Ask Single Dating Diva: Scheduled Sex

Scheduled sex? Eek … has life become so busy that people have to schedule sex now?  Whatever happened to spontaneity? Is scheduled sex better than no sex at all? My previous marriage was all about the scheduled sex and it left A LOT to be desired. Yawn! I understand that sometimes schedules get busy and life gets in the way, but is that an excuse? On this week’s “Ask Single Dating Diva”, one of my readers asks if scheduled sex is acceptable in a relationship.

scheduled-sexDear Single Dating Diva,

My boyfriend and I have a great thing going and that includes great sex.  However, lately, our schedules have been so busy that we’ve had to schedule sex.  Isn’t the whole point of sex to be spontaneous and random?  Doesn’t that keep it fresh and exciting? I really like this guy and don’t want our scheduled sex to be our downfall.  Is scheduled sex acceptable in a relationship or does it mean we’re spiraling into monotony? 


Checking the Clock

Dear Checking the Clock,

Thank you for your question! It’s a good one!  You’re not the only one with this question either.  Good news, you don’t have to spiral into monotony but it’s going to take a bit of work.  In this busy day and age it’s hard to imagine that  there’s any time for spontaneous anything, especially sex, add kids to that equation and forget sex altogether!  I’m here to to tell you that’s NOT acceptable.  Mix it up!  Scheduled sex should be a temporary arrangement, as needed, on the short term. For example, there’s a lot going on in the next few weeks so you need to pencil each other in.  That’s completely OK.  What is not OK is to have regular Saturday morning sex appointments all the time and not deviate from it.  Then you get lazy.  But, is scheduled sex better than no sex at all? Well, yes, it is, obviously.  But, don’t make it a habit.  You can still make it fun and interesting though.  It’s really up to you to make it fun.

How To Make Scheduled Sex Spontaneous

Ask-Single-Dating-DivaEven though you’re having scheduled sex, you can still keep it interesting and fun.  How? Well, you can make scheduled sex spontaneous IN bed.  Bring something interesting and new to the equation … new lingerie, new toys, new techniques, new fun things to try, maybe even new places to try (just keep it legal ;)).  Here is an article I liked about making sex sizzle which gives you some great tips on keeping it interesting before, during and after sex.  In the mean time, you can entice your partner while you wait for your scheduled sex by sending pictures of your body (not your face) or sexts to tell them what you’d like to do to them or them to do to you or even remind them of the last time and what you liked.  It’s all about keeping it interesting and captivating.  Scheduled sex CAN be spontaneous … just use your imagination!

Hope this helps!!

Readers what do you think? Is having scheduled sex OK? I would to hear about it in the comments!

Your Sister in Dating Bliss,

Single Dating Diva

Copyright Single Dating Diva


  1. If you are both busy, scheduled sex is better than no sex at all. But, it’s one thing to be too busy for sponatneous sex for 6 months or even a year, but you wouldn’t want to make a lifestyle out of it. If work is cutting into your life that much, change jobs!


  2. Scheduling sex does sound like something that a couple never wants to do. However, if you can schedule a date night, then why not a sex night? It’s an important part of the relationship, so whatever you do to keep it going works, if you ask me. Like you said, SDD, if it’s a temporary fix, then why not “get in when you can fit in?”


Comments are closed.