Yes, you heard me right. I don’t make a habit of dating men with kids. I am not ashamed of it. I don’t apologize for it. I just don’t usually do it. Why? Dating men with kids takes someone very selfless and someone who is good at compromising her precious partner time. I’ve said before that partner priority relationships is where I’m at. What does that mean? It means that I like to come first. Not second, not third, not last, first.
When you have someone with kids, the kids come first (as they should) and I can’t compete with that priority. So, in order to avoid those problems, dating men with kids is something I don’t do. Now I know it’s not always that black and white and some men really do have their shit together and can balance their lives, but that’s the exception to the rule. There is a lot of merit to men with kids. I don’t deny that at all. They are usually more mature and responsible and have their shit together because they have to. They are also more affectionate from what I’ve experienced. I mean I always say never say never, because anything’s possible.
Dating Men With Kids … The Great Sacrifice
Am I being melodramatic? No. I don’t think so. Why not be honest? Why should I settle for less than I know I want and deserve. There are some amazing men out there with some great kids I’m sure of it. I’ve met many of them, and, yes I have dated them. What happens is that inevitably I get put aside for one reason or another, all good reasons. That’s when I decided that this probably isn’t for me. I don’t mean to offend or exclude anyone but I just can’t do it. Boy do guys get offended when I don’t go out with them because they have young children that are at the center of their lives! Why? I am being honest not offensive.
Don’t forget the mothers, you also have to deal with her too. If it was a clean divorce/break up with no kids then she isn’t in the picture. As the mother she is! Often times that comes with drama. I don’t want to deal with someone else’s baggage. I just don’t. Then there’s the spontaneity or lack of it. You need to work around the custody and children’s schedule. I want to be able to be with my partner when it feels right. Am I limiting my choices? Well, definitely. In my age range many men who are single have had children. But, I would rather limit my choices than settle for something that I know won’t make me happy. I really don’t want to play evil stepmother. Someone else’s kids shouldn’t be my responsibility. I don’t hate kids, I love kids, I just don’t want to deal that’s all.
Dating men with kids is not for everyone. Some women love it and that’s great. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with it, I’m just saying it’s not my first choice. I do date men with kids over 18 though, they don’t really need their parents as much. Kids under 18? I rarely go there so don’t ask and please don’t get offended. Now, you never know, I might be proven wrong one day and meet an amazing guy with kids who his life in order. Never say never. I’m sure you have some dealbreakers as well … some of them might even offend. We like what we like and it’s time to be proud of who we are and what we want. Be true to you.
What do you think readers? Are you a man with kids? Are you a single woman in the same opinion as me? I would love to hear about it in the comments!
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
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