I’ve been asked by several of my male readers how they can tell if a woman likes them. Just like the ladies worry and wonder, so do the gentlemen. So how do you know if she’s interested? Well, it’s really not that hard. We often over think it when the signs are right there for you to see, you just need to open your eyes and take notice! Does she like me? Is she interested? Let’s find out!
Dear Single Dating Diva,
I am finding it very difficult to meet women. I go out often and I’m social, not shy, but I am having so much trouble figuring out if the girls I approach actually are interested or not. How do I know if the girl I’m talking to is interested or if I should approach someone or not. How do I know if she’s actually playing coy and hard to get? Should I try harder? I’m not that great with reading signals so anything you can share would be helpful. Thanks.
Thank you for your question. You’re not alone in your confusion. It’s quite challenging to read signals sometimes, especially when you aren’t sure what to look for, but, meeting someone is about taking chances. Even if you’re not sure if someone’s interested, try anyway, what’s the worst that could happen? She’ll say “no thank you”? Just be polite and down to earth, not cocky. Just say “hi, I’m …” and make a comment or observation about what going on around you. So let’s get back to how to know if she’s interested.
Does She Like Me? Is She Interested?
In order to know if someone’s interested, you have to look at things from different perspectives, namely her body language and from the words that she uses. We give off signals without even noticing, so pay attention! Here are some things to keep your eye on:
- she inadvertently plays with her hair by twirling it, for example
- her posture is good, she sits or stands upright, instead of slouching
- if you’re speaking she will lean in closer, tilt her head
- she might lick and/or bite her lip
- she might blush
- she could bat her eyelashes and make direct eye contact, pupils dilated or she will look at you and then look away and then look again
- she smiles and laughs at your jokes
- she’s on her best behavior and her most charming
- she compliments you
- she is actively listening to you and paraphrases
- she is interested in what you have to say and asks questions
- she is receptive to you
- she isn’t finding an excuse to get out of the conversation and wants to stick around
See, it’s really just using your senses and your gut to read if she’s interested or not. Wondering how to approach women? Don’t think about it, just do it. If you feel like you have an “in” then go for it, ask her out. A great way to lead into it is to use something from the conversation, whether you were speaking about a movie, an event, a restaurant, or whatever and say “we should go together” or “I would really like it if you could join me”. Do or say whatever feels most comfortable for you. Just make sure you create a comfortable, no pressure, environment. If she says yes, great! If she says no, then thank her anyway and move on. Don’t take it so hard. You don’t know unless you try! If she’s playing hard to get, don’t push too too hard. If she is interested she won’t push you away too hard, she’ll still be flirty. Just try again and chase a little, but don’t invest too much time.
Hope this helps!
Best of luck!
READERS: What advice would you give? Ladies, do you give off certain signals to guys you’re interested in? Guys, do you know some surefire ways to tell if a woman likes you? I would love to hear about it in the comments!
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
Copyright Single Dating Diva
Right on Suzie, with the body and verbal language clues. I know by now that all of those can be applied to any relationship. But when it comes to women, if she looks at you directly and seems interested in you by asking questions, you are on your way to asking her ….. “we should go together” or “I would really like it if you could join me”. In any conversations with people, look at their feet, where are they pointed? That’s a good body language tell if they are pointed toward you. Remember, body language can best be interpreted with clusters of signals.
Understanding body language is so KEY! That is the #1 tool I use to tell I guy I’m into him. Slight touches on the arm, leaning in, even mimicking his movements! But I feel women weigh too heavily on this approach or are too subtle and unfortunately, men may miss or misinterpret the signs all together! After all, they’re not mind readers!
Maybe women should carry around in their purse, a relationship starter – like a small bat. They could use it to whack a guy on the side of his head, to tell him them they are interested in more 🙂 Most times, I lean on the side of a woman just being friendly, than interested in me. Women have to get over the idea that us guys are mind readers.
Body language is a great key, but most men don’t pick up on the subtleties of females. Sometimes a girl has gotta be a little more obvious, then again so should men! lol. Chances are, if you’re wondering if she is into you, she’s wondering the same thing about you. So take a chance, make a move, be bold!
It’s so true…he really has to pay attention! Women are subtle with their cues, which is not ideal for the guys since they don’t usually like to read into anything. These are some great signs to notice, and also he should remember to go with his gut. If he’s interested, make an effort and see what happens. What is there to lose, really?
My understanding is that about 90% of human communication is non-verbal. Our subconscious is good at reading these subtleties, but the problem is getting the conscious mind to pick up on them (since the brain can process way more information in a second than the conscious mind can really handle).
Someone once described the ‘gut feeling’ to me as the subconscious signalling you about your current situation/environment. Pay attention to how the person you’re interested in is responding to you, and also pay attention to your own feelings and gut. One of those things should be able to inform you of his/her interest in you, in theory.
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