Dating is Finding the Missing Puzzle Piece

Let us look at things a little differently this week. Let us look at our life as a whole. We all have had many experiences in life, love or otherwise, and these experiences have shaped who we are. The experiences have contributed to our life puzzle. Each accomplishment has been another piece. We all have our own puzzle, think about it. Each life event is another piece in this puzzle.

Sometimes the pieces are really easy to find, other times, it’s much harder. Sometimes we find a piece that looks like it’s perfect, then, we soon realize that regardless of how hard we try, we can’t make it fit. There are also times that we feel that our puzzle has way too much sky and grass space, you know, those pieces that ALL look the same? Frustrating! Some of us, it seems, have bigger puzzles with more pieces than others. Question is, why do some people seem to have the ten piece puzzle with all the pieces obvious and fit quickly and easily while the rest of us have these thousand piece puzzles with lots of grass and sky? Who knows, but that’s just life. Dating and finding your ideal partner is all part of the puzzle, in fact dating is, essentially, finding the missing puzzle piece. You know, that one that will fit perfectly? Ya that one! Now, how do we find it?

Dating is Finding the Missing Puzzle Piece

missing-puzzle-pieceHow many times do we meet someone and we feel we should give them a chance because perhaps they’re really nice, or they’re “good on paper” or even everyone says what a great couple you make, but, something just doesn’t feel right. You know deep down inside they aren’t the right person for you. You just don’t “feel it”. Yes, that’s a REAL thing, not just an excuse. It really sucks sometimes because as much as you want to make it work, it just won’t. Why? Because as great as that puzzle piece is, it’s not the missing puzzle piece for you.

How do you know that you’ve got your missing puzzle piece? Well, here are some hints:

  • everything seems to fall into place naturally and easily with little or no question
  • you can spend hours together without even feeling it or getting bored
  • you fit easily into each other’s lives, hobbies, activities and friends/family
  • there is no drama
  • there is mad chemistry between you, it’s like this energy you can’t explain
  • just thinking of them makes you smile
  • you don’t need to question trusting them or their honesty with you
  • they respect you completely
  • any challenges you encounter are dealt with easily and you move on quickly
  • you communicate easily with each other
  • you are attracted to each other
  • they bring out the best in you and encourage you to be your best self
  • you can have fun and laugh with them
  • you admire them
  • you feel comfortable with them in every aspect of your life
  • you can count on them, especially in the difficult or bad times
  • if you are sick or sad or having a rough day they are there to support you

You get the idea. As you see, this person just fits, you don’t need to force it or face a challenge at every corner. This missing puzzle piece makes your life easier, not more difficult. That’s why I tell people who send me questions about their tumultuous love affairs that that person is NOT their happily ever after because it shouldn’t be that hard. You shouldn’t be stressed or question someone’s intentions. You should just know. It’s so easy really, but we complicate it. Especially if we meet someone we really like and we really really want it to work. The hardest thing to do is to let someone go that just doesn’t feel right even if they seem perfect. Unfortunately, we can’t make it work if it doesn’t happen naturally. I am guilty of that, more times than I would like to admit, which is why I ended up divorced. I tried to make a puzzle piece fit where it didn’t belong. I’ve learned from my mistakes and now I’m looking for my ideal partner in life. I’m not looking for a boyfriend or a relationship. I’m looking for a companion and so should you. Life is too short not to.

So my friends, go forth and find your missing puzzle piece. Trust me, it’s better to be alone and enjoying your single life than be with someone who doesn’t fit perfectly. Be happy. Choose to be happy. That’s an order!!

READERS: How do you feel that dating is finding the missing puzzle piece? Do you feel this analogy works for you and your love life? Have you ever tried to force fit someone into your life? We would love to hear about it in the comments below.

Your Sister in Dating Bliss,

Single Dating Diva

Copyright Single Dating Diva


  1. I always wonder why some get it all and others got nothing. I have never in my entire life had the perfect puzzle. Most of the guys I dated have never felt like a missing puzzle. In fact I didn’t even like most of them and the non attraction never became anything. It was just sadness and drama and anger why the one i wanted didnt want me. Even now, I have a friend who has everything I desire but isn’t a partner because of some personal problems. We have chemistry and shsre so many activities and views but his personal life needs help (he is dealing with emotionsl problems). When I did online not one guy was the one either. Yet I know so many offline who met the one (often early) and are content. I want that missing piece but wonder if I will ever get it.


    • Dawn, sometimes things are just out of our hands. You just have to keep mingling and circulating. Sitting at home with cats is not the path to finding the person you feel you are meant to be with.


      • I go out often and just never find good quality men. I either meet men with kids, men too old, men too young or men not interested. When I meet someone who likes me I never like them. That’s how I met my one friend, we are active in veterans organizations, but for now are just friends. He would make a fantastic partner just not now until he deals with his issues (some financial and legal reasons).


        • I guess I should clarify why I can’t date my friend, he runs a business with his elderly mom and it’s been struggling. He’s had a few legal issues with that and drinking. I’m smart enough not to get involved unless he deals with all of that. When I met him we clicked instantly but once I found out about his issues I took a backseat and he told me he needed to deal with all of this. I’m not making excuses because otherwise I’d want to date him like this.


  2. Thank you for this post. Just going by your points on hints you’ve found your missing puzzle piece, it appears that I have found mine. Because the current man I am seeing has all those. He’s the first one I have naturally felt comfortable with. Still early days and I don’t want to read too much into it.


  3. When you find your missing piece, you just know it. It’s one of the best feelings in life when it happens. The thing that comes across in all your valid point above SDD is that there is no feeling to have to think about things, it all just FEELS right. It’s refreshing if you have been on a quest like I have. Sadly, it is rare and I don’t think it happens for everyone.


  4. Finding “the one” is hard, you can end up finding the wrong ones in the process, but sooner or later your partner will finally show up. The right partner can make every experience more beautiful and satisfying than you could imagine. It definitely will be a different feeling, it just feels right.


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