When you meet someone new that you like, I mean really really like, the whole world seems like sunshine and rainbows. You really enjoy each other’s company and think about them all the time. Life is good, like really really good. What could possibly go wrong you think? Well, sorry to burst your bubble but lots can go wrong, especially if you’ve got ONE THING all wrong. What could be so important? If you’ve got attraction and chemistry and everything is just WOW! What on earth could you want more? I’ll tell you … this ONE THING could make or break a relationship … this ONE THING could mean the difference between a relationship that is harmonious, respectful, peaceful, mature and a relationship that feels like a roller coaster ride from hell with many ups and downs. This ONE THING is COMMUNICATION. It seems like something so simple, yet, it’s not as easy as it looks. Why, you ask? Well, I’ll tell you.
This One Thing Could Make or Break a Relationship
We all know that fairy tales are for the movies but happily ever after can exist, but you have to be an active participant in making it happen and keeping it. We’re all guilty of doing the wrong things when we date someone for whatever reason, but we live and learn. In my many years dating, in and out of relationships, as well as helping and observing others, I realized that what made things work wasn’t love, love was never enough, what set apart the winning relationships from the losing team was the couple’s ability to communicate openly, respectfully and honestly together. They are able to talk about anything together and work through things simply and easily. When good communication between two people exists, you get the sense that they’re playing for the same team, that they’re in it to win it – together.
Sound easy enough? Well, it’s not. Especially when the couple isn’t walking on the same path and on the same page mentally and emotionally. This can only happen when someone is coming into the relationship from a good place. This means they aren’t dragging loads of baggage AND most importantly, they are coming as a happily single. They don’t NEED the other person to complete them, they are complete on their own. What they DO need is a partner, a companion to share their journey with them and make the path they’re walking on that much better.
What Good Communication In A Relationship Looks Like
So what makes good communication in a relationship? Here are some points to consider from (inspired by these points):
- Both individuals must be emotionally mature: they must have a sense of self and recognize as well as respect the differences in thinking, feeling, background between them and their partner. Without this you have jealousy, dependency and resentfulness.
- Both individuals must have good communication skills: they must be able to listen actively and discuss anything with their partner openly and honestly. They must respect each other’s opinion as valid and work through things together because no one can just guess what you’re thinking, you have to talk about it.
- Both individuals must be able to go with the changes life brings: just like life, relationships go through various stages as time progresses and each stage requires a certain element of adaptability and flexibility in order to keep moving forward.
- Both individuals must be able to compromise: there is always a middle ground if a couple gives and takes a little. No one person can always get their way. Only an immature, selfish person is unwilling to compromise and this is a big red flag in a relationship that’s usually seen early on. Giving and receiving makes the relationship stronger in the long run.
- Both individuals must have a willingness to work together: you need to be walking on the same path, in the same direction, sharing your journey together in order for a relationship to work. Plain. Simple. This means helping your partner when they trip and fall and lift them up when they are down, encouraging them and strengthening them. This doesn’t mean kicking them when they’re down.
- Both individuals must know when to back off: it’s extremely important to give your partner space to explore their individuality, which means their own activities, friends and pastimes without nagging or negativity about it. This makes for a healthier relationship because they aren’t everything to each other, they must be two individuals walking together, not one individual, remember that 1 + 1 = 2 NOT 1.
- Both individuals must be supportive and trustworthy: what is better than knowing we have someone in our corner that we can count on no matter what happens? Your partner should be someone you can count on regardless of what’s going on in our life. It gives us peace of mind and makes our path together much more enjoyable.
- Both individuals must be able to express affection: expression of affection through love, hugs, kisses and sex is extremely important in a relationship. If you can’t communicate your affection physically as well as verbally then you’re in for rocky roads ahead. Good sex is a result of a good relationship where good communication exists.
So there you have it. Good communication is the ability to engage your partner in an open and mature way which should be easy to do if you’re both in it as a team working together and not against each other. There is no room for selfishness or pride, there is no room for negativity or abuse. The one thing that could make or break a relationship really is good communication. If you’re dating someone and you just don’t feel like you’re on the same page and don’t have good communication together, it might be time to rethink what you’re doing and look for someone different. Remember, communication is a two-way interaction and if you’re not walking together on your journey in the same direction then it’s really not worth it because if you can’t get through the small things positively what will happen when the real problems arise? Think about it.
READERS: Do you agree that relationship communication can make or break a relationship? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
Copyright Single Dating Diva
Agreed. I’ve had romances that were hot fizzle because there was no communication chemistry.
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