Does Online Dating Actually Improve Online Dating Outcomes?: Guest Post

My friends over at The Urban Dater online dating blog stopped by Single Dating Diva to talk about Online Dating.  They make some very interesting points …

@rickybooth0 Tweeted:

Urban Dater post pic 1

While the tweet itself is a bit misleading, as it suggests that Online Dating, doesn’t produce happier relationships. The article really just summarizes that Online Dating hasn’t really been determined to alter the outcomes of relationships. That is, they don’t seem to fail or succeed any more or less than someone else who met, ahem, organically.

The article, Online Dating: A Better Way To Find Love?, supports its view via a number articles/papers on the topic, so, at least, it seems that the article merits some thought.

In this day and age where we go to the internet for just about anything, whether for personal use, or conduct our jobs more effectively, I would suppose that online dating outcomes ARE made better by the internet.

That is, if the internet provides these tools that give us access to larger swaths of singles, shouldn’t we be able to find “the one” much more easily and then do the Happily Ever After thing? Not so fast, Brochacho!

Barry Schwartz gave a somewhat controversial talk about the ‘Freedom of Choice.’ He opined that it created a type of paralysis from making a choice. Is having too many choices a bad thing? I mean, isn’t that what we all kinda want? The best person for us? I mean, doesn’t it stand to reason that we could find such a person if given a healthy number of choices?

online dating blogI put it like this: Las Vegas. One thing people clamor for, more than making oodles of money gambling, or having a stripper shove her tits is their face, is the buffet. Buffets annoy me. In general and in principle I don’t like them. Being spoilt for choice isn’t always a good thing. Buffets, in my opinion may have good food. But it’s typically not going to knock your socks off and it’s not meant to. It’s meant to give people various degrees of choice by bringing you in, at a fair/good price and throwing pounds of decent food at your talk hole. The price of the food, to the, restaurant is cheap, just like you. So they can afford it and you are going to take it.

Huh? Just because you have a lot of something doesn’t mean that the quality is equal. Okay, fine. But what does it all mean? Look, in my shitty dating life, of late, I’ve had LOTS of choices. But you know what? Didn’t mean a thing. It didn’t matter. I was plowing through these dates like Gabriel “Fluffy” Iglesias at a Golden Corral! And when you’ve overeaten at a buffet, don’t you just feel like a loser piece of shit fuck hole? You hate yourself and so does your body. You ate 6000 calories!!!! The body can’t handle that shit!

You know what, neither can the human heart… I’m not referring to the buffet. I’m referring to having all these choices online. Having these choices will get you introduced to some people, but it doesn’t guarantee a good outcome.

I think those among us who ‘serial date’ need to take a break and step back and see what’s what and, perhaps, remove some choice. Sure, that means losing out on convenience. How did people meet before the internet? The most convenient way was to get a VHS tape from Great Expectations… Fuuuuck! Makes me shake my damn head….

I have a challenge for you. Why don’t you try meeting a random stranger and see about making a connection. If you tend not to talk to anyone, try speaking up and striking a conversation once and a while; you might just surprise yourself. Since the internet isn’t really doing a great job of ensuring ‘Happily Ever After’ you should take matters into your own hands.

You can read more from The Urban Dater on their online dating blog, follow them on Twitter and like them on Facebook!

What do you think? Is online dating useless? Are there just TOO MANY choices? Would love to hear about your experiences in the comments!

Your Sister in Dating Bliss,

Single Dating Diva

Copyright Single Dating Diva


  1. I agree that there are almost too many choices. However, I do like to have a website or two where I can do some screening. It seems to save some time to scan the questions and e-mail, chat or talk on the phone before meeting. Striking up a conversation with a stranger is a good option but…I’m not sure it’s the answer.

    Being a spiritual girl, I’m trying to pray and ask God for someone. He expects me to be patient, it seems. Which is something I’ve been trying to learn for 50 years! Perhaps he wants me to get my own head together before I head out and try to be a supportive partner for someone else.


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  2. Relationships must be given enough time by both couple so that it can grow, flourished, and last a lifetime. Couple should fixed problems right away so that it will not blow into heated arguments. Nice tip I read today.


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