Most of us are quite seasoned in the online dating world. Regardless of which site (or sites) you’re on, you deal with the same types of issues. There are countless inappropriate requests that come in, so how do you weed them out? Well, you just have to do it. Regardless of how clear you are in your profile you will still get outrageous requests and stupid messages. But, in general, most people are polite. What I’ve noticed recently is that a lot of guys are skipping to giving their telephone number pretty much right away and wanting to navigate away from the site and onto texting. Some have even asked for my Facebook account … yup, seriously. So what is appropriate and what isn’t when you’re first chatting online?
Online Dating Boundaries
It’s important to remember that stranger danger is REAL! I spoke about this in my post “The False Sense of Security That Comes From Online Dating“. You may think you know all about the person you’re chatting with. They seem nice enough, but you are only seeing what they want you to see. You know absolutely nothing about them or their lifestyle. Sometimes it’s obvious that they are a tool … but more often than not it’s not obvious. So you have to set your boundaries almost immediately when you’re chatting online and before you’ve met someone in person and decided to move further.
Setting your boundaries means that you don’t give out personal identifiable information about you. You can give a general idea about where you live (for example, you live in the city center). You can give a general idea about where you work and what you do, but don’t be specific about which office building you’re in. Give a general idea about your hangouts, but not details such as “every Tuesday I take a spinning class at X gym on X street”. Don’t give your social media accounts out or anything that can trace them back to you. What about your telephone number?
Giving Out Your Telephone Number
What do you do if they give you their number and ask you to call them or text them? What if they ask for yours? Do you give it? It’s really your personal preference. It really depends how comfortable you are with the idea of a stranger having your number (and yes they are a stranger). I personally do not give my number out anymore unless there has been a first date and there is a potential for a second date.
I will admit I used to, but I just don’t feel comfortable doing it because I’ve had some weirdos I didn’t want to talk to keep texting and calling even after months of not talking. To me, my number is for those I want to interact with and don’t mind continuing to interact with. That’s why I like apps like BBM or other similar ones … you just add them without having to give your number and can chat. Also, with most of the online dating sites having apps, just chatting on the apps works great too. If things don’t work out, you can just delete them and problem solved.
Many people give their personal information and numbers out freely and I think that’s a mistake. Be cognizant of what you’re doing at all times with online dating and the people you meet. You wouldn’t want a problem later on. When I refused one guy my Facebook account he quickly told me that he promises not to stalk me too much … you know what I did? BLOCK!! Next!!
Each and every person has their own personal boundaries and you know what yours are, just be cautious and both women and men should remember that their safety and privacy comes first.
Stranger danger is REAL … DATE SMART my friends!!
Do you give out your personal information when you meet someone new online? I would love to hear about it in the comments!
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
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