Suzie

What Makes You “Dateable”? Start Here…

what-makes-you-dateable

There’s a lot of competition out there in the dating world, no one can deny that. That is why you have to be able to stand out from the crowd as something special. Just because you think you’re a “catch” doesn’t mean that you are (especially if no one wants to catch you!). The dating world has changed tremendously over the years, especially in the recent digital age. Whereas before you were competing with the people in your immediate area or social circle, now you’re competing with everyone in your city or even country. This is why you need a competitive edge. Sound like too much trouble? Well, even if it is too much trouble it’s very much worth it in the end. Trust me. Putting in some extra effort now will help make sure that your dating life has positive outcomes. So it’s time for a reality check and some honest advice. Each one of you has something great to offer … Now sell it! Here’s how to determine what makes you “dateable”.

What Makes You “Dateable”? Start Here…

In order to be “dateable”, you need some key things in your arsenal. You can’t just put yourself “out there” and hope for the best. Remember what I always say, you are the product and you need to market that product effectively in order to get buyers. Where would big brands be without good marketing? Same goes for you. That gorgeous smile and a clean shirt will not take you very far. You really do need much more, including some great sales pitches. Not too sure where to start? Here are some simple ways to help you win at self-promotion in the modern dating world!

WhyYou?

  • The first thing I always get my clients to do is to write down the top 5 reasons someone would want to date them – these have to be unique to you and not generic things like “good sense of humor” or “well educated” … more like “my love of adventure leads me to go on unique trips like climbing Kilimanjaro” or “my passion for the arts has led me to take up painting”.
  • You have to know what makes you different and stand out from the crowd then SELL IT!
  • I like to say “don’t play hard to get but be hard to forget” – be unique and show your date or potential dates why they should choose YOU and NOT someone else (saying you have a good sense of humor just doesn’t cut it anymore, sorry).
  • When you know what makes you special you’re better able to market yourself as an ideal partner and it gives you more self-assurance.
  • This doesn’t mean being conceited about it, but it definitely means being confident and confidence is extremely important in dating, passive personalities don’t do as well in modern dating – remember that CONFIDENCE IS SEXY!

Image Is Everything!

  • Never leave the house looking like you just got out of bed (put some effort in how you look because you never know who you’ll meet).
  • If you’re online dating, have a great online dating profile picture, here are some pro tips:
    • Have good quality picture… This means they’re not grainy or fuzzy or cut off, they are a clear representation of who you are.
    • Your picture is your logo and because most people are visual by nature it’s your picture that will draw them in (or scare them off).
    • Make sure your picture is clear, recent (not older than a year or two maximum)and eye catching.
    • I always advise my clients that they should have three pictures – one good headshot, one full body shot and one picture of them doing something they enjoy.
    • When a person meets you for a date, they should immediately be able to recognize you just from your picture.
  • Wear clothes that suit you and fit properly.
  • Don’t wear clothes that are messy, dirty, too revealing or have holes (I shouldn’t even have to tell you this).
  • Wear location appropriate clothing (gym clothes don’t belong in a restaurant), a good outfit for a casual date would be a dress shirt/well-fitted pants/dress shoes for men & nice top/nice pants or skirt/dress/nice boots or shoes for women.
  • Have good personal hygiene and grooming practices always – be clean and smell good, don’t overdo it on the makeup or scents (again I shouldn’t have to tell you this).
  • Be aware of your non-verbal behavior – eye contact is very important, be careful about your facial expressions, tone of voice, gestures and body language (posture, how you walk). Body language speaks volumes!
  • Always smile and leave the stink face at home (when you look friendly you give off an approachable and positive energy).

Be The Person You Want To Date

  • Have an attitude of gratitude (when you’re grateful for what you DO have, you suddenly end up getting more of what you want & life doesn’t seem so bad after all). Daily gratitude brings love your way, it really really does.
  • Be happily single (when you’re happily single you give off a confident, positive vibe which attracts people like magnets).
  • Do good (volunteering and charity work is VERY attractive to others).
  • Leave your baggage at home (no one wants to help you carry it or hear about it).
  • Be a good conversationalist (keep up to date on current issues in the world and your city, always have topics ready).
  • Be a good listener (this includes being engaging with active listening and asking appropriate questions).
  • Be passionate about something (when someone sees you’re passionate about something they get excited too & it’s very attractive).
  • Be assertive (go for what you want, no one wants to be in relationships with passive people).
  • Be active & social (when people see that you’ve got a good social network and active in your life they want to be a part of that).
  • Be friendly to everyone around you (this includes service staff, saying please and thank you to everyone, don’t be an ass, etc).

