How NOT To Blow It After You Ask Her Out and She Says Yes: Guest Post


Ever had a girl flake? Or not return your calls/texts? When you approach and ask a lot of girls out, it’ll inevitably happen, for a myriad of different reasons. But I’ve noticed that with girls who definitely like me, after I ask her out, there is occasionally a dip or glitch in the emotional connection. The magic diminished, ever so slightly, after she said “yes.” What I realized was that the window of time after the “yes” is just as important, if not more important, than the first impression. And if you don’t handle those final moments correctly, you may very well find yourself ignored when you decide to text and call her. 

How NOT To Blow It After You Ask Her Out & She Says Yes

Here are the most common trends I recognized, where an ending impression ruins the connection.

The Awkward Silence As She Gives You Her Number


  • A stunning euphoria of “she actually said yes!” leaves you lost as how to proceed.
  • Your game plan ended at the asking-out phase
  • You don’t want to say anything dumb, so you say nothing at all

The Solutions…

  • Revive a conversational topic: “So when did you say you’ll be finished with your master’s?”
  • Screen logistics (if you haven’t already). “So what did you say your plans for the day were?”
  • Tease her if she uses an iPhone, “ohhh, you’re an iPhone girl huh?” Always gets a fun reaction. Or identify anything about her that you haven’t (her cool boots, a huge purse that’s probably hiding a WMD, etc.).

You Play it Too Cool After The “Yes”

I’ve recognized this mistake in two distinct circumstances

  • After you get her number in an unconventional location, like the street or cafe, you try to exit as quickly as possible, because you want to communicate “this is normal for me; I’m cool.”
  • After you get her number at a club or bar, you run into her again. To keep up your too-cool-for-school act, you pass by her with a brisk “hey” or pretend you don’t see her coming and act distracted.

The Solutions…

Maintain the same personality you had before getting her number, except dial up your affection a bit.

If you met her during the day or in a situation where you’ll soon part ways:

  • Hold her while you get her number while still respecting her boundaries. An arm around her waist or on the small of her back does wonders.
  • Hug her as you part ways or squeeze her hand and give her a wink.
  • Continue talking to her after you get the number and end the conversation on a high-note, leaving her with an emotional high, excited for times to come.

If you met her at a club/bar or a closed environment where you might spend more time together:

  • Continue conversation as if the number was a natural segment in your mutual dance towards intimacy.
  • If you’re not going to stick with her the rest of the night (which you probably should) or leave the club with her ASAP (which you probably should), then leave her on a high note and be very warm with her if you cross paths. A wink, a hug, a devilish smile – flirt!

You Get Way Too Excited After The “Yes”

She’ll usually sense over-excitement when…

  • You get her number, but you mention the date a few too many times, discussing where you’re gonna go, what you’re gonna do, and how you’re gonna do it.
  • You think she is “yours” now, so you hover, stare, or act possessive because she agreed to a date or gave you her number.
  • You don’t talk to any other girls at the bar or club, because you’ve gotten “your girl,” even when she’s off talking to other guys, screening them as potential lovers.

How to Fix This…

  • If you meet her during the day and will soon part ways and your propensity is towards over-excitement rather than aloofness, then you want to get her number, revive a topic from earlier, and then exit.
  • If you’re at a club or bar and want her that night, use that excited energy to escalate the passion. Grab her hand and lead her somewhere; pull her close; maybe kiss her; etc (while still respecting her boundaries). All you have to know to pull this off well is how to ask for a girl’s hand and lead, and how to kiss a girl you want her to think “guess we were gonna meet another time, but this is so exciting! Let’s do this now!”
  • If you don’t plan on taking her home from the venue, then take the excited energy and use it to meet other girls. If you pass by her, then be friendly and warm.

All Moments Matter!!

First impressions matter. As do ending impressions. To master those ending impressions, slow down after she says “yes,” watch your emotions, and adjust accordingly.

May you find happiness and love with the beautiful women who walk into your life!

Hector Castillo

Hector loves women. They fascinate him so much that he now dedicates most of his life to honoring the women in his life with love and intimacy, as well as teaching other men how to do the same. To see his wisdom on all things feminine, head over to!


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