We live. We learn. We fall. We get back up again. Our heart breaks. We love again. Life sometimes kicks us in the ass but somehow we keep going. That’s the beauty of life though, we don’t have to stay in one spot, we can move on. I can speak from experience when I say that I suffered plenty in my single and dating life, as well as from my divorce. Life definitely gave me many kicks in the ass.
Many times, I didn’t feel like I could emerge from it in one piece. Many times, I didn’t think I could handle anymore. Many times, I just wanted to give up. But, I didn’t. I kept going. I persisted. In the end, I found my happily ever after. How? Because I learned all the lessons I needed to and, although sometimes it took me a couple tries, but I didn’t repeat my mistakes. Because, there is a wisdom that comes from knowing better. I lived. I learned. I fell. I got back up again. My heart broke. I learned to love again.
The Wisdom That Comes From Knowing Better
So how did I do this? How did I learn to do better. It wasn’t easy and it certainly wasn’t overnight. I turned a blind eye to so many toxic situations. I’ve mentioned before that after my divorce, I was emotionally unavailable. I needed to learn how to love and how to trust in love. It took many dates and several years, but I successfully got through my challenges and found the love I was looking for. You can too, read on to find out how.
- Rejection is a good thing! Learn to see rejection as a blessing and not as a curse. Not everyone is going to like you and you’re not going to like everyone and THAT’S OK! Let go of your pride and learn from it. Perhaps they weren’t the right person for you or you for them. Perhaps you were saved from a toxic situation. Think of it as a positive step on the road to love.
- Comfort Zone is not your friend! Take a chance and meet new people, do new things, get offline, be social, date someone who isn’t your type! These are all ways you will learn more about yourself, what you like and what you don’t like. You might just surprise yourself and find the love of your life where you least expected.
- Deal with your baggage! Your baggage and hurtful past are no one’s responsibility nor are they anyone’s problem. Deal with it before you start seriously looking for a partner. Don’t judge anyone new by how someone else treated you, it’s not fair to them nor is it fair to you. Start with a clean slate and you will not only attract the best, you will be the best.
- You aren’t unlucky in love! What differentiates lucky and unlucky people? CHOICES. If you have a string of what seems like bad luck and feel like you always attract the wrong people then look at yourself and ask yourself WHY. You are the common denominator and you are choosing to speak to or date these people. So step back and assess your choices.
- You are the author of your dating life! Stop giving control to others. They will treat you how you let them. People (and dating) aren’t as complicated as we make them. It’s really simple actually. If someone likes you they will make an effort, and keep it up consistently over time, you will know. No effort? Feeling unsure or stressed? Then move on and don’t chase, they most likely aren’t as into you as you would like them to be. Also be wary of the “too hot too fast” liaisons, they usually burn out just as fast.
- Life is good, enjoy it and be grateful! Life for TODAY, enjoy TODAY. Take dating as a process, one day at a time and stop worrying about the future and stop stressing about the past. What’s done is done, move on, look ahead to much brighter outcomes. You can’t see what’s coming if you keep looking back or trying to see too far ahead. Remember slow and steady always wins the race!
- Don’t compare yourself to others! Everyone’s journey is different. We all have our own path to follow. Besides you don’t know what they’ve been through or done to get where they are.
There really is a wisdom that comes from knowing better. You have a wealth of experience to learn from. Finding love isn’t easy, it can be quite frustrating actually, but it’s up to you how you tolerate the journey. You could either host endless pity parties and engage in negative thinking OR you could see each experience as an opportunity and a stepping stone leading you to where you belong. The choice is yours. Love IS possible. Don’t give up.
Readers: How have you learned from past experiences in dating? Share your thoughts and comments in the space below!
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
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I like that you mention rejection. When I am rejected (or in the past) I have been so devastated, especially if I liked them. However, I am glad for it and I realize later on they always had a warning sign I was ignoring because I wanted them.
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