Ever go on a spectacular first date that had you feeling oh so hopeful only to never hear from them again? Yup, we’ve ALL been there. Talk about disheartening! The whole experience leaves you confused and grasping at every single ounce of analysis just to rationalize why it happened. It leaves you wondering if it’s you that’s the problem or is it them. Well, whatever the reason was, what do you do to ensure that it doesn’t happen to you, and if it does, how you can deal with it.
Dear Single Dating Diva,
I’m so confused. I went on a great date with someone recently. We went for coffee and then went for a walk. It went so smoothly and we instantly clicked. We talked for hours. Shared, laughed and even touched each other’s hands while speaking. He was attentive when I spoke. Asked questions and seemed genuinely interested. I wasn’t imagining it. At the end of the night we hugged and he gave me a kiss on the cheek. We both said we would like to see each other again and we went our separate ways. I sent him a text message the next day thanking him for a nice evening. Then, never heard back from him again. I can’t think of why he didn’t respond. I don’t want to be pushy and send him another message, but I don’t understand. We had a great time together. Why didn’t he call me back?
The Great First Date That Goes Nowhere
Thank you for your question. That is a dilemma. I completely understand your frustration. Just when you think everything is going great, it isn’t. You’re not alone, it’s happened to everyone. The question is why does it happen and is there anything we can do to avoid it. It’s all about approaching dates in a realistic way. Focusing on the process and not the outcomes. Essentially, that’s what’s necessary. There’s nothing you can do to predict it or avoid it. It is what it is and, unfortunately, you can’t control other people’s feelings or actions, only your own. You have to be smart and strong. From what you told me you didn’t do anything wrong. It’s good to send a thank you text the next day. But, remember, sometimes we may be feeling it and the other person doesn’t, even though you think they do. Remember, their actions will speak louder than words.
Why People Don’t Call You Back
A while back I wrote a post answering why men don’t contact you. In it I mentioned that men don’t call because they really never intended to in the first place. They had their reasons to charm you, but once they accomplished whatever it was that they wanted they had no use for you anymore. Is that the truth? Well, ya. Women do it too. But it’s not all doom and gloom. Sometimes you don’t get the call back because they could be scared or they could have changed their mind or they even maybe met someone else. Whatever the reasons are, they made a conscious choice not to see you again. Why didn’t they just tell you they weren’t interested anymore? Well, it’s because, frankly, they didn’t have the balls to do it. Plain. Simple. Chances are that there was nothing you could have done differently, don’t blame yourself.
It’s really difficult, I know, I really really do, when you think you had a connection with someone and it didn’t go anywhere. It’s hard enough to find someone who you click with. Finding them and it resulting in nothing, that just sucks. What can you do though, nothing. Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and keep moving. Don’t over analyze. Don’t over think it. Don’t beat yourself up. It is what it is. Move on.
Hope this helps!
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
Copyright Single Dating Diva