Every woman wonders “why can’t I just find a nice guy”. But do they really mean it? Do you really want a guy who is no drama, no spark, no craziness and who makes it so easy? OK sounds tempting, I agree, but really … is that what you REALLY want? How dull. Think about it, who wants someone who complies and agrees with you all the time. Trust me, it’s great in the beginning but then it gets old and boring very fast. That’s what happened to me with my ex-husband. He was a “nice guy” who came along after a string of “bad guys” and I was on my last straw. What happened? Well, he swept me off my feet with his niceness and compliance and romance … then what happened? We got married and it became dull and uninteresting. Grow a pair already!
Life with someone should be interesting and exciting. A little drama and disagreement now and then never hurts a relationship, it actually strengthens it and makes it grow. Keeping a little to the imagination helps keep the spark alive! Although it’s fun to always get your way, you will wish that the other person would take some initiative. I’m not saying the “bad guy” is the way to go, but there should be some balance. It keeps things interesting and exciting.
It works the same the other way too … no guy wants a girl that’s too easy to get. There’s something to be said for the chase. Think about anything you worked hard to get and how proud you were to get it. You valued it more because it wasn’t easy to get. It’s the same with dating. Make it too easy and you will lose interest just as fast as you got it. Everyone says they want someone who’s “drama free” and that’s not a bad thing, but we don’t want someone who’s “excitement free”. There’s a difference, trust me.
Me, personally, I don’t want your all around nice guy. Nice guys just don’t cut it for me. As you can tell from my dating history, I don’t typically choose the nice guy and yes I get burned, I know. I will be the first to admit it. But I don’t want a nice guy. They bore me and it always seems they have something to hide (why are they being so nice?). Nice guys usually aren’t very ambitious and they typically don’t have it in them to push the envelope in life. It’s great for some people, but not me. I want a guy who will go to any lengths to succeed … that shows me he’s a survivor and is a good provider. I want to know that my partner will take care of me (and I’m not talking financially) and I will never have to worry. A nice guy typically won’t go to any lengths to survive, a guy with an edge will. I am a survivor and I want a survivor.
So, “nice guys” look deep inside you and get out that edge … the ladies will love it and you will feel much better about yourself. It will show you are confident and know who you are and aren’t afraid of rejection.
“Every girl wants a Bad Boy who is good only for her and every guy wants a Good Girl who is bad only for him.” ― Evette Carter
Stirring the Dating Sauce,
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
Copyright Single Dating Diva
I don’t want a boring guy, but nice is good. By “nice” I don’t mean pathetic doormat or someone who is afraid to be sexual with me though.
My Professor is a nice guy. He pays for things, takes me out, gets little gifts for me and my kids and is a total gentleman. He opens doors, he’s cooked me breakfast and dinner. He listens when I talk, he cuddles after sex. However he is also a dynamo in the bedroom and we both have sex with others. Kind of the perfect combo!
Thanks for your comment! Sounds like you’ve got a great guy … nice doesn’t have to be boring, but, it depends if your needs are being met or not. Sounds like yours are 🙂
When I hear the word drama, I think of pinky rings and gold teeth. I envision tank-top wearing, no job having, thumbs are sore and callused from playing Call Of Duty son’s of guns. I know that’s not the kind of drama you’re speaking of.
But seriously, the word (Nice) is kind of like the word Love, it’s been so over used that it could mean any number of things.
@lifeofalovergirl You rock on with your Professor Love Dynamo!
Thanks for the comment JY! You’re right … just like the word love “nice” can mean any number of things!
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