We have all heard this and felt it, right? Well I am convinced it’s true. I think I have officially pulled my last straw. I’ve had enough. Really, honestly have had enough. Just when you think things are going well and that spark of hope is ignited, your parade gets rained on – or more appropriately, pissed on. Out goes the hopeful flame and your faith in society. So what happened, you ask? Here’s what happened with the guy who I totally was ready to designate my “mr. z” (for all you newbies to my blog I designate all my dates with a letter of the alphabet and mr. z was supposed to be the last) who would be my next real relationship.
I will call him the Sleezy Picasso. He is an artist, a successful one. We met via commenting on an art thing online. He seemed so interesting and even though he lived in another city, I pursued our friendship at first, and then relationship. So we’ve been chatting for over a month on email, text, BBM and the telephone. Sent each other lots of pictures. We spoke almost every day since we met. During the day we were both busy, but sometimes we would touch base, but every night we spoke. Things were great, I really liked him and he really liked me. We even dabbled with potential in the “love” department. One thing he was big on was honesty. He wanted to be completely honest with me and wanted me to be completely honest with him. Fine with me. He was true to his word, or so I thought. I actually was optimistic that this really could work. Things weren’t perfect, he was a bit of a baby when he didn’t get what he wanted but we always worked through it. We even talked about potential snags and had disagreements … normal.
We decided to meet last week, he was going to send me a ticket to go to where he is. Then something came up, his mother (who has cancer) took a turn for the worse and he had to go see her. OK, I said, I understand. So he went, and we continued to speak each day. Nothing changed. We decided to meet this weekend instead. He promised that he was 200% sure we were meeting. First he was going to come see me, then I said I wanted to go there, he said “whatever makes you happy babe”. OK, so it was decided. I would go there. I waited for my ticket, nothing. Tuesday came and I asked him to please send it to me so I can make my arrangements, he said he was having a crazy day and would book it Wednesday. Tuesday night he called me and we chatted a bit and he wanted to go eat something and I had to take a shower. He said “I’ll call you in a short while love”, I said “OK”. He never did.
Next day (Wednesday) I sent him a good morning BBM text as usual, and he never read it or responded. That’s odd. The whole day and evening passed and nothing. Thursday I called him, no answer, same thing. Nothing. Friday, I sent him a BBM saying “confused”. He didn’t read it. Nothing. Now it’s Saturday. I can safely assume we aren’t meeting … can I safely assume he’s gone? That it’s over? It’s extremely odd … how could he have just disappeared like that. He seemed so excited to finally meet me and had a whole schedule planned, he even let me know what sorts of clothes I will need for what we’re doing. He asked me options for restaurants, night clubs, touristy stuff. Two options, either I got played REALLY GOOD (and this would put him in my NEW BREED OF PLAYER category) or something happened to him (which he usually will take a second to let me know). Not sure what to think. I am completely deflated, totally traumatized and absolutely saddened by this. Is there really NO HOPE? Really, truly. I don’t understand. I really don’t. I tried calling and no answer. I don’t even know what to say or do. I am speechless (I know it’s hard to believe).
I didn’t see it coming. He gave me no indication – no apparent red flags. We had normal conversations. We talked about relationships and how we would work with the distance. We talked about family. We talked about hopes and dreams. We talked about what we wanted in a relationship (emotionally, physically and spiritually). I don’t understand and I am deeply saddened and confused by this. I could totally see myself with him, we enjoyed the same things, the same lifestyle. He seemed sincere when he spoke to me. If he wasn’t interested anymore then why didn’t he just say something. He totally seemed like he would, we always talked about any challenges we were having and resolved them. Weird.
So was it too good to be true? Seems so. I think I’m done. That’s it. I’ve had enough … time for celibacy? (I keep telling myself “don’t call Mr. R“, “don’t call Mr. R” … but just a hug from him ALWAYS makes me feel better and erases all my troubles)
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
Copyright Single Dating Diva
i think i’ve truly given up for the moment. i feel that i’ve been so screwed over by men of my past that i’d rather not deal with another heartbreak or relationship failure. i’ve been asked to go out on dates and i’ve had guys interested in me and wanting to get to know me more… but it’s so hard to let my guards down for fear of being let down yet again.
i’ve really been shrugging the possible dates off and spending a lot of time with my family and children.
i’ve honestly grown a hate for dating because of all the bad experiences i’ve had with my past relationship and past dates (if you wanna call em dates).
my company party is at the end of next month and i’m taking A DATE to that party. and i’m ok with not dating in between. like i’ve said… i’ve momentarily given up.
i feel your pain =/
Thanks for your comment 🙂 It is very frustrating. Dating is very challenging. We’ve gotten jaded and don’t trust anything that comes out of a man’s mouth anymore. Good or bad, we never know if they are being honest. Boys behaving badly … that’s the reality.
Is it possible that something happened to his mother and could/would not respond to your emails? I know, you’re going to say, it takes 2 minutes to send an email, but if he is in his bubble and struggling with his emotions by dealing with the situation with his mother.
I would suggest that you wait until he gets in touch with you. Stop sending him emails or calling him. If something really happened, he will notify you one way or the other. If not, then you were right, he just got cold feet. You are then better of to find out now than later.
You know, I have no idea what could have happened. I’m just going to let it rest and see what happens. Still sad about it but making the best of my weekend 🙂
I’ve given up trying to understand the way boys behave. They make no sense, jumping from hot to cold. I’m not sure where that leaves all of us girls though…!
I totally agree! It’s this new breed of player, I’m telling you!
They really are a whole new species!
God, I hate guys. Hang in there, sister, all is not lost. I managed to write three books about the three years I spent as a single chick & am working on the fourth book now. You are NOT alone in this. And just so you know, I met my own “Mr. Z” and married him less than two years later, when all of my married girlfriends were getting divorced. Don’t lose faith, just keep dating & thinking, “Well, at least I didn’t marry him.”
Thanks for the words of encouragement 🙂 … I guess we never know what the future holds! Congrats on your books! That’s my goal too.
Maybe he was scared away by your clingy-ness. And to lable him as a player which denotes some kind of negative attribute (what the heck is a player anyway?), reveals your immaturity. Maybe this guy was annoyed with all the texts and messages you left him?
Thank you for your comment Bob, but I would have to respectfully disagree. He was the one that was very clingy and contacting me, he just stopped. This is not something only I experience, it’s just the way some people are. I also don’t think you should label or judge someone unless you know them. What about him and his actions did you find so positive???
you might want to check out my latest post Bob, about that very subject https://singledatingdiva.com/2012/03/29/now-you-see-it-now-you-dont/
look up the definition sociopath and you’ll find the answer. it’s all a game to this man and you were just a pawn in it.
Comments are closed.