Out of the dating scene for several years, I wasn’t sure where to start again (or whether I wanted to start again at all!). There are so many options out there, several online dating sites, speed dating events, singles parties and of course the people your friends and family want to set you up with. A little overwhelming at best! So where to start? Well, I decided early on I didn’t want to jump into the dating scene so quickly, and I definitely didn’t want another relationship right away. I wanted to “shop around” see what’s out there and what works and doesn’t work. Above all, I wanted to find the right person this time around. I felt like a new woman, sounds cliché doesn’t it? Well it’s true. I was going to be true to myself this time around, but I was also going to have fun doing it!
Dating and Finding Love Again
I began by reflecting on what I was looking for and how I wanted to find it. In all honesty, I wanted the polar opposite of my ex-husband! I wanted someone extroverted, strong, social and successful who adored me. Was that too much to ask? Well, yes. So far. I began my trek with men I knew and started casually dating (you can read about all my adventures in my blog here. I think that’s very important. Baby steps. It gave me the confidence and the courage to try online dating. That was quite the eye opener. It’s one thing meeting someone in person, but meeting online is a whole other experience. You have to create an account, create your profile and be sure to say the right things and post a picture online for all to see. It’s hard to gauge whether or not people on there are being honest. I found many of them weren’t sincerely looking for someone. I think they were on there to pass the time or play. It is frustrating when you encounter someone like that. I pride myself on always being honest. In my profile I wrote a little about me (not everything, just enough to keep them intrigued) and what I was seeking. I also made it clear I was taking it slow and not interested in a full blown relationship right away, nor was I interested in a “fling”. I received many responses, more than I ever imagined. I had to weed out at least 95% of them. Imagine. But they weren’t being sincere or honest. Some of them even said the opposite about themselves than was in their profile. Delete. Some were professing their undying love and devotion. Delete. Some were proposing marriage. Delete. Many wanted to know if I was interested in a “liaison”, some married. Delete. Delete. Delete!! Was there no hope?
I decided to give online dating a rest and go other routes. I met men at the gym. Not too bad, since I was there so often. It was ok. Not much luck for me. The most interesting prospect I’m still hoping for is what some of you who follow me on Twitter might have heard me refer to as “sir stares a lot”. Yes it is what it sounds like. He just sits there and stares at me. It’s been going on for at least a month. Even tries to make it look less obvious. It’s kind of cute actually. I’ve smiled at him every now and then but nothing came of it so far, don’t think it will. I even try to bug him by working out close to him. Besides, if he doesn’t have the courage to approach me, he’s not my type! But there are plenty more where he came from! I also realized most single cute guys go to the gym after 7:00PM and that’s when most women leave. Imagine the fun! Well, I find it fun. Where else do I meet men? I meet them while shopping, on the street, through friends, at restaurants … lots of places. You just have to be open to it. You have to always look good and have a smile on your face and men will approach … well most of the time! There’s a lot that just prefer to stare, but you can’t do anything about that.
So I haven’t found love again just yet, but I’m trying and I think that’s a step in the right direction. Not sure if I’m even ready. What I do know is that I won’t settle for anything but the best for me. I did that before and I won’t make that same mistake again. Nothing wrong with having fun in the process though!! The more you date the more you learn about what you want and don’t want. The more you date, the more you learn about yourself. The most important thing I have learned throughout all this is that I have to be true to myself. Single Dating Diva won’t be single forever, but I will be single until I truly find Mr. Right … in the mean time, there’s enough of Mr. Right Now to last me a long time! But that’s another story …
Stirring the Dating Sauce,
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
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