When we meet someone new that we really like, we tend to see things with rose-colored glasses. Everyone is on their best behavior, sparks are flying and butterflies have taken over your stomach. Then when that all wears off, what is left? In our next installment of the “Single and Dating Life” series, Heather (@AskHeatherG) shares with us her fairy tale romance gone wrong …
I can remember it like it was yesterday, yup, I dated a cheater! It started my first year out of college; I thought I was so grown and independent, so of course, I needed a “man” to match my new-found freedom. After frequenting the local restaurants and clubs (which were slim to none, let me tell you), I met a guy who seemed to hold my attention longer than 5 seconds. The thing I admired about him most was that “he was different.” He was different alright… he was a liar!
After a few months of engaging in small talk, we decided to take things up a notch. Thinking back on it, I probably should have seen the signs, but when you really care for someone, I guess you let a couple of things slide. Day in, day out, all I was thinking about was my new friend. He seemed to be everything a woman could dream for. When we went on dates, he’d always seem so happy to have me by his side. He smiled from ear to ear at the sight of me. He gave me little gifts and keepsakes for no reason at all. This was really shaping up to be a man I could marry, and heaven knows that’s ALL you need at 23 years old (I’m being sarcastic). But as we know, in any relationship, there is a turning point. You know what I am talking about, the stage where the excitement wears off and you are stuck with the realization that maybe “Mr. Perfect,” isn’t so perfect after all.
I remember my phone ringing one evening and to my surprise, there was another woman’s voice on the other end. She went on to tell me that the man I was dating was not single and that he had a girlfriend. A WHAT? I should have probably been mad, but I was hurt. I could not believe it. How could HE have a girlfriend? Well, you probably guessed it; he denied everything. The explanation he gave seemed to be so believable or maybe it was that I wanted to believe him, whatever it was, I stayed. Mistake #1!
After weeks passed, I thought that maybe this crazy ex lady was a complete liar and my man was telling the truth. Things seemed to be going ok, that is until my schedule changed at work. I was now available during different hours and so my calls were more frequent and random, but guess what, Mr. Wonderful was nowhere to be found. Somehow, still, I stayed. Mistake #2.
I was determined there would be no mistake #3, so I started my own investigation and found out that not only was the “crazy ex” lady telling the truth, but that my man had actually bought a home with her and had recently proposed to her. WTH!!!?! I am sure you are finding it hard to believe that I didn’t know any of this, but when you are smitten by someone, you have a tendency to put blinders on. I guess I was that dumb, young girl who fell for the nonsense.
UPDATE: 4 years later and this guy is not married, not in any committed relationship and essentially homeless (living in his father’s house). Bum! Good thing I moved on.
Sometimes things happen for the best … we don’t realize it right away, but when looking back we see how lucky we were to get out of that relationship. Ladies, gents … it’s time to remove those rose-colored glasses and see people for who they really are and not what you want them to be. Heather was smart and realized who this guy was … we all stick around though, perhaps out of curiosity, perhaps because we want to fix them … or is it just hope? Well whatever it is, remember to be true to yourself! You deserve the best and don’t let anyone convince you otherwise!
Check out Heather’s site at http://www.askheatherg.net/ for lots of great information and advice about relationship, style and being the best you! You can also follow her on Twitter @AskHeatherG.
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
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