oops did I say that out loud? ok ok … I did. What bad things you ask? Well … it could be a number of things. Any one of my friends will tell you I like to get myself into trouble … into sticky situations … but I can get myself out of them. Usually. But what I am talking about is fetishes. I have been thinking a lot about that lately. Online dating and being part of the blogging community exposes you to some interesting things! If you recall, I had my own encounter with “diaper guy” earlier this year. You can read about it here in my post “Fetish du jour?“. So what is a fetish? Essentially, it is something or some situation that makes someone sexually aroused. Often times, this fetish is harmless and adds to a person/couple’s sexual life. Other times, it takes over their life and they cannot function properly. What is important is that whatever the fetish is, it doesn’t hurt them or others. I believe that anything consensual is good … if both are enjoying it, then why not. If the fetish of your potential partner doesn’t “float your boat”, then it could cause a problem. Just like “diaper guy” and me couldn’t move forward because I totally wasn’t interested in being his “mommy”. Breastfeeding a grown man? Changing diapers? Um, not my thing.
But, just because something turns you on, is it considered a fetish? Well, by definition, yes. It just becomes abnormal if it takes over your life and you can’t “perform” without it. Thankfully, I have not encountered many who are obsessed with their fetish. So what sorts of things have I encountered? I will tell you in a minute. First I wanted to share with you what has been researched and found to be the most common types of fetishes, just to see where you fit in ;)! The number one type of fetish (from Wikipedia Sexual Fetishism) includes clothing (lingerie, stockings, people in various stages of dress and undress), the second was rubber and rubber items (rubber clothing, balloons, balls), next footwear (shoes, boots), then body parts (breasts, feet, hair, butt), leather (clothing, whips) and soft materials (stuffed animals, costumes of stuffed animals). AskMen.com asked their readers to share their fetishes, and here are the top 10 …
10 – Stomachs
9 – Body Piercing
8 – Leather, Vinyl, Rubber, Latex
7 – Domination and Submission
6 – Feet and Hands
5 – Fingernails and Lipstick
4 – Braids, Ponytails, Pigtails
3 – Water
2 – Golden Showers (peeing)
1 – Voyeurism and Exhibitionism
Interesting eh? I’m surprised lingerie and breasts aren’t there. Have you ever encountered any of these? Do these describe you? Fill out my anonymous poll!
I’m glad I’ve never encountered a Golden Shower fetish! The rest I can work with, more or less. Who’s to say what’s normal or not. What is normal anyway? There is no such thing as normal. What makes me want to do bad things? Well, I love a man who is confident, rough and aggressive. Not in a rape kind of way, but in an “I’m taking over” kind of way … domination on their part for sure. Unshaven with a manly smell (not BO!). I’m also a bit of an exhibitionist. Geez why am I telling you this? Well if you see me in the park in the middle of the night run the other way! LOL! Just kidding. Wait a minute what are you doing there?
So what have I encountered during my adventures? Well, other than “diaper guy”, I have encountered a lipstick and fingernail fetish, and what seemed harmless turned out a little freaky. Let me explain. So I was dating this guy who liked me to wear red nail polish and lipstick. So I humored him because he liked it, it turned him on and it really wasn’t a big deal to me. Until I met his mom and realized the shade he bought me was the shade she used. He basically wanted me to look like his mom. Ewwww … more mommy issues!! WTF??? I’ve encountered a lot of exhibition and voyeur fetishes. Lots of guys I date want to watch and be watched. It’s the excitement of maybe getting caught. I think that’s exciting too. It makes everything naughty, right? But I draw the line at illegal, well, I guess it’s a fine line. LOL!!! I met this one guy who got turned on only if a girl was fully clothed. Not if she was naked. A friend of mine dated a guy who was obsessed with her ears. They always needed to be in full view during sex and have long sexy earrings in them. Ears was his thing. Another friend of mine told me about a guy who got turned on by certain foods. Always had to incorporate them into their sex life. I also heard about guys who like girls to fart on them during sex, I didn’t believe it until I actually googled it. OK, umm, hmm … well then! Hey, whatever floats your boat, right?
I think it all depends on the person and what their first sexual encounter was like. Think about what turns you on. Don’t worry, I won’t tell 😉 … but seriously … think about it and think about where it came from and why. I’m sure it’s all related. So what does this have to do with dating? Lots. Everyone you meet comes with their “baggage”, whatever it is. Some suitcases are heavier than others. So you need to know what you’re getting into and if you’re comfortable with it. If you are, then it’s all good. If you’re not, then don’t do it. Sounds logical and simple, right? Well, not always if you really like someone and want to be with them. I am not saying don’t try something or experiment, but don’t do it unless you’re comfortable doing it. There are a lot of weirdos out there in the dating world and they will try to test your boundaries. Just be yourself and have fun … I certainly am!!! Just don’t pee on me!!
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
Copyright Single Dating Diva