Does age matter when you are seeking out a mate online? Would you give someone a chance even if they were much older or younger than you? I had to think about this recently. I traditionally date men who are older than me. I usually give myself a window of about ten years older, maybe a couple years younger, not more than that. Recently, I had gotten a lot of profile messages from younger men, some of them much younger. It left me with the dilemma of whether or not to give them a chance. Reading their profiles, I found much in common with them and they seemed to have their lives in order, some even more successful than older men. My question … to date or not to date? I decided to give it a try. I am nothing if I’m not equitable 😉
It got me thinking … do we discriminate when it comes to dating? Are we passing up a perfectly good liaison because we think it won’t work? I would say we do. Especially when online dating. You have to be vigilant because you never know if people are being honest or not online. So what are the pros and cons of dating younger versus older … here is my “benefits brainstorm” (I’m sure you would add more to the list):
Younger – less baggage, more energy, more stamina, more adventurous, more innocent and less jaded, appreciate you more, look up to you, you know more than them, in touch with what’s current
Older – more experienced, more successful, already been through life experiences, more protective, sexually experienced, less drama, more established in their life, more reliable, more mature
As I reflected and wrote the list, I started realizing that all of it can be interchangeable. You could have younger people with the characteristics of the older and vice versa. It depends on the person and their life experiences. With this in mind, I decided to not only entertain the idea of dating someone younger, I decided to take action. OK, that’s a little dramatic isn’t it … well I am the Single Dating Diva aren’t I?!
So I’ll bet you’re curious if I met up with any of these “younger men”. Well, yes I did. I decided to meet a couple of them. I realized the younger they are, the more they adore you (again with the Diva). It is a whole different dynamic. I wrote a little about this in my personal blog post “Exploring Puma-hood” (you can read it here). Younger men are not only more virile and energetic; they inspire the same in you. I have had some good experiences and some bad. Some younger men can get quite “clingy” but most are just devoted to you. I have even dated one more than once, perhaps taking it further? We’ll see. There is something lacking in it for me – the sense of security and protection I feel with an older man. Although this younger man is quite mature, I still feel older and more mature than him. Not sure I like that. I will keep him around for now, I like spending time with him and of course love being adored! No worries because I have been honest with him about it.
I also asked some of my male friends about dating older versus younger women. They echoed my sentiments, but from a different perspective. Older women provide maturity, experience and fewer expectations than younger women who typically need to be taken care of. Older women don’t “need” them they “want” them. They said it not me! I think it also has to do with looking more virile if you have a younger woman on your arm. It’s a status thing for men. The older man demonstrates his success by his ability to attract and keep a younger woman. The older woman feels younger when she can be the desired object of the younger man. Perhaps the intention behind dating older or younger needs to be considered. Is it just about how it makes you feel and image?
Either way, I think online dating opens up many doors to the dating world and introduces us to options we might not have considered before. Keep those doors open and try, you never know, you might be pleasantly surprised! Just keep it legal, OK?
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
Copyright Single Dating Diva
Originally Published on Singles Warehouse