What Is Your Relationship To Sex?: Guest Post

Raw Attraction Magazine, THE dating, sex and relationships magazine for men and women (and they are CANADIAN! Yay Canada!).  They shared this article with us about how your perceptions of sex from an early age make a difference in your attitudes about sex.  Enjoy!

relationship to sexWhen guys were 14 years old, they started to associate ‘being cool’ with getting laid. Haven’t lost your v-plates at school yet? Uh oh… you’re not in the cool gang. Getting laid was the coolest thing one could do and it seemed as if it was the only way to transform from worthless to worthy.

Since our school days, we have all been trying to shake off these social shackles of associating ‘cool’ with getting some. Just as women shake off the ridiculous ‘slut’ labeling.

As men, we wake up each morning with the reminder that our genitalia wants something: our sweet morning glory. We are constantly reminded that our penis should be somewhere else throughout the rest of our day. Sex is proverbially thrust in our faces on a daily basis. So, it begs the question…

What Is Your Relationship to Sex?

Have you ever thought about what your relationship to sex is? Ask yourself these questions:

  • Does sex set you free?
  • Is there love and connection in sex or are you afraid of that?
  • Do you feel you need sex or do you want sex?

Our Relationship to Sex Defines Us

My relationship to sex happens every moment. Sure, it’d be nice to have sex every day, but I don’t want average sex. I’m not even sure I know what that is anymore. I want mind-blowing beast sex that shocks my partner and I into an alternative reality. I want such a degree of connection that our senses are literally blown into another dimension. Of course, this isn’t possible every single day. I travel so much that these experiences may only happen once a month or every two months sometimes. The ‘waiting’ can plague me. It plagues me because I still feel social pressure to have sex. I mean, I write for a magazine that is ALL ABOUT sex and relationships. Surely I should be able to magic up some kind of sexual smorgasbord at any moment that I wish? No. I am human too.

I know, soon, someone will come along and, it will all make sense. It’s usually that two or three people come along at once and they all fit into the puzzle somewhere, to teach me something about myself.

It’s being calm and comfortable in these ‘dry patches’ that we guys must get used to. It’s okay if you haven’t had sex recently. As much as your biological seed wants to spread into the womb of the opposite sex, everything is still fine. The world isn’t about to break and there is still hope for you yet!

Make no mistake – this is a daily battle. There might be days when you feel worthless because you can’t get a date, or you can’t even get a phone number to get a date. This isn’t a time to feel sorry for yourself or have an empty feeling inside. This is a time to feel full.

Value and love need to spread across all areas of your life, not just with sex and relationships. What are your goals? What is your mission in other areas of your life?

Think of that tomorrow morning when you wake up. It’s not up to me to tell you what to do. The choice is yours. I only ask you to ask yourself that question… What is YOUR relationship to sex?

What is YOUR relationship to sex? We would love to hear about it in the comments!

This article was first published in Raw Attraction Magazine. Raw Attraction is available on iPad or iPhone and is completely free. Search ‘raw attraction’ in iTunes to download here. You are able to find more information at their website and visit them on Facebook.

Your Sister in Dating Bliss,

Single Dating Diva

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