A few days ago I read Biggest Mistakes Men Make With Online Dating on this site. As a straight single girl, who is currently a member of several dating sites, I see those mistakes on a regular basis, and agreed with a lot of what the author had to say.
However when Single Dating Diva asked if I would like to write a complimentary post about the mistakes girls make, I realized it was something I’d thought about less.
So what mistakes do us girls make when it comes to online dating?
Biggest Mistakes Women Make With Online Dating
Not Being Honest
Men aren’t the only ones who upload inaccurate photos!
If you actually plan to meet up with someone in person, there’s no point using old photos, or ones where you look thinner than you really are. No one wants to create a disappointing first impression simply by turning up!
Be honest with yourself. Select photographs which actually look like you, and include at least one full-length shot. That way, you know anyone you meet up with is attracted to you just the way you are.
Think carefully about what impression your photos make.
If you met a guy in a pub, would he already know what you look like in a bikini? And would you want that to be why he was attracted to you in the first place? Choose photos which convey something about your personality or hobbies. If you only wear fancy dress once a year, don’t post every picture you’ve ever had taken in costume.
Being Afraid of Rejection
The great thing about online dating is that rejection is passive. If someone isn’t interested, they simply won’t reply. Big deal!
You don’t have to worry about finding out if the guy you like is single – that part of the ground work is done for you already. So make the first move.
Statistics show that girls more often send the first message than guys, so if you find someone you like, don’t wait around for him to contact you.
What’s the worst thing that can happen? He won’t reply back.
And then you just continue searching … because there really are plenty more fish in the sea. And there’s an entire ocean online!
We all do it. As girls, we read into everything.
And when your first communication with a guy is over email or instant message, it can be hard to interpret tone.
Try not to read too much into those initial messages. Realistically you won’t know how attracted you are to someone until you meet him in person, so communicate enough to know you’ll have areas of common interest to talk about, but don’t over analyse how many ‘x’s a guy writes at the end of a message, or how long it takes for him to reply in those early stages. Because genuinely, most of the time, nothing you read into will have been premeditated.
Expecting Too Much
The worst thing you can do is see online dating as an interview for a husband.
Rather than searching for ‘The One’, take it one step at a time. Search for a fun date. The less pressure you put on potential dates, the less pressure you put on yourself, and the more likely you are to enjoy the whole experience, and just be yourself.
If you lower your expectations, and just see internet dating as a way to meet new people and have a fun and different evening, then you won’t be disappointed.
So go have fun!
Miss Twenty-Nine is the creator and editor of the 30 Dates Blog. After completing 30 Blind Dates in the three months running up to her 30th birthday – an adventure which took her around the world – she is now completing 30 Dating Experiments, with the help of a range of other daters. Follow her blog at 30blinddates.wordpress.com or on Twitter.
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
Copyright Single Dating Diva
Great post! Completely agree with all that you’ve said 🙂
Thanks! It definitely gives women food for thought when it comes to what they’re doing online.
Thanks 🙂 Glad you enjoyed it, Miss Twenty-Nine xx
Great post. I agree 100% with “Expecting Too Much”. I know most guys get really scared off when we see Looking for a husband in the profile. To us that means to us we are being interviewed as a candidate instead of just enjoying the date.
Thanks Jason! A lot of women definitely come on TOO STRONG … men can smell desperation a mile away!
Thanks Jason 🙂 Glad you enjoyed it! Miss Twenty-Nine xx
I must be honest here…sometimes I find myself doing just this: “Rather than searching for ‘The One’, take it one step at a time. Search for a fun date. The less pressure you put on potential dates, the less pressure you put on yourself, and the more likely you are to enjoy the whole experience, and just be yourself.” Even at 51, my mind is still stuck in the high school mindset…I must constantly remind myself that dating is fun…and I know it is fun. I enjoy a good first date, and some of the bad ones too. LOL.
Haha sometimes the worst ones can be the best in an odd kind of way!! 😉 Miss Twenty-Nine xx
Is that like ……they are so bad, that they become good 🙂
By far the worst thing women do on the dating sites – there lousy and inaccurate photos. I have seen photos of ladies that have posing themselves in a photos that they look so small, you could not recognize them. Or how about the ladies that post 40 year old photos of themselves. I remember on lady that was in her 60’s, and is a nurse, who posted a photo of herself when she graduated from nursing school – yes with the white uniform and the nurse’s hat. I also get confused when ladies post photos of themselves with 2 or more other ladies, and have you try to figure who she is in the photo………….Or worse yet… the women who pose with a man, but never tell you who they are – a son, a friend, there ex or maybe their current boyfriend 🙂
And about the “Expecting Too Much” – YESSSSSS….. way too many women on the dating sites are wanting an “instant relationship” I find that all the time…I will exchange few e-mails and them, and all the sudden they will go POOF. Yes, I known both women and men do this… too busy to exchange a few e-mails to find out a little more about the person you might want to meet.
You’re right Dan, there are a lot of women (and men) misrepresenting themselves online and being unrealistic. Wouldn’t it be great if people just were themselves and had fun with it?
Right Suzie, “can’t we all just get along”, and have some fun 🙂
Glad you agreed Dan 🙂 Hope you enjoyed the post, Miss Twenty-Nine xx
I did 🙂 xoxo
I have and online profile , my profile is very honest. It more than like scares the weak at heart, because I realize I am a challenge, but I feel like for the right person I am worth it. I am almost 50 so I kind of know what I am looking for and what I will and won’t put with.
No point pretending to be someone you’re not, if you want them to be interested in you. Miss Twenty-Nine xx
Good for you….. I said the same thing when I was almost 50, and here I’m in my 60s and still alone. Hope you have better luck, since even fewer people these days want to take the time to get to know you.
Yes, to be honest, I like them all as friends. I have made serveral new friends but no love connection. A lot of people assume I am in my mid 30’s, so I get a lot of hits from ages 30-44. I believe if its meant to be it will happen.
I think the reading into it and expecting too much go both ways. You wouldn’t want a potential date deciding he had already figured you out before meeting you, so do others the same courtesy: wait to make your judgments until you meet in person.
Reblogged this on 30 Dates – The Experiments and commented:
The lovely Single Dating Diva asked me to Guest Post on her blog, and discuss the Biggest Mistakes Women Make with Online Dating … check out what I had to say! Miss Twenty-Nine xxx
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