Who likes rejection? C’mon, show of hands … that’s what I thought … no one. No one likes rejection! Everyone wants to be wanted and wants to be loved. Unfortunately, not everyone is going to like us and not everyone will appreciate our charm, humor and good looks 😉 You really really have to develop a thick skin in order to date. Truth is, not everyone is going to like you … so you’re feeling rejected? Well, I say suck it up buttercup! Just leave them behind and say NEXT!! Tough love? You betcha! That’s what I told one reader recently who just couldn’t get over why she never gets the guy she wants and ends up feeling rejected by them.
Dear Single Dating Diva,
I’m not an unattractive person and I think I have a pretty balanced life with a lot to offer someone. I just always end up on the rejection side of dating. The only ones who want me are ones that I don’t want. What am I doing wrong? I go on dates and think it’s gone well but never get called back. I’m starting to doubt myself and my worth. What should I do because I’m seriously feeling rejected!
Dear Feeling Rejected,
Thank you for your question and reaching out. I totally get where you’re coming from. I’ve certainly been there. I will bet 99.9% of people who are out there dating are experiencing the same thing. It’s a normal part of dating, unfortunately. That doesn’t make it hurt less though, I get that. So what to do? Well, a couple things come to mind …
Feeling Rejected? Don’t Care So Much
Not too long ago I wrote a post called The Secret to a Great First Date and in it I advised readers to go into the date not giving a damn. Yes, you heard right. Don’t give a damn. Why? Well, because people give too much weight to first dates. They go in with all their expectations of happily ever after that they forget they are meeting someone new. All relationships, romantic or not, have a natural end, sometimes that ends in forever, most times it doesn’t. Don’t put so much pressure on them or you. See a first date as meeting someone new. That’s it, that’s all. A new friend. If it results in more then great, if not, then it doesn’t. You move on. This way you will be less disappointed. You know what? When you approach a first date like this then you’re also more likely to be yourself and not put on an act AND you’ll be more desirable. Imagine that, being yourself makes you more desirable!
Feeling Rejected? Change Your Strategy
More often than not we’re our own worst dating enemies. We make poor choices for ourselves and then regret it later. You need to take a long hard look at your dating experiences and look for trends. Is there one type of guy you always gravitate towards? Essentially, you need to ask yourself “Am I the Problem?“. When you figure that out then you might change your strategy. Try a new type of person to date, try a new way to meet people. I find the best places to meet others is doing activities that you love because your guard is down and you will find others with similar interests as you.
Feeling Rejected? It’s Not About You
You can’t make someone like you in the same way that no one can make you like them. Don’t take it too personally, you guys just didn’t click or the attraction was one sided. Does it suck? Well, yes, of course it does. Is it the end of the world? Nope, it’s not. So what do I say? Suck It Up Buttercup! Be in it to win it!! If they don’t want you who cares about them!! Go find someone who wants AND deserves you because they obviously don’t, so don’t waste your time sulking over it. That’s time that you could be using to meet someone new.
What do you think readers? Am I being harsh or is a thick skin when dating the real answer? I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments!
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
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