left that out of his profile too) and while he claims that it was for financial reasons, it was all way too sneaky and weird for me.
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Thanks BSG! I find a lot of guys are not “fully separated” or “fully divorced” on there as well. If they still live with their ex that’s a problem for me. Clean up your mess and then you’re free to meet others. As long as they aren’t “fully free” there is that chance of them going back.
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GREAT LIST! There is also the one that says that they are a recreational drinker or smoker and that turns out to be false! Plus, maybe they say they love dogs but they don’t. Or the one that says they are active but haven’t exercised a day in their lives. Likes rock n roll and can’t name a Metallica song. I can go on and on! Great post!
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There are so many people out there hiding who they really are, I agree Melany. Some of them actually believe what they say too haha
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Oh yes that out dated picture is a huge lie many times and I ended a communication over it one time because the guy was at least 20 years older than the online pic and looked nothing like the pic. That “looking for a relationship” is too. I heard and seen it all! Great insight!
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Thanks Tinzley! It’s all about weeding out the inauthentic to get to the good stuff!
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All the ladies within 20 plus miles of me on POF and OKC are pics of women who are guys trying to embed their images. Bs
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I did meet a guy on POF who was decent (a teacher) but yeah it was mostly a cesspool. However we never went past one date because there wasn’t much interest on either of our parts. OKC was okay but never met anyone. Did have a guy who found my Facebook page and got upset I didn’t add him because he found it with Googling my photo.
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You do have to be careful, I agree Dawn. I’ve have people who creep me online and try and add me on FB too … not cool!
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When I rejected him on Facebook he got weird which creeped me out even more. Told him I met someone offline (partial truth since I did meet someone offline but so far we are just friends). When I told him that he started feeling sorry for himself. That was even creepier.
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It’s hard to find authentic people online, I agree Bill. You just have to use your judgment and weed through the crap to get to the good stuff. Best of luck!
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I forgot to mention this but I once walked out of a date. The guy lied big time, he claimed to be 6 feet tall, muscular (according to him he was an athlete), blonde and drove a car. Yet why did a 5’4 at best 300+ pound man with grey hair walk off the bus? I forgot how I knew it was him but I took off. Sorry but that is inexcusable.
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