Strangers in the Night … Exchanging Glances … Well Sort Of!

Online Dating.  It’s a world like no other.  There are so many options! Once you decide to embark on this adventure it’s like a Pandora’s Box of single people.  How do you choose? What do you say? Who should initiate contact? So many decisions!  Well lucky you, as a seasoned online dater, I’m here to help!

How to Choose Profiles

Going through all the profiles online can be a daunting challenge.  There are hundreds, sometimes thousands, to choose from.  This is where the search tool comes in very
handy.  Use it and be very specific as to what you are looking for.  It’s not being picky if you only choose people who meet your criteria.  Remember, you are looking for a mate.  It is good to reflect as to what options you are adamant about – wants/has children? smokes? drinks? educated? – and which ones you are flexible with – hair color, ethnicity, religion.  It’s really up to you.  I usually play around with the options to see what is out there.  What do I look for?  Well I always have a couple caveats in my profile – must have a good job, must have a newer car, must be intelligent, must be very social, must not smoke and must not be married (you would think that would be obvious!).

Once you’ve gone through your search results it is important to look at the pictures and READ the profile!  It’s difficult to write those things! Please take the time to read them.  Trust me! It will only help you in your interactions (more on that later).  So you’ve chosen some potential candidates.  Now what?

Sending Messages

The initial message is essential to your success.  Think of it as an introduction but also as wooing the other person.  Firstly, the subject should be interesting in order to entice the person to open your message.  Just a “hello” doesn’t usually cut it.  It’s boring and unimaginative.  Some subjects could be: “saw your profile”, “interested in chatting”, “I also enjoy xyz”, “so you like xyz” or “liked your profile”.  You need to make it your own, personalize it … be yourself!

The body of the message is just as, if not more, important as the subject.  You need to start by saying “hello, how are you” and then continue that you saw their profile and were interested in getting to know them better.  Now for the most important thing – mention things from their profile! Yes! Remember I mentioned how essential it was to actually read it?  Well people appreciate you saying what you liked about their profile and how you feel you are compatible.  Trust me, this little bit of work up front will guarantee at least a consideration if not more!  Then end it by something like “looking forward to hearing from you” and you can sign it with your name or your profile name.  And please NO copy and paste messages from one person to another! Personalize it.

Some messages I have totally ignored were: “you are so hot I want to stick my @#$% in you”, “you are the most beautiful angel I have ever seen”, “will you marry me and have my babies?”, “listen, I don’t want to waste my time, you, me, bed” … WTF??? Ya I’ll get right on that! Delete!

Receiving Messages

You will receive messages from other users who want to meet you and responses to the messages you sent out.  You need to weed through these as well.  Although poetry is sweet they probably send it to everyone.  If the message doesn’t mention anything from your profile, then they most likely didn’t take the time to read it.  This makes you question how serious they are or if they are just playing.

Once you’ve weeded through your messages, looked at the profiles associated them and chosen who you want to pursue, then comes the next step – the actual interaction – or what I like to call “First Contact”.


Responding to a message is always exciting. You know they are interested and you know you are interested.  This is where actual conversations take place.  You start talking about your interests, your life and what you are looking for.  It is important that you always remain polite and respectful. Remember that even though you seem familiar to each other you just met so don’t speak about private matters.  Overall, just be you and by all means be honest.  Keep in mind that you will probably end up meeting this person and they will find out the truth anyway!

These are some basic guidelines … stay tuned for more online dating tips coming soon!

Happy Dating!

Your Sister in Dating Bliss,

Single Dating Diva

Copyright Single Dating Diva

Originally Published on Singles Warehouse