So if a guy met two girls, one who was a really great girl, nice, giving, caring, generous and the other a bitch who gave him a hard time, was demanding and busted his balls which would he choose? Ask him and he’d say “definitely the nice girl”, but in all reality that’s not the case. We hear a lot about the problem “nice guys” have getting a women, but you know what? Nice girls have the same problem. Do men love bitches? Many say that on the most part they do. They might hate them but they really want them, desire them, crave them. They use the nice girl and like the way she treats them, but will drop her the moment he finds something more challenging. Would you agree? Me, I would argue that people in general don’t want the person who makes their lives easier. Why not? Well, I’m no psychologist but I would guess it has to be the thrill of the chase … now, that doesn’t mean that once the chase is over they want to keep what they caught, but in general the bitch wins, or does she?
Do Men Love Bitches? The Nice Girl Dilemma.
You’ve all heard of the book “Why Men Love Bitches“, for the longest time I called bullshit … I gave men more credit. In the book, the author talks about playing games … different stages for different things, different rules to follow. Although she makes some great points about demanding respect, living life independent of the guy and limiting what bad behavior you tolerate, I always thought she missed the mark about how nice doesn’t get you what you want. Now, I’ve changed my tune somewhat. Why? Well, she has a point about being your own woman and not dependent on the guy for your happiness. The happier single I am, the better partner I become. Why? Well, I am more confident and less insecure. I don’t need a partner I want them to make my life better, not because I just don’t want to be alone. Let me tell you that’s not easy, especially if you really like someone, but it’s necessary. Being happily single and independent is the best thing you could ever do for yourself. Even if you’re in a relationship, they can’t be your everything. Don’t make that mistake. So is that being a bitch? Well, not so much. It’s just being true to you and keeping your self-respect.
We all have seen guys drop nice girls for the bitch … but that says more about the guy than the girl. A mature guy with a good head on his shoulders will appreciate someone for who they are. I don’t know about you, but I want a man not a boy who gets easily distracted by shiny objects. Personally, I’ve always been a giver … someone who is there for all people in my life, friends, family, anyone who needs me … including the men in my life. I’m also not needy and give everyone in my life lots of space. Thing is, should anyone change just to catch a man? I say no way. We are who we are, and personally, I will continue to be a generous giver in my life regardless of my relationship status. It doesn’t mean I’m a doormat, nor does it mean I am naive, I always demand respect and integrity, but it does mean that I’m spreading positivity and lots of love … and isn’t that what this negative world is missing? I know my worth and the right people will appreciate that and treasure it! I will continue to be true to me and keep lighting everyone else’s candles. So what’s my conclusion? Do men love bitches? I would say men love something they have to work for … make it too easy and they will lose interest. But don’t play hard to get, be hard to forget and BE TRUE TO YOU. Plain. Simple.
READERS: What do you think? Let’s be honest, do men love bitches? Are nice girls missing out?
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
Copyright Single Dating Diva
Coach Suzie 
Why does there have to be nice girl/bitch girl. I don’t want someone who is going to just rollover but I also don’t want someone who will always be a challenge. I want a nice sweet girl who will challenge me at times either mentally or physically.
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I generally hate self help books (I despise the Rules and He’s Just Not That Into You) but this one has some good advice. I believe the part about being independent and not dropping anything just to be with a guy. If you do that, the guy sees he can use you. This is a lesson I learned the hard way. Having said that, I don’t believe in playing games.
As for do guys like nasty women, I believe they do. My neighbor was dating a family friend when an ex came into the picture. He even admitted his ex was psycho yet what does he do? Breaks up with the family friend to date the nutcase. Now he’s moving away with her. I’ve seen this often. I’ve often seen men I reject (reject because I don’t want them)pursue me then get mad because I never date them. I told them I had no interest but they believed I would and was playing a game. I’m a kind and caring person but men don’t like that, I just wish I found out sooner. I’m not clingy, I’m independent but am good to people. Years ago I was dating this guy and for Christmas I splurged, bought him a sweater, a funny t shirt and several CDs. In return he gave me junk he got at a flea market. Hurt my feelings badly. The guys who are nice to me are never ones I’m attracted to (usually homely and obese) and the ones I like are mean to me. No idea why, I’ve given up trying to figure out why.
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This was confirmed to me by a man yesterday. Men don’t want a doormat/slave, They want someone to chase and have something to work for. Give in too easily and they lose interest. Women do need to respect themselves and not allow men to treat them badly. So I don’t think men want a “bitch” per se, but more likely a strong woman that knows what she wants. And will go ahead and achieve it.
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I find the key aspect of this comes down to the “confidence” factor. If we’re just dealing with nice/bitch girl labels, the nice girls tend to be the ones who exude the most insecurity. And it is that insecurity and lack of confidence that ends up causing problems that tend to eat away at the relationship. A strong Nice Girl with loads of confidence is like that rare collectors item, you snatch that up and hold onto it! Guys would take that every day over the Bitch Girl. I know I would!
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Btches may be cool for short term relationships, but I would definitely not want one long term. A woman who everyone hates just isn’t appealing to me. I know a ton of people and I don’t have any known enemies. For me to be with someone no one likes is just too much of a struggle. I don’t want to constantly find myself stuck between my woman (who is probably wrong anyway if she’s a btch) and someone who I’m cool with. I’d take a b*tch on a date now and then, but I couldn’t keep her long term. Too stressful.
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I love this line: “I would say men love something they have to work for … make it too easy and they will lose interest. But don’t play hard to get, be hard to forget and BE TRUE TO YOU. Plain. Simple.” I think what men are truly looking for is something in the middle. They don’t want the “nice girl” who is a doormat, but they also don’t want the bitch who can’t behave around people and everyone hates. They want something in between: a strong, independant woman who won’t put up wit their BS, but will be their partner.
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But uh… Being independent doesn’t mean you have to be a bitch. The books makes a good point about being better single makes you better as a couple. But if you’re a bitch when you’re single you’re still a bitch when your’e a couple. In other words, being strong, independent and confident doesn’t mean you have to be a bitch. Just IMO.
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