Dating Desperation is NOT Attractive

I recently had to block someone on my online profile … I RARELY have to do that.  But it was getting insane.  What happened you ask?  Well desperation happened! This guy was NOT too proud to beg.  How desperate do you have to be to put all your pride and logic aside just for a message from a random stranger?  I wonder sometimes.  Usually I’ll get one or two messages from the same person asking me to re-consider if I don’t reply to them.  This guy, I got at least 25 in the last 24 hours.  Yikes!  Not cool.

Desperation Not Attractive Single Dating DivaWhat did he do that was so irritating and desperate?  Well, he kept sending message after message … here they are: “hi, I want to be your friend”, “hi, I’m lonely”, “do you want to be my friend”,  “please talk to me”, “why aren’t you answering”, “I just want to talk to you”, “please I beg you”, “where are you”, “are you there”, “here is my telephone number, call me”, “why don’t you talk to me”, “hello”, “why aren’t you answering”, “please answer”, “ok bye”, “c’mon please answer” … should I continue?  Well, you get the picture.  I found it a little funny, then annoying … then borderline creepy, so then I blocked him.  That just isn’t normal behaviour for anyone.

It got me thinking, have I ever done that to anyone?  Well, sometimes we get a little crazy when someone doesn’t respond to us or there is a weird situation.  I’ve sent multiple texts or emails when trying to prove my point during a disagreement or if someone won’t answer, but it’s usually in the context of a friendship or relationship of some sort.  If I send a message to someone and they don’t respond, I leave it at that.  I don’t try again.  I don’t respond to every message I get, particularly if I am not interested, so I expect others to do the same.  I’m certainly not desperate by any stretch of the imagination!

But do we get obsessive sometimes?  I think we do, but when you’re online dating that’s a big NO-NO! You don’t want to be the person that someone blocks.  We sometimes get caught up in the exchanges and forget we are dealing with real people.  Because we are interacting behind a computer screen, we leave behind our inhibitions and social graces.  It happens, but it’s important to remember that we are all online to meet a potential partner.  It is also important to remember that regardless how lonely and desperate you are no one wants to hear that.  It’s a huge turn-off for others.  It makes them run the other way.

My word of advice, don’t let your ominous need for companionship cloud your judgement.  By being normal and yourself, you will find someone, it might take more time than you’d like, but remember, you want the right person, not just any person.

Happy Dating!

Your Sister in Dating Bliss,

Single Dating Diva

Copyright Single Dating Diva

Originally Published on Singles Warehouse

4 comments

  1. Nice post! Yes, that guy was very creepy. I’ll admit to sitting at my computer with my finger on the mouse asking myself “Should I send this message?” I’d like to think that most of the time my better judgment won out and I didn’t come off as a psycho. Guys have to be a bit more assertive and some of us clearly don’t know what that looks like. I’m positive that that dude wouldn’t have said all that stuff to you in person.

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    • Thanks for the comment! Yes, I’m sure his better judgement would have won out. We tend to forget we are dealing with real people and that these are real situations. A follow up message isn’t that big of a deal, but this guy went overboard!!

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