If you’ve been dating a while, then chances are that you’re tired. Date after date, missing the mark and failed attempts at quasi-relationships can be frustrating and downright exhausting. I get it. But guess what, I’m here to tell you that it’s OK and all part of the dating process. I’m also here to tell you that dating IS Fun and I’ll tell you why. It’s all about perspective.

Think about it this way, when you are doing something you really like to do then you look forward to doing it and it makes you happy, the anticipation, the butterflies, and the excitement release endorphins in your body making you feel good about what you’re doing, whatever it is. How about when you are doing something that you don’t enjoy doing? How does it make you feel? Most likely you are dragging your feet and doing it because you feel that you have to. Am I right? Now back to dating. What if you approach dating like something that you like to do and that you look forward to? Then guess what? Dating WILL BE FUN!!

So you’ve kissed a lot of frogs? No prince or princess? Everyone wants their “happily ever after” but it’s not as easy as just kissing frogs. But, could it be? What if we’re looking at it all wrong? Let’s change our perspective with the following food for thought:

• Lighten Up: Don’t take dating so seriously and start not giving a damn. Dating should be an enjoyable process and not a checklist of have and have nots. Dates should be fun ways to do things you like with someone you like. Make it interesting. Try something new. Have FUN because dating is fun … it’s supposed to be.
• Think Positive: Never go on a date with a negative attitude. Each person has potential. If you’re not convinced about someone or your gut is telling you to run then don’t go. Even if you’ve lost track of how many dates you’ve been on, keep trying. When you think about things positively you attract positive experiences. Besides having a positive attitude not only gets you more dates, it makes you more attractive. No one wants to be around negative people.
• Lessons Learned: Take each date as a learning experience about what is out there and what you’re looking for. That’s what I did, I was able to narrow down what I liked and didn’t like by actually dating all different types of men. You might be pleasantly surprised! That diamond in the rough might just shine brighter than you thought. If you are insecure or have baggage to deal with then do that before you date people.
• Stop Being So Hard On Yourself: The reason why you’re not finding what you’re looking for isn’t that no one wants you or that you’re undesirable. You just haven’t found the right person for you. There are countless potential partners in any given city, you just have to keep trying until you get the right fit. Don’t give up.
• Put Your Best Foot Forward: Looking good will make you feel good. Think of that feeling you get after a great workout, getting your hair done or dressing in your favorite outfit. Now, take that feeling and use it as a benchmark for how you should always feel, especially when dating. Taking care of your appearance and personal hygiene will make you feel good and look good. What’s the result? You will bring your best self to your dates and have more wins.

Dating is fun. It really is. When you approach the experience in a positive way you will find it rewarding. Every encounter you have with someone is an opportunity to not only learn about them, it’s a valuable lesson for your own dating life. Go out, meet as many people as you can and enjoy it! Be social, be friendly, smile at others, be approachable and put positivity out there and guess what? You will get the same back. It’s really that simple. Just let go of the anxiety and fear of being alone. Embrace your single life, enjoy dating and the right person will be attracted to all the great things you’re putting out there.

Your Sister in Dating Bliss,

Single Dating Diva

Originally appeared on eHarmony Canada.