So there you have it … some ways to make yourself more “dateable”. Making that extra effort to promote yourself effectively goes a REALLY long way!! Don’t miss out on a great dating opportunity because you didn’t market yourself adequately or put your best foot forward!

READERS: What makes you “dateable” or stand out from the crowd? Give it some thought and share it in the comments below!

Your Sister in Dating Bliss,

Single Dating Diva

Copyright Single Dating Diva

 

9 comments

  1. I did all of that and still got nothing. I thought being pretty and educated would be a plus but they seem to be negatives. I’ve come to the conclusion I am undateable. If someone who smiles often, has terrific hygiene (or I think so, never had complaints)and is nice can’t be dateable, who really is? Ironically I seemed to attract guys who were slobs, creeps, etc.

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    • Thanks Dawn. Being dateable doesn’t mean you’ll automatically attract the ideal partner but it just means that you are putting out the best version of yourself. Regardless of what you do it never guarantees you’ll always catch the right person, it just makes you the right person and puts you one step further to finding a match. There could be other factors why you are attracting the wrong people.

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      • I think part of it is my age. I want a guy around my age without kids and they are either not online or seeking someone not. Instead I seem to attract single dads (my absolute dealbreaker), older men, creepy, etc.

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        • Hi Dawn I’ve seen your posts before that mention you don’t date single dads, but I don’t recall why. I’m a single dad(not taking any offense) and I know some women don’t want the “baby mama drama” but In my case and probably some other guys are like this to, My dates don’t meet my kids at all. I never have play dates because I need to keep those worlds separate until the time comes when I don’t need to anymore. To date that time has not come.
          Also as a member of the over 40 crowd, you should give a few of us a second look. I’m just saying. (;->

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          • Nope, I will never date single dads and never will. I have dated a few single dads and all had severe baggage, like the ex was in the picture, money problems, drama and so much more. Not to mention I am a devout Catholic and a single dad without an annulment would mean I not only couldn’t marry in the church but would have to give up my activities. Nope, not worth it and I personally have a problem with being divorced or never married when there are small kids except in very small minorities. I don’t want to be a stepmom and this includes to adult kids and the only way I would even consider it is if he was widowed or adopted as a single dad. Otherwise, I would prefer being alone. This is a dealbreaker that I won’t break.Like I said, been there, done that and heck no.

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          • Another thing Leon. My comments aren’t directed at you because you might be the exception. You may have gotten divorced for a truly legit reason (like she was abusive or cheated), you may not have financial problems, you may not have any drama and get along with the ex. If that is the case you are the exception. I know many single dads and the ones who truly fit that description are generally not online. They also don’t seek out childless women but moms who understand what they are going through. The guys I described (and ALL the dads I dated fit under that description)are what I have come across on dating sites and they harass me. My profile clearly stated “no dads” and they disregarded it. It is horrific for example on holidays not to receive gifts because they can’ afford it. It’s horrific to have to go to fast food dates because that’s all they can afford unless I pay (and yes I pay my share). It’s horrific knowing you get half of a guy but his ex got him 100% because he didn’t have to share with his kids. It’s horrific having the ex calling me and asking for money or telling me she wants him back. It’s horrific knowing that if I married a single dad I could end up supporting his other family or even paying more than my fair share of bills because of the ex. I see no positives to this at all. I’m no gold digger but I expect to be treated the same way he treated his ex while dating and he can’t do that because he has less money.

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    • Sorry to hear that. There could be many reasons why you are attracting the wrong people. Just because you are dateable doesn’t automatically guarantee you will find the perfect match, you also have to be able to weed through the garbage to find the good stuff. We’ve all attracted the shady characters but it’s up to you to do the weeding until you find the gem. I know your feel discouraged but be grateful for your experience because they taught you lessons you’ll apply to future experiences.

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  3. I kinda stumbled onto these rules on my own and in the world of online dating it does help. I would add that no matter what you look like, meaning you body type or what ever you think your flaw is. Be okay with it. No one is perfect and if you walk around long enough you will find someone that is worse off than you. When you are comfortable in your skin it shows.

    I think I do Okay because I know what my “end game” is up front. I’m not looking for love or anything really so there is no pressure to make this person like me. So I can be my natural charming self.

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