All Aboard The Douchebag Express! Why Dating a Douchebag is Inevitable

dating-a-douchebagDouchebag. Someone with an inflated sense of self worth. Someone who thinks they are better than others. Someone who goes around treating other people as inferior to them. Someone who is obnoxious. Someone who thinks everyone want them and wants to be them. Someone who is arrogant. Someone you’ve most certainly dated. Although the term most often refers to men, many women can display just as much douchebaggery as men do.

The funny thing is, it’s these characteristics that probably attracted you to them in the first place! Well, I’ve been there, done that … even wrote about it. What’s most interesting about said douchebags is that you don’t really see it at first. Oh the red flags are most certainly there, but you ignore or miss it. The worst type of douchebag is the one that is seemingly the “nice guy” who ends up screwing you in the end (and not in the good way!). So why is dating a douchebag inevitable? I’ll tell you.

Why Dating a Douchebag is Inevitable

douchebag-datingI think each and every person has a douchebag hidden inside of them. Some display it proudly, while most do not. It’s not the ones who are obvious douchebags that are the problem, it’s the nice guys who end up being jerks that get us in the end. Recently I read an article called Sometimes Being a Nice Guy Makes You Into a Jerk and it seriously resonated with me. Essentially, the author realized that being the nice guy had made him not very nice at all, being honest was what he really needed to be. He said that “being the guy who is honest, who embraces the truth regardless of how scary or ugly it is, is far more important than being the guy who is “nice” or well-liked“. Wow! Imagine that! Being honest is truly more valuable than being a “nice guy”.

More often than not, these so called nice guys end up being douchebags because they don’t want to look bad, so they aren’t honest with you. Case in point, people who can’t break up with you, they just disappear into a vortex or black hole never to be seen or heard of again. How about those who give you a lame cop out excuse for not wanting to continue your relationship? Then there’s those who will tell you whatever you want to hear just to get you to like them only to find out later that it isn’t who they were at all. What about those that cheat instead of working out their problems with their partners? They’re not all jerks on the outside either … but … yes, well, you get the picture. Dating a Douchebag.

Ways To Avoid Dating a Douchebag

I did say that dating a douchebag is inevitable. We’ve all been there, done that and hopefully learned our lessons. But, are there ways to avoid dating a douchebag? Yes, yes there are. Here are some things to keep in mind:

  • trust your gut … even if someone seems like a great guy or girl, if you gut says different then trust your gut
  • keep your eyes open … there will always be signs of their douchebaggery, look at how they treat other people or react to situations
  • assess their values and ethics … do they match your own or do they have shady dealings?
  • listen carefully … how do they speak with you? are they attentive to your needs or do their actions leave much to be desired?
  • think … be smart, date smart and don’t fall for just anyone

OK everyone, all aboard the douchebag express … actually, no thanks … I’d rather stay home. The last time it was a bumpy ride and I got thrown off the train. Wouldn’t you rather stay home too? I’ve got wine and I’ve got scotch … you choose!

Have you boarded the douchebag express before and ended up dating a douchebag? I would love to hear about it in the comments!

Your Sister in Dating Bliss,

Single Dating Diva

Copyright Single Dating Diva

4 comments

  1. Been there and done that a number of times before! So what would be a good name for a woman who is a Douchebag? I always thought Douchebag refereed to a man.

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    • I’ve dated some female equivalents of douchebags. Before stating the term I use for them, let’s recall the definition presented in this article:

      “Douchebag. Someone with an inflated sense of self worth. Someone who thinks they are better than others. Someone who goes around treating other people as inferior to them. Someone who is obnoxious. Someone who thinks everyone want them and wants to be them. Someone who is arrogant.”

      The term I use is “entitled princess.” She expects a man to pay for all or most things, a man to cater to her every wish, and a man to see her inappropriate behavior as cute. She transactionalizes sex by dangling it as a reward for giving her what she wants, and withholding it when she doesn’t, however unreasonable it might be. She expects her tastes, preferences, and wants to take precedence over what her partner wants. This person, the entitled princess, is every bit as abusive and unworthy of someone’s affection as the douchebag, yet both of these types have no more problem than most in finding people to date.

      For more on princesses: http://shrink4men.wordpress.com/2009/12/15/you-are-not-a-princess-25-points-for-women-and-men-to-consider/

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  2. I am in the process of being dumped by a douche bag! I am a 61 year old widow and you would think that I knew better. I had known him since I was a child and on the outside he was an outstanding person-retired Navy SEAL, humorous, intelligent, accomplished-and he said all the right things! However, when he talked about his past relationships I had to convince myself that I was the exception rather than the rule-(he even sent that at one time) that should have been the first and last clue! He has no interest in being in a relationship, and only enjoys flirting with and trying to attract women. I attended a wedding with him and he allowed a woman (an old married “friend”) to wrap her arms around him and put her tongue is in his ear while he stood there smiling-he said that it was all her and he wasn’t doing anything! We had gone in my car and I should have taken my keys and left him there, but I have a kind heart and somehow tried to overlook that S___! He said that I was the only one he loved and that she meant nothing!
    He has no interest in anything that smacks of commitment or long-term. I know that I will be better off single-it’s just difficult getting over this rocky part!

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