Partner Priority Relationships. Are They Possible?

No brainer right? Of course partner priority relationships are possible, right? Wrong! Why not? Well, the older you are and the more full your life is then it’s hard to make your partner a priority.  Throw kids into the mix, well, forget about it … then you’ll be having scheduled sex and seeing each other only when it’s convenient.  Eek!  Is that what a healthy relationship is about? Nope, no it’s not.  Not one bit.  Partner priority relationships are where it’s at.  It’s the only way to stay afloat.  Now, that doesn’t mean you have to abandon all your other priorities and responsibilities, but, your partner shouldn’t be left feeling like they are at the bottom of your “to do” list (literally and figuratively ;)).

For me, I need to feel that I am pretty high up on the priority list of the person I’m with.  If I don’t, well, then it’s hard for me to make that long term commitment.  I need to know that my emotional, physical and mental needs will be met.  I don’t think that’s unreasonable, especially since I’m really quite understanding and cognizant of other people’s time and obligations.  However, that’s why I have a difficult time dating men with kids, I can’t argue them putting the kids needs first.  But, I can’t be a distant second either ;). It’s hard to balance, I know. So how does this partner priority relationships stuff work anyway? Well, I’ll tell you.

Partner Priority Relationships: What It Looks Like

Partner-Priority-RelationshipsA partner priority relationship puts your partner’s feelings and needs ahead of other things.  It means that even if you’re busy and can’t see your partner, you still show them affection and that they’re wanted.  How? Well, just touching base is nice, touching base with a “miss you” or “looking forward to seeing you again” is even better … and best? Well, taking a moment of your day to pick up the telephone and call them to “just say hi and hear their voice”.  Imagine that! Easy, isn’t it? It is, it is! Usually, it doesn’t take much (or it shouldn’t) take much to please your partner.

What if you can’t see them for a while, or you’re really busy?  Then, it’s important to let them know that.  Especially if you have a scheduled or set time that you see each other.  Just letting them know that you need to get XYZ important things done that day, that something came up and although you’d love to see them you can’t.  Don’t wait for them to ask, just bring it up yourself, it will save you a lot of grief later on.

If you live with your partner, you can also fall into the endless pit of busy and end up not even crossing paths except after dark, if that.  So, make a time to touch base, whether it be at meals, or at the drive to work or whatever time you know that you will be alone and make that a special “couple” time.  You never know, it might just become a habit.  Remember, partner priority relationships make a relationship much much stronger and builds it up on solid ground.

Partner Priority Relationships: Why Consistency Is Important

In the real world we have real obligations and things we need to do.  That’s nothing new.  But, in partner priority relationships you need to be consistent.  Why? Well, it’s important that your partner feel that you care regardless of what’s going in your life.  Ignoring this one important fact may be the beginning of the end of your relationship.  No one wants to be neglected, would you?  What would you be thinking if your partner was too busy for you for whatever reasons (legitimate or not) and they weren’t sending you the same messages you were getting before.  If the affection seemed to be gone.  If you told them you missed them and they didn’t say it back? What would be going through their head? Too bad for you? You should be more sensitive to their busy schedule? No, I say too bad for them because even if they’re not with someone else, they obviously don’t put me first and you know what that means? It means shape up or ship out!! Partner priority relationships … it’s where I’M AT!!

What are your thoughts about partner priority relationships? Do you think partner’s shouldn’t be so sensitive about the subject and just trust their significant others even if they aren’t being as affectionate?  Is it a sign or a symptom? I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments below!

Your Sister in Dating Bliss,

Single Dating Diva

Copyright Single Dating Diva


  1. Yes you definitely need to make your new or current partner a priority. Obviously when you are older there are many priorities that we have to juggle but when you are in a relationship some have to get put down in the order. That is why right now I am not looking to bring someone in my life because I don’t have the time to give them priority.


  2. I feel like if all relationships were begun on a “partner priority relationship” basis, that there would be decrease in divorce and many many more successful dating relationships. Even by practicing these small, quick, touch bases, even when life does get out of control, at least you have set the foundation of your relationship, to help you get to the next step where things settle down again and you can actually spend more time together. It really doesn’t seem all that complicated to me.


  3. With my partner I expressed to them that they were my world, my priority. They responded that that was fine for me to think that way, but to them that was not the case. For them to make such bold a statement was unfair to those others in their life. And that yes I’m important to them but they can’t easily show affection because their, “brain doesn’t work that way.” This does stress me out but then I remember, each relationship is goimg to be different, like with my past partner they called me alllll the time it was suffocating. So bottom line, we live, we grow and we learn to adapt to survive.


Comments are closed.