I’ve recently given a lot of thought about “fireworks” or as I like to call it, “the wow factor” in dating. How important is it? What if it’s not there? Does it have to be there? I asked around what people thought and the majority of people thought that yes, it is important and that they would not want to continue with someone if there is no spark. I have to admit, I used to always think that if you had a good connection with someone and had everything else that the spark will come on its own. Isn’t it more important to have someone you can exist peacefully with? I wrote about someone (Mr. O) a while back who I had it all with but he didn’t want to be together because, as he put it, “everything was perfect, he couldn’t ask for better … except … but … he just didn’t feel that fireworks spark. He basically wanted a girl who made him feel like he was high and flying.” So there you go.
I was so upset, annoyed, offended and angry at him. How could he say that?! Well, you know what? I now get it. After going on countless dates with countless men and attempting some relationships along the way, I totally get where he’s coming from. You NEED that “wow factor”. It is very important. I have met guys who totally have everything on my “list” and I could see myself having a peaceful happy existence with them, but, no “wow”. I have really struggled with it … wondering if I am giving up a good thing because where else will I find everything I’m looking for. So what if there’s no fireworks? But then I remember my marriage. There was good stuff there, but no spark. It didn’t evolve over time.
So what about those who say that a fire that burns fast and hot will extinguish just as quickly? Well, I say that’s true. I agree. But, what if it doesn’t? If it extinguishes, then that’s all it was and you move on. But the fire that burns hot and stays hot is because you BOTH want it that way and you keep it going TOGETHER. Passion is so important in a relationship, whether it’s at the beginning or throughout. Passion is what helps you get through the rough times. Of course, you need friendship, trust, support and things in common, but passion is the glue. That “wow factor” is the passion … the glue.
I, personally, am holding out for the WOW that lasts forever. I want to get excited about seeing someone. I want to get butterflies. I want to see him and just want to jump him immediately wherever we are. I have experienced these things. I know how amazing they are. I want WOW from the beginning …
I’M NOT SETTLING for anything less than a BIG FAT WOW FIREWORKS DISPLAY! Neither should you!!!
What are your thoughts on the “wow factor” in dating?
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
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