The Power of the Text Message

We all do it … some of us more than others … it’s texting. When you’re single and dating, texting takes on a whole new meaning. It could make the difference between making or breaking a new liaison. How? Well, communicating by text is an easy way to connect with someone and keep in touch without having to call them. However, texts should never replace actually speaking with someone. They should be a way to “touch base” and should be used more as a “thinking of you” rather than “my day went like this blah blah blah”.

Here are some great tips to keep in mind when you are communicating by text/sms/bbm:

1. Short & Sweet – Remember the “lucky 7” rule … each message should be 7 words or less. Keeping your message short and sweet ensures it is read and understood. Text messages aren’t meant to be email replacements. Keep the lengthy discussions to voice conversations.

2. Limited
 – Say what you have to say and don’t keep it going on and on. Also, do not message your love interest countless times a day … especially to ask them “what are you doing?” because it looks needy and desperate. A short “just wanna say thinking of you” or “looking forward to seeing you later” says it all without seeming clingy.

3. Strategic – Use text messages to your advantage. If you are trying to keep someone intrigued, don’t over text. The time between responses should be longer and longer. Don’t respond right away this way they keep checking their phone and you’ll be on their mind. Let them have the last word, don’t worry, they will respond back … especially if they are interested. If they don’t, well, then you have your answer. By no means should you chase anyone or over text them. If someone wants you they will contact you. Over texting them will only chase them away from you.

4. Discreet – Don’t text personal information about yourself or anyone else because you never know who’s going to read it. If you and your partner are engaging in “sexting” delete the message or keep them locked for your eyes only. Besides, even then don’t be too forward or descriptive … keep them guessing and throw random ideas out there and tease them … it will engage them further and make them want to text you back to find out more. Don’t send naked photos of yourself, ever, unless you are in a long term committed relationship. Even then, be careful, no faces.

5. Timely – The timing of text messages is also very important. First of all nothing before 10AM or after 10PM unless you have an agreement. If you saw your love interest and you enjoyed your time, it’s OK to text them the next day to say “thank you last night was fun” or “thanks for last night”. It’s not only polite to thank your date, but it shows them you’re still interested. Then the ball is their court, don’t text again, let them contact you.

Also, put your phone away when you’re on a date. It shows that you value your date and appreciate your time with them. It also shows you respect them. It goes without saying, right? Well you would be surprised how many people need this gentle reminder. If you want something to work out, then text smartly and you never know … those texts could land you the partner of your dreams!

Stirring the Dating Sauce,

Your Sister in Dating Bliss,

Single Dating Diva

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