The Ex Factor: The More Things Change The More They Stay The Same

Recently I’ve had 3 different ex’s contact me … was there a full moon or something?  Don’t you ever wish they would just disappear?  I do … seriously, you delete their number and totally cut off contact.  Then what? They find you again.  Well I say if we are not together it’s for a reason, it’s because I don’t want you or you were a naughty naughty boy.  So why do they call you? Sometimes they miss you or sometimes they have ulterior motives … we’ve all heard of sex with the ex? Well it’s a bad idea! The past should stay in the past … there’s a reason you’re not together anymore.

We tend to sometimes just think about and remember the good times and forget about all the times they screwed us over … they are Somebody That You Used To Know … keep them that way!!!  How to do that? Well there’s an app for that!! LOL … no really there is an app for that!!! They block all calls from any number you want to avoid.  Hmm who would you block?

But let’s get back to my “ex factor” stories … 

So first I run into Mr. S at the store.  Good thing I was in a rush.  I saw him from far and he came up to me and hugged me, I didn’t hug back.  Guess what he did? Yup … he sniffed me.  If you recall, he loved the way I smelled so much he would just sniff me in public.  He would literally take a big whiff and look like he was in ecstasy.  He let me go and asked how I was and I said I was doing great … he went on and spoke about what he was up to, but he saw I really wasn’t interested in the conversation.  He asked me what was wrong and I said I was busy and in a rush.  He said “fine go” and so I did.  Didn’t hear from him since, weirdo.

Who else? Well, Mr. F keeps trying to woo me back, but it seems he is getting the picture now.  He sends me random messages that he misses me and wants to see me, but I refuse.  He comments on my pictures on FaceBook still and thinks I am so beautiful … OK I admit I never get tired of hearing that, but, flattery will get you nowhere.  You made your bed bello, now lie in it!! Ciao!!!!

Then, Mr. Z comes back into the picture … guns blazing.  He wanted to be in contact again.  He wanted us to be friends.  He started by sending random messages of questions or jokes.   Well, what he really wanted to know is if what I wrote about him was bad or good to which I responded “I always write truth, if you were good, then I wrote good, if you were bad, I wrote bad”.  If you recall, he was the one with the fiance. He kept bugging me to send him the post but I didn’t .  He kept bugging me, even telling me he promised not to comment. So I caved, I sent it to him.  He read it and responded that in addition to being so sexy and beautiful, I was also a great writer.  I said thanks.  Then he said “I didn’t comment”.  I told him he could comment if he wanted because everyone was entitled to their opinion.  He didn’t comment.  We are still in contact because he insisted we need to be friends because I am the most amazing woman he’s ever met.  He said that he tried to forget me and couldn’t.  I agreed (I mean about the friends) … but I told him I reserve the right to tell him off about what he did whenever I want.  He agreed.  He wants to see me, I haven’t agreed yet.  I didn’t ask if the fiance was still in the picture. Perhaps I should … but it doesn’t matter because, as you know “we will never ever ever get back together“.

My Conclusion?

The more things change the more they stay the same.  The relationship ended for a reason and that reason is still there.  Why on earth would I go back to dating them?  Friends, maybe, but no relationship.  I’ve said before I’m very forgiving and believe in moving forward instead of staying stuck in the past. That doesn’t mean I forget, however, how someone treated me will always be engraved in my head and my heart and I will never ever forget.  Remember that “someone may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel” (Carl W. Buechner) and if someone hurt me and broke my heart then I will always remember. I will never give them the chance to do that again. Plain. Simple.

Your Sister in Dating Bliss,

Single Dating Diva

Copyright Single Dating Diva


  1. you’ve got THAT right… the more things change, the more they stay the same. LOSERS never fail at being LOSERS. Good job chicky… way to stick to your guns!


  2. don’t give in!! don’t do it!! there is another guy around the corner if you have patience, there is always another guy who is BETTER. besides. i need someone to go dancing with me this friday night. 😀


  3. Mr Z? That’s not even a nice name 🙂 I think you must listen to your own advice on this one. I’ll try and do the same, should an ex ever reappear …


  4. Great post! I’m notorious for getting back with exes and all it’s done is guaranteed my singleness for over 7 years now. “You live and you learn” apparently doesn’t apply to me… But reading your blog almost works like my own little support group- just hearing it said is helpful, so keep up the great advice!


  5. I love this! You go girl! What is it with men. When they ha e you they can’t look after you, treat you or the relationship with the respect deserved, when they don’t have you they wa.t you. Perhaps its to do with the ‘unobtainable’ trying to win back something they can’t have/dont deserve. You handled that brilliantly. If you have a look at my blog you’ll see I’m writing a book called Mr Wrong and am looking for Mr Wrong Stories. Could you post a link to your Mr Z story on my page please. He had a fiance while he was seeing you? What a rat! That’s happened to me before too, only I found out a year or so later AFTER our 10 month relationship. In unbelievable! X


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