I remember…

I Remember …

There are those places that hold a special place in our hearts. Those places with special memories attached to them. Whether it is a good memory or a bad one, these are significant places. Sometimes our attachment to these places leads us to avoid them when our relationship ends. Too many memories creates negative feelings. It’s really difficult to let it go, isn’t it? Where you had your first date, where you had your first kiss … where you laughed so hard you almost peed your pants. Where you broke up. Where you saw them with someone else. There are endless scenarios, but you get what I mean. Do I have these places? Of course I do. For every relationship I have been in, I have certain locations I tend to avoid because it’s painful to be there. I would say both good and bad memories cause pain in that instance!

I have some restaurants I love, but I can’t sit there without thinking of one of my ex’s. We used to go there all the time. He’s someone I would prefer to forget. No such luck. So I avoid that restaurant. But I shouldn’t. Just like I avoid certain stores because I know that I might bump into someone I don’t particularly want to see. Someone I am trying to cleanse myself from. But is that logical, probably not, because I can just as easily bump into him somewhere else, right? We do things like that. They don’t make sense, but we do them. Why? To avoid the pain? To forget. But we aren’t forgetting because we aren’t truly dealing with it. So why do we do it? To me, it doesn’t make sense.

The question I often ask myself is, do we have to forget or does remembering make us stronger and wiser? I guess it depends on the situation. What do I mean? Well, every relationship we have teaches us a lesson, at least it should … even if that lesson is to not go out with that kind of person again. A lesson is a lesson. So by remembering we keep that lesson alive. But what if remembering is painful? I believe it’s all how you channel that energy. For example, if a certain restaurant lets you remember a good relationship gone sour … take that feeling and channel it into something positive. A lesson. Something you learn in order not to repeat your experience. So this place becomes a place of positive, rather than negative energy. I always believe that when you think positive you attract positive, so that’s how I am attempting to live my life. It’s not always easy, but it’s doable.

Is there hope? Well, it’s difficult. It’s just a matter of disassociating yourself. Making some new positive memories to forget the old ones. I’m trying to do that. I just think why should I give up somewhere I like because of a man who didn’t treat me right. So I am disconnecting those memories and replacing them with new ones. Perhaps it’s a ritual cleaning of sorts … or maybe, an exorcism … well depends on which relationship I’m talking about! But that’s a story for another day!

Stirring the Dating Sauce,

Your Sister in Dating Bliss,

Single Dating Diva