The 3 Date Rule Hook Up

So, you’ve met someone new. Gorgeous and smart with a smile that gives your heart pleasent palpatations, you’re hopelessly smitten. Two days later and you can’t stop remembering that seductive kiss you shared on your last date. You bite your lip just thinking about it, wondering how much longer you can hold yourself back. The third date is approaching and you’re not sure what to do, let alone wear. It is time to take it to the next level or wait a bit longer? Is the 3 date hook up rule something to live by or forget all together?

3-Date-Rule-Hook-UpThe 3 Date Rule Hook Up

The rule states that after 3 dates, it’s perfectly okay to have sex with someone. You’re in the clear, away from judgement and fast regrets. 3 dates seems like the perfect amount of time. It allows you to not come off too eager or promicious and not look like a tease either. You get a romantic ritual with a bit of fun too. If he can hold out that long, he’s a keeper. But how true is that? Because this rule is a staple in the dating world, it’s commonly abused. If 3 dates is all it takes, why waste the time? Men anxious to get in your pants will rush your once sweet and special night to jump to the sexy finish line that awaits in the bedroom. By openly establishing 3 dates till sex, you’re giving your potential partner the green light to a raunchy countdown. It makes your date lose focus. Instead of taking the time to genuinely get to know you, they’re distracted by the ticking in the back of their heads that reminds them there’s only one more date left before you two can jump in the sack. And even if your date has more manners than that, you run the risk of ruining your own image. Congratulations, you are now “that girl,” the one who is more interested in what society deems normal instead of making choices at your own pace.

Have Sex When You Are Ready

The third date does not have to be labeled as the “sex date”.  You should not feel the need to fit your dating and sex life into stereotypical standards set by magazines and media. Whether it’s the fear of going against strong social norms or disappointing the person you’re dating, don’t let anyone pressure you into making a choice about your body that you may or may not be ready to make. Remember, you are always in charge of your life. Make any choice you feel is right for yourself and no one else. There is no perfect way to make this choice, no right or wrong time to have sex with a new partner. The right time is up to you. If you’re ready and happy, by all means take the plunge and have fun! But if you are uncomfortable with the idea, then take a step back. Just breathe. There’s plenty of time to have sex, no rush neccecary. If your date thinks otherwise, it might be best to let them go. You deserve to be with someone who respects you, no matter how long or soon it takes for you to be ready to get intimate. Be open and honest with your date. If your looking for something casual that’s okay, and if you’re not… that’s okay too! Set the standards by how you want to live your life and not  by the 3 date hook up rule. Make up your own rules! It’s your life, and it’s about time you owned it. Be confident in your choice, and you’ll feel good about it every time.

Remember, don’t focus on what the rules say, just focus on you.

Readers, what do you think? Is there a magic number for having sex with someone or do you just go with the flow? Does the 3 date rule hook up really apply? I would love to hear about it in the comments below!

Your Sister in Dating Bliss,

Single Dating Diva

Copyright Single Dating Diva

A version of this post was originally published on Singles Warehouse here: The 3 Date Rule Hook Up



  1. Funny, many years ago I met a lady that was a “3 date and do it” woman. She got pissed when I did not move in that direction on the third date. It took me a few conversations with her, to figure out she wanted to “do the deed”. Sad to say, I was born without the ability to read minds 🙂


  2. You’ve talked about breaking the rules in one way but not the other. I prefer “three dates or less”. Unless there’s some AMAZING chemistry I find that you are just wasting your time if you go beyond three dates.


